Posts by oldcrowwoman

three and a half years ago i met my girlfriend, and everything seemed great until about two or three months later she told me that she used to be a jw (and that her brother and certain other family members still were).

oldcrowwoman

Hi Figureheaduk~~~~~~~~ Have'nt chatted a while. Sorry to hear your relationship is'nt working out.

Ending are never easy. Even its for the best. Trust your gut in needing to take care of your self. I always try to figure out honestly and repectfully how I am going to end the relationship with dignity.

I see people as teachers , they come into our lives to teach about ourselves. Kinda like a mirror. When changes are made it upsets the apple cart. That gifts were given. They are not always painless.

You have my support in the way you take care of yourself.

OCW

21

Stopping smoking - any suggestions?

by be wise in

jw
friends

hi, i smoke, not loads, but i would like to stop.

i think i will find it really hard though and was wondering how you stopped if you were a previous smoker.

i also suffer from asthma which obviously doesn't make things any better.

oldcrowwoman

I quit smoking 6 years ago. What was the deciding factor, having ear and sinus infections and the Doc telling I may have to have tubes put into the roof of my mouth to the sinuses to drain. Found out from one of the ER Docs whats the process and sounded horrible to go thru. That was the deciding factor in quitting.

I went cold turkey. I did'nt have time to figure it out. And it was the best method for me. I was smoking 3 packs a day!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got involved with a 12 step Smoking group once a week for a couple of years. Which was one my saving grace!!

I did'nt worry about the weight. I packed some pounds. There came a time I did'nt have focus staying off cigs. And channel my energy to remove the access. Staying off cigs was my top priority.

Drank alot water and chewed gum. thats my devise now. I could probably pave the highway from Minneapolis to New York City with the gum I have chewed~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~. Ha!

chemicals is the cigs are powerful addiction. Went throught the same feelings as I did getting off of alcohol. I think the chemicals are worst. Plays the same mind games.

I get the desire every now and again to smoke for me its all related to feelings. When I get those feelings I stick a piece of gum in my mouth and minutes later its forgotten.

I had alot of support with friends, support groups and my work place and my girls.

Its true that cigs are nasty to get off from than heroin...

Be gentle with your self. You will get the support connecting here.

Keep us updated~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the Best, OCW

35

If you were gay would you...

by Swan in

jw
friends

in light of the recent threads on homosexuality, if you were gay would you let anyone on this site know?

would you feel supported as a gay exjw or would you feel ridiculed?

would you feel safe here?

oldcrowwoman

In light of the recent threads on homosexuality, if you were gay would you let anyone know on this site?

Yes I would when the opportunities arise.

Would you feel supported as gay exjw or would you feel ridiculed?

for the most part supported. There a few low riders that like create drama and make fools out of themselves!!

Would you feel supported as a gay exjw or would you feel that revealing your sexual orientation would make you subject to attack?

Thats the risk I take.

No I would be perceive as flaunting your life style.

Considering what jw's put gay people thru, would you feel that this site is accepting, tolerant or judgemental?

For myself is accepting, tolerant and judgemental. And lately their is hateful threads. that don't need to to exposed on this site. It saddens me to read the hatefulness and hitting below the belt.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mentality!!

As far as double standard I have no clue its been awhile in a primary relationship

OCW

23

Women as Viewed by the WTS (continuing installments)

by blondie in

jw
friends

as i do research, i come across other things said by the wts that makes me wonder why i didn't leave then:.

11/1/85 wt p 24. .

further, such a woman is humble-minded, not haughty; kind, not surly; tidy, not unkempt; sympathetic, not belligerent.

oldcrowwoman

OMG

The rules don't apply to me. A woman who loves a woman does 'nt have to justify and be in subjection . Equal opportunity~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

I remember this subjection thing with my ex-husb. He would try to be romatic and quote the bible say womens breast were like pomergrants(sp).~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.I wanted to throw up

Thank god I been there and done that~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OCW

98

Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

by Big Tex in

first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

oldcrowwoman

BIG TEX with A BIG HEART

I admire your strength and courage to stand up in sharing your story. I am sorry you were treated so badly. You did'nt deserve it. Makes me angry. They had no right to do such things to a little boy.

By your presences is allowing doors to be opened for others. I am proud of you!!!

That was a gift your wife asking you. It opened the door for you to begin your journey. Gifts are not always painless.

I've done extensive therapy with abuse issues. Just recently I seen relatives I have'nt seen for years. A relative wants to get together with me soon. I've always liked her. This gives me a opportunity to ask this question thats been nagging ever since I was a child and into adulthood. It's a little scarey and to allow myself to feel vulnerable with her. I need to take the risk. And maybe she does'nt know? It's one of few pieces left of my puzzle.

You are a asset here!!!

All the Best, OCW

42

Nicknames

by Aztec in

jw
friends

sorry if this has been brought up before (and i'm sure it has) but what are your nicknames?

what people nickname you can be very telling about your personality and it's funny that they sometimes become more a part of you than your given name.. i have a long list of them..lol!.

when i was a kid: carrie canary (cause i walked around singing all the time).

oldcrowwoman

Thanks Aztec

I like these less STRESS threads. It helps to bring some of the old memories that have been hidden for awhile. Don't have to deal with you are wrong or I am right thread. As a 50 some year old somehow its not important~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~after awhile.!!!!!!

When in grade school I would be called Hairy Kari. Kari was my maiden name. They thought it was so funny~~~~~~~~I personally did'nt see the humor in it.

In H.S was called Cuds. Because I chewed gum alot.

When I was married his name LeRoy Brown. When writing a check the clerks would laugh and start singing LeRoy Brown the meanst man in town!! Blah, Blah, Blah!!! I was internally grateful to have his name removed from checking.

At times I would be in group of people with several name Kathi's. I would be called KB.

When I worked as a Machinist in a sheet metal shop I would be called Brown cow kathi brown. Whatever!! Male dominated shop!!!

Now in the ER I am called KB, downtown kathi brown or ER Fairy!!!!!!

A women of many hats OCW

52

Single and Happy

by RubyTuesday in

can people be single and happy?

the older i get the more i believe that being single is the way to go.there are so many advantages.just to name a few;.

you can finish that college degree, go to the neighborhood bar anytime, do charity work, join a night class, stay out all night, flirt with anybody you please.

oldcrowwoman

Yeah I am single and happy. Back in time I had a hard time being with me. After coming out of dysfunction in my life it took alot of internal work and internal struggle to be at home with myself. And for a long time I ran as fast I could so I would"nt have to be me. That get's wearing and eventually run out of gas. And I probably would get into trouble with myself.

The other night I was talking to a good friend. She is single too. I said you know what I need is to have someone come behind me to let me know I left 2 smoothies out on the counter from grocery shopping the night before and sat on counter overnight. I am experiencing silver moments pretty regular lately

She says honey taken up with another is'nt the way to go. She said I should call a friend and to say I am going to go grocery shopping. They would call you later saying the about grocery shopping. I thought that was very creative. So I can grow old with self!!! LOL LOL Actually I mean grow older~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I do love my freedom and value it. After being in a domestic abuse relationship. I won't sell my soul to another. Chersish my free spirit~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happiness comes within. No one else is going to fill it.

OCW

24

How Many Do YOU Know That Were Molested?

by minimus in

the watchtower society has had much deserved bad publicity for their policies on child molestation.

some suggest that this occurrence is no different than other religions.

actually, i have known about 10 persons that have been sexually molested by a relative.

oldcrowwoman

I know of 13 jw's who have been sexually abused.

When I went through treatment for alcoholism were told one out of six is sexually abused. Thats including male and female.

OCW