Posts by EarthyFire

8

A new sister in law is a JW, I'm an ex JW, need advice

by EarthyFire in

i really need some help here and i might go a lil over the place so bear with me.

my mother in law is religious, christian but i'm not sure what kind.

i am an exjw, left years ago.

EarthyFire

I really need some help here and I might go a lil over the place so bear with me.

My mother in law is religious, Christian but I'm not sure what kind. I am an exJW, left years ago. She sees the family treatment I get and doesn't approve but doesn't get it. She thinks my family is an exception to the rule in their shunning of me (further explained in next paragraph) and she feels they are just like other faiths that let people have the right of choice. When she asks me things I tend to get too emotional, I'd like to be more factual so I can show her why I think the JW's aren't good without sounding like it's personal bitterness, when you lose your family it's hard to not sound bitter isn't it.

Enter my new sister in law, let's call her J. My brother in law started dating this girl a few months ago, she was disfellowshipped at the time, they ended up getting married. My husband thinks his brother is under the impression that they are just like us but they aren't. For one thing I was never disfellowshipped, I choose to leave based on the hypocrisy of the religion. My family isn't happy but I've made my choice clear so they are now at the point, some of them, of just accepting it. The others in my family have chosen to cut me out permanently and I'm forbidden from contacting them. I know this might not sound nice or PC of me but I feel my choice to leave was an honourable/moral one, mature and well thought out. J was disfellowshipped for being unremoreseful over dating a non-JW and she seems to not care that she broke the rules. Now I don't agree with their rules but to show my disagreement I left, I didn't just break them and then thumb my nose without committing to separate myself.

Anyway end result with J now is that she's claimed to my MIL that the JW stuff is all personal choice, she said once she and my bro in law got married she would rejoin the religion just for her parents sake but doesn't personally buy into it anymore. Coincidentally she is now in a different congregation in one area and her parents in a new one elsewhere...personal choice?? To me this shows deception and hypocrisy, the things I was so disgusted with that I forfeit my family when I stood against them. It's disgusting and honestly I want to have nothing to do with my sister in law at all. My husband tried to talk reason to his bro but the twit wouldn't listen, we tried explaining what he was in for and the general response was "we will ignore them" or "oh well." Very mature don't ya think!??!

I may be going to my in laws this holiday which I'm looking forward to because I haven't seen them in a long time and I do love my inlaws (most of them lol). But I am worried they are going to invite J over and that would really ruin my holiday, I'm actually considering leaving because it wouldn't be right of me to tell my mil who she can or can't invite over.

So here's what I'm asking for:
1- advice on how to communicated to my mil what the JW's really are about while lil missJ sits there telling her the opposite (I'm almost 30 & have been in this family for 10 years now so you'd think I'd be the trusted source, J is only 19 and been in for 6 or so months but she also lives closer and sees my mil more)
2- how to deal with sister in law J in general (personally I'd opt for ignoring her)
3- how to handle events where we may be together like holidays Any other input is appreciated.

22

June 11, 2007 Macleans article re. ex-JW support group in Toronto

by kwintestal in

just a one-page article on an ex-jw support group in toronto.

macleans is canada's version of "time" with a large circulation.

it's also the magazine that did the large article on the septuplets.

EarthyFire

Thanks so much for posting this!! Some members of my group were wondering if this was about them and now I'm wondering the same thing. A few of them got together back in April I believe in the basement of a library.

I run a small yahoo group of Canadian ex-JW's http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/CanXJW and we encourage people in the same area to connect in person. There's so many of us out there so why not?! I've not found anyone in my area to connect with but I hope I will one day.

~Corrinna

7

JW Grandma Sentenced For Dog Attack Death of Granddaughter

by ValiantBoy in

jw
friends

woman sentenced in dog attack case.

by heather leskanic .

the clarion county resident was ordered to serve six days in jail in connection with the death of her granddaughter.. clarion - a 62-year-old lucinda area woman was sentenced wednesday for her negligent conduct related to the 2003 dog-mauling death of her young granddaughter.

EarthyFire

That article left a stale taste in my mouth! Since everyone else pretty much said what I feel so I'm gonna go off on something different lol...

Hundertmark said his client continues to have the support of her religious community - the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses.
"Those members have been supportive of her," he said.

Now this I really get a kick out of! I was beaten by my father, did the cong support me? No...my mom was persecuted on a legal matter against another witness, did the cong support her? No....I could go on with more horrific examples and more tame ones but you get the idea. So what have we learned today? The cong supports who? Negligent murderers?? Well I guess if they support child molesters and rapists then that can't really be a surprise can it. I never once saw support from any cong I was in, not even when I asked for it. This speaks highly for them & makes a great impression, I can't imagine anyone with 1/2 a brain reading that article and thinking 'that poor grandma..ohh what evil parents to seek more time!'

Hmmm...I need more coffee, think I'm gonna be up awhile longer tonight lol.

7

Salvation on eBay lol

by EarthyFire in

jw
friends

how about this for ya!

jw litrature now on ebay!!!

ebay.ca has a few listings today of all kinds of jw litrature from a user named ministry_ideaz.

EarthyFire

Opps sorry...well here's better, they have a site http://www.ministryideaz.com/?source=eBay

And this is from their ebay about me page

"Ministry Ideaz is a family run business out of Quito, Ecuador.

Greg and Jade Holland (proprietors) are Canadians who have served in the ministry in Ecuador since 1993. We were both raised as Jehovah's Witnesses. Greg is originally from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada). Jade is originally from Winnipeg, Manitoba (Canada). We are NOT "missionaries" (i.e. Gilead graduates) but "Need Greaters." This means we have come here with our own resources to help out. We wish to point this out as a few have been confused wondering why we're working if we serve in a foreign field.

Ministry Ideaz feeds the local Ecuadorian economy, while helping the Holland family stay in their most important career, the Christian ministry. Our website provides us with a bit of "diversion" and some supplemental income, although our main business is Web and graphics design, translation and web hosting: "http://ideaz.net" "

7

Salvation on eBay lol

by EarthyFire in

jw
friends

how about this for ya!

jw litrature now on ebay!!!

ebay.ca has a few listings today of all kinds of jw litrature from a user named ministry_ideaz.

EarthyFire

How about this for ya! JW litrature now on ebay!!! Ebay.ca has a few listings today of all kinds of JW litrature from a user named ministry_ideaz. Now yeah Im an ex JW, been out for awhile and lit used to be donations, but dosn't it seem wrong...like is this person personaly profiting here or what??

Curious? Check it out here..

http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=16710&item=2985500783

~EarthyFire

What a cwazy cwazy world

14

My mother (coldhearted JW she is)

by YellowLab in

this is really bothering me, and i have a need to vent.

is it normal for grandparents to not take an active interest in their grandchildren?

my mother is still a dub, and i faded away about seven years ago.

EarthyFire

Hi Yellow,

When I read your post my first thought was 'wow your mom calls you?!!' lol. I lfet the org when I was 17 or so, Im now 24. My hubby and I had our daughter 2001 and she was special for both sides of the family because 1.she was the first baby born in at least 7 years, 2. she is the FIRST GREAT grandbaby, the first of our generation within our families. My husband is eldest of 3 boys, Im middle of 3 girls, and both of us have at least one sibbling who will never have children or at least give birth. In my family there was the additional factor that the last one to give birth (my aunt) died moments after her child was born.

When I was pregnant we talked a bit but for the most part my family dosn't call me. I have to email the ones who are still JWs when we are planning a trip near where they live, and I have to make all the arrangements. I think my father & grandparents liked seeing her and did fall in love with her, but involved they are totaly not. My other JW family, aunts ect and other grandmother, have flatly refused to see her, which makes me so mad. She did nothing wrong to them. But I figure my daughter is all the better for their lack of attention. She has lots of family that my husband and I have made for her, close friends and a few family members. I do wish my father and grandparents would all try a little more, but I'm the one who has to do it....not that I have to but I choose to, I send them pics and updates and will keep doing so till they ask me to stop. I don't feel I have the right to deny them from my daughter but I'm also not as low as them to just turn my back on them like they have me. It hurts tho, and I don't think that hurt ever goes away, you just get better at coping with it.

I don't even know if my family has told others about the new addition, I would like to think my dad shows off her pic, saying proudly that his granddaughter, but I doubt it. I was the biggest disappointment in his life so I don't think he would show off my proudest achievement. I'm just glad my husband and I love our child enought that we make up for the love her other family denies her.

~EarthyFire

PS- Going out!!??!! WOW lol. I've not been away from my daughter since she's been born lol she is now 19 months old. I'd love to have a lil adult time lol but we are way to critical about who we leave her with and there's prlly a list of only 5 ppl we trust lol the nearst lives about 1 1/2 hrs away lol. Lucky ppl who get to go out

4

Canada-N.B.-N.S-Ontario

by EarthyFire in

i have a bad memory of exact years & cong names but i'm pretty sure my family name would ring a bell with a lot of ppl who might have been from these areas, my father (who i'm estranged from, he's still a jw) is a lawyer, he started in n.b.

and then we moved to ontario so he could work with bethel, mostly on the blood cases.

n.s.- halifax & dartmouth- i spent summers there growing up and can't remember the exact congs we visited....my 2 aunts who later married lived there and my grandparents my sister also lived with my aunt & uncle for a few years.

EarthyFire

I have a bad memory of exact years & cong names but I'm pretty sure my family name would ring a bell with a lot of ppl who might have been from these areas, my father (who I'm estranged from, he's still a JW) is a lawyer, he started in N.B. and then we moved to Ontario so he could work with Bethel, mostly on the blood cases.

N.S.- Halifax & Dartmouth- I spent summers there growing up and can't remember the exact congs we visited....my 2 aunts who later married lived there and my grandparents My sister also lived with my aunt & uncle for a few years.

N.B.- Fredericton- I forget the cong name & exact years but it was in the 80's. I do remember ppl tho. Before Fredericton (we moved there when I was 4) we lived in Moncton & Saint John, but since I was super young then I wouldn't remember anyone from there prolly. My cousin was Joshua Walker, semi-famous blood case, my father fought his medical case.

Ontario- Georgetown cong, we went to the hall right in the bethel complex for awhile. Then got our own hall in Erin, Ont.

I'm basically looking to hook up with anyone who remembers me. :) I've been pretty much alone since I left, being the first to go, then my mom and older sis followed, but the rest of the family are still JW's so we are naturally ignored. I am 24 & live in Que now, my sis and mom are in Ontario. Anyway, if any thing seems to click with you feel free to email me. :) I always look forward to hearing from others who have broken free. I've removed the names here but I will give them out via email.

~EarthyFire

Edited by - EarthyFire on 15 January 2003 12:59:15

11

Squamish, Vancouver, Halifax, Parksville, Scarbor

by happysunshine in

squamish, vancouver, halifax, parksville, scarborough.

any connections with congregations in these areas drop me a line.

i've been associated with them in the past.

EarthyFire

My grandparents & aunts lived in Halifax & my sister and I spent many summers there growing up. My aunts were both married in congs in Halifax and one aunt later went to a Dartmouth cong. The 2 congragations Scully mentioned ring a bell with me. My grandparents last lived in Spryfield, not sure if that is its own cong or not...I was young. My older sister also went to live with my aunt for a few years & was in one of thoes congragations. Feel free to email me if you want me to share some names that you might know. :)

~EarthyFire

Edited by - EarthyFire on 13 January 2003 23:38:4

32

WT tolerating alcoholism?

by Smiles in

does the wt and jw big boys tolerate alcoholism among themselves?.

alcohol is very popular among jw heavy-weights and their wives.

ask any bethelite.

EarthyFire

Well my mother was an alcholic when I was growing up & when the elders came over to the house about that issue & the one of abuse I never heard them say it was wrong OR suggest she seek out help for her addiction. So their silance to me is a stamp of approval. Also my grandmother was a bit of a lush & her husband was an elder. Come to think of it I think many women in my family and some of our congragations had a problem with drinking. Intresting....

EarthyFire

6

I found out that a pedophile was among us

by stichione in

jw
friends

today i found out that in our congregation a married man was accused by his nephew (not a jw) of pedophile acts commited over 10 years ago.

the accusation came out only two years ago when the nephew grew up.

the grandmother of this youngster (mother-in-law of the accused) approached the elders of her congregation with this information.

EarthyFire

Its kind of funny don't you think that when people are disfellowshipped or disassoiciated that there is this sense of urgancy & duty to announce it to the congragation (in my case, Im not sure if this is standard procedure or not, they also announced it to any other congragations my family was a part of) however when there is someone accused of a sexual crime they find no need to warn others. Really I find it hard to believe that I am more of a preditor being DA then someone who has comitted a sexual crime.

Guess its just another obvious show of how warped the procedures are.

~EarthyFire