James Mixon
and neat blue dog..and others,
It looks
like many of us are in the 70 ties. My story is very similar to many of yours.
I was an elder, with big doubt’s. But I kept on holding speeches, sheep herding
, smiling, doing the service. Studding with my family..this until I totally
mentally collapsed. Doctor told me I must “no man can under a longer time keep
up with so many missions” it will end in a catastrophe! So I resigned “temporarily” , as un elder,
and started to fade…. Missed meetings, slowed down service hours, all with
regard to my situation. But my doubts grow. The more time you release for your
own thinking, the more you realize the impossibility of soc. teaching. During a
period of five years I got 4 hart strokes. This definitively stopped me attending
any meeting at all. What a relief. No
more high blood pressure..
Today I
spend 2 hours daily obligatory walking in e nearby forests. I count my eagles,
my foxes, my moose. Then home, and then spend 2 hours of reading from
historical literature, that I can obtain from a nearby university. I have spent
3 years of university studies within the fields of History of Ideas and science.
Philosophy and history, exactly the subjects that the socs. thinks no witness
should pay any attention to….(I do understand that know)
But I got
my peace in mind, no more hart attacks, no more depression, no mental collaps……but
I also got free from a mind prison that unfortunately my wife still is in…
and I don´t need no sleeping pills anylonger