Posts by herself

29

What is the worst.....?

by teenyuck in

jw
friends

name you could call an old, bitter, hateful, ungrateful, sour woman?

i need some options when i next speak to my mother-in-law...

Wouldn't you rather do what is best for yourself and family? The thing you can do to look good in contast to her is to not drop to her level, but to smile at her and tell her, firmly, but kindly, that you don't agree and won't accept that you deserve bad treatment from anyone, including family members. Or whatever the problem is.

My MIL spent many years trying to discredit me, trying to ruin my marriage. She was the MIL from hell. She was cruel and hateful to me, never giving me an inch. I fought back and made myself look bad when I was young. As I aged, I didn't want to fight anymore, didn't want to deal with it, so I started staying away. That enraged her even more, believe it or not. I believe that I was the person she was using as her whipping boy. If she was mad at anyone, she'd turn that anger on me, her son's wife.

When I wouldn't accept the treatment any more, she went on the offensive just horribly. But I found I just didn't care anymore. My husband didn't like her behavior, because she was trying to talk him into leaving me. So, he stayed away too, which made it even worse in that her gossip became horrible, just horrible.

She was the MIL from hell and created more bad memories for our children than she did good. None of them remember her fondly.

So, my advice. Remain cool and aloof and let her hang herself with her own behavior. Believe me, that will be far "worse" for her than if you fight back. People who are constantly brewing up fights just hate it when the object of their hatred won't fight. Drives 'em nuts.

H.S.

31

Home Schooling

by hippikon in

jw
friends

what are your thoughts on home schooling?

we had a few in one congregation i was in that practiced home schooling for their kids.

i kina think home schooling is isolationists and for loons.

herself

Home schooling, like anything, must be done with balance. It is a wonderful thing in my opinion. But it can't be done in a way to isolate the child from other children.

I've known several people who have home schooled and it was very successful. They made sure the kids got a well rounded early education, provided lessons in some sport or activity where they were with other kids. One of my friends got her son Karate lessons, another got her son fencing lessons, and another put her daughter into soccer, and another put both of her children into ballet lessons. All of these children were given choices, so they got to learn what really excited them.

They had the additional advantage of many field trips to museums and sites of interest.

Of course the parent who home schools must have an idea of what learning is about, and recognize that a well rounded child means having a well rounded education and a variety of experiences. It can be done, and done a lot better than public schools.

Unfortunately, JW parents too often use home schooling as a means to isolate their children from the "world" and those children develope an emotional handicap.

Don't cast away home schooling out of hand too fast. It's a terrific thing if done well.

H.S.

4

Kansas City

by musicatto in

jw
friends

anyone in the kansas city area, please send me an email,.

gary.

[email protected].

herself

Excuse me, I did not mean my question "Why?" to be taken as a negative remark. I wanted to know why he wants to be contacted. I'm sure he or she is just fine, but would like to explain my experience and why I am reserved about writing to someone cold like that, without knowing more.

I was on a yahoo club a couple of years back for Ex-JWs. A note appeared similar to that, requesting that people in the area write. I wrote. For months afterwards I kept getting letters about being born-again. The person got more and more pointed about accepting his particular brand of Christianity. I am Christian, but not his brand. He eventually got rather aggressive about it, and started making me very nervous. He finally told me that my behavior was reprehensible. His request for people in a particular area to write to him meant that anyone who wrote to him probably lived in his general area.

When he first started out, he seemed so innocent and wanted to meet me for lunch to "talk." By the end of it, he was angry, and I was relieved I had not gone to meet him or let him know exactly what town I lived in.

So, I'm not going to contact someone who requests contact without a reasonable explanation as to why they want to be contacted, especially when it is in my general area of the country. I imagine Musicatto is fine. But that one experience made me SO uncomfortable that I am not likely to follow that same means of contact again without knowing more.

H.S.

21

Did U hurt someone because of JW rules?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i know we all make mistakes but did you ever really hurt someone while you were a jw, because of sticking to their darn rules?

did you ever, even as it was happening, feel selfrighteous?.

it is something that i have been thru over and over in my head and i have forgiven myself for it, but i can never make it right with the person i hurt.. my dad was an elder , very self righteous, he taught me well, i did what ever he said and acted the way he told me too.

herself

Yes, I did. I don't want to talk about it, but I did, and I'm ashamed of it. Foot stompin', head banging, hair pulling ashamed. I hate some of the things I did. I can't believe I did and said some of those things.

All I can do is hope I'm forgiven.

H.S

4

Kansas City

by musicatto in

jw
friends

anyone in the kansas city area, please send me an email,.

gary.

[email protected].

herself

Why?

H.S.

24

What the WT took from me.. is it gone 4ever?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i was raised jw, so i have nothing to go back to as far as belief.

the wt has been exposed to me as nothing but a bunch of lies, coverups, failed predictions, interpreting the bible to fit their teachings etc.

now i stand here,,,,,,,,,,,, with no belief system at all.

herself

It took me a long, long time to trust enough to believe anything. I guess I maintained some kind of belief in God, but that was all. I didn't have a "system" to engage my time in worship.

Today I do, and it doesn't matter which one it is really. I could have gone any number of directions.

I found the "trick" to it was to not worry about finding exact truth. There's no way to know for sure. I trust that things are as they should be, I am ever vigilant about what my religion teaches, making sure I don't buy anything blindly, and I joined a religion that doesn't get on my case for questioning and questioning hard, or for having beliefs that aren't exactly theirs. I don't have to explain to anyone, and never get questioned. They aren't looking for people to kick out.

Keep it personal for as long as you need. Don't be hard on yourself. Don't expect that you'll find ANY religion that you will be able to buy into 100%. You need to be able to think for yourself.

Enjoy your life.

H.S.

27

WBTS/Demons/Ketchup Song. Any References?

by SpannerintheWorks in

jw
friends

.

does anybody have any wbts literature references where it is stated that the "ketchup song" contains "demonic influences".. an ex-jw friend of mine has heard that the wbts has stated this, and it would be very useful it have it confirmed.. thanks.. .

spanner

herself

Oh heck, this is one of those songs that a lot of religious groups are accusing of being Satanic. It isn't just the WTBS. People are prone to seeing evil in everything, music being a prime place. Can't find evil in a song? Play it backwards. Still can't find it? Then just declare it to be so seductive that Satan will get you if you listen to it.

It gets ridiculous. I can't imagine this is any worse than kids playing some rap song with the F word blaring out their car window, as though they are cool. :lol

H.S.

4

hope for the uglies and the stupids.

by Carlo in

jw
friends

i think there is hope for the uglies and the stupids.. someone here pointed to place on facetransplants.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2516181.stm.

but what does it help to have a nice appearence when the brain isn't what it should be.

herself

One future candidate for the face transplant is a teenage girl who was a burn victim. Pretty little thing before the fire. It probably has its valid uses.

H.S.

55

WT goofie phrases.

by Pepper in

jw
friends

i used to get into trouble for making light of the these phrases that some elders have told me are to be used only gods people.

lol that you all may know maybe:.

"well, brother that is very "commendable," just before the meeting ends the po says to those in attendance "brothers the time left is reduced," i once heard a co say to those seated during one of his talks "well now, we don't want to die at armageddon now do we, well of course not.

herself

I'm still laughing about the hair on the teenager's upper lip getting him into the new system. LOL

"Spiritally weak"

"Spiritually low."

"I hope sister so and so is listening to this talk."

Oh and that "ones" thing bugged the hell outta me and still does. Those ones who believe...... yadda yadda yadda. Why not just say "Those who believe?" Where did that "ones" thing come from anyway? Oh excuse me, that was wording for God's people.

And what's with that thing about the words from the platform come from God? HUH? Does God screw up? I don't think so.

H.S.

30

Upset

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

i am like an emotional screw up.

i am like a 17 year old with no ability to take harsh words in.

they upset me.

herself

I don't see how you can be letting your biological Grandmother down by going to her party. How is that letting her down? Because you have to leave at some point? This isn't the grandmother who sat up nights with you when you had bronchitis is it? This is one that has not been in your life for some time and wants to welcome you. But the bond is weak at best right now, and they'll be wise to not get grasping with you.

Did he say you are insenitive? Or did he say you are being insensitive? there's a difference. One is labeling who you are, the other is suggesting that you could handle it better. One is a better way of speech than the other. But either way, I don't think you are being insensitive to be there for her B Day and then to leave and go be with your friend.

Controlling people are very difficult and often wind up alone, wondering what the heck happened. If these are controlling people, then you are in line for some difficult times. Keep the reins in on your own life, conduct yourself like a lady at all times when with them, be classy in your manner with them, and do what you need to do, when you need to do it. Don't allow anyone to manipulate you.

Try to enjoy them on whatever terms work for you, and remember that you have had a life apart from them too. You'll be okay.

H.S.