How did it come about that we realized something wasn't right and others don't? What makes us so special? lol I have felt it for a good 10+ years but hung in there for my husband and children. I talked with him about it openly since the beginning of my doubts and am so thankful he finally started to investigate along with me into everything. But why us? I know there are others that are ten times brighter and cannier than we are! Why don't they get it???
scaredyetresolved
JoinedPosts by scaredyetresolved
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So why us?
by scaredyetresolved inhow did it come about that we realized something wasn't right and others don't?
what makes us so special?
lol i have felt it for a good 10+ years but hung in there for my husband and children.
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Update since yesterday...
by scaredyetresolved ini shared the board with my husband last night.
he read my post and the replies.
we both really appreciate all of your words.
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scaredyetresolved
Freedom, Thanks sooo much for the advice on making it known that we are not leaving friendships or family, we are only leaving the Organization. Wow. VERY important point we will want to make sure to include. Again, THANK YOU!
ROTFLOL LB! I was just doing all my couponing and going through the sales ads for shopping this weekend. I am a true bargain hound, frugal being my middle name. As I was scanning the ads and noticing the sales on Christmas decor, I thought what a great idea it would be to go grab a bunch at the day after Christmas sales, then I come read your reply! Great minds think alike!
Jerry, Don't know if we have things under control so much as we just have a game-plan. Thanks for your support and the encouragement to stick around.
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Update since yesterday...
by scaredyetresolved ini shared the board with my husband last night.
he read my post and the replies.
we both really appreciate all of your words.
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scaredyetresolved
I shared the board with my husband last night. He read my post and the replies. We both really appreciate all of your words. We also both appreciated the point made that said something to the affect of, when using the boards, to take what we need and leave the rest. That is what we did.
My husband and I, along with our one child that is baptised, all feel strongly that we will most likely disassociate ourselves in the near future. None of us feel like doing any pretending. We've done that for far too long and anything that is even remotely similar to a lie is not the way we want to live our lives. We want to live in truth and love, with our heads held high. We also don't want to leave with anger being our main emotion. I think we just want to feel pity for those that are still entrapped and hope they soon will come to their senses.
Why disassociate rather than disfellowship? Because we feel WE will be making our stand loud and clear. That is important to us. We do NOT want to give anyone else the power to make the decision that we need to be separated from the Organization for us, like through the elders deciding we need to be disfellowshipped. We know if we present all the info that has helped us to make our decision, it won't get read, so we aren't going to include it. Just a very short letter to the point ("After an in-depth study of the Watchtower Societys history and its development..."). We want to be able to get on with our lives and do whatever we end up doing without feeling it needs to be done in secrecy or the wondering if we will get "caught". I hope this makes sense! If someone in our family or circle of friends insists on reasons why, we will be happy to meet with them and present the facts. Otherwise, we are going to request "live and let live."
I will let you know what is going on with all of this when I can. Right now we are waiting until after the holidays and after we give ourselves a bit of time to digest everything. We aren't going to observe Christmas this year, but we are going to have a late birthday party for our littlest one this weekend. We set a budget last night and will be going to buy all the presents and decorations this evening. When I asked the little one about if they'd like a birthday party, they replied they wanted a Scooby Doo cake with candles on it and we sing "Happy Birthday"! So that's what they'll get. Scooby Doo all the way! This all feels so good and so right. We'll just be glad when the rest of the family/friends know and we can have that one last weight off our shoulders!
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Home Schooling
by hippikon inwhat are your thoughts on home schooling?
we had a few in one congregation i was in that practiced home schooling for their kids.
i kina think home schooling is isolationists and for loons.
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scaredyetresolved
I don't have time to read all the replies because I have to get busy with the kids since we do homeschool. (Was just checking to see if there were any more replies to my posts from yesterday and to post an update.) BUT, I will say that when we started to homeschool, we were the first in our congregation to do so and it was not met with much acceptance. Even after YEARS of homeschooling (and having our kids be among the brightest), when we left to move out of state, we were still only one of two families that homeschooled. We had a congregation filled with children and we got flamed all the time for our choice in education.
My personal view on this matter is that we should be thankful that everyone has freedom of choice in regards to how to educate their children. What a blessing! Public school, private school, boarding school, home school. Schools that wear uniforms, schools that don't. Schools that teach about God, schools that don't. Schools where the parents can be involved 0%, 20%, 100%... I am so thankful that everyone has the right to choose what is best for their family...for themselves, for their children, and even for each child! Some children flourish in a homeschool setting, and some don't. Some children flourish in a public school setting, and some don't. Our children are flourishing and we love being together! We love the one-on-one instruction. Our kids have all attended public school (health problems for a year that kept us from being able to teach them) and when we moved, their first demand was, "Just as long as we keep homeschooling!" When they found out their daddy and I were likely going to leave the Organization, their emphatic reply was, "We are still homeschooling though!" They don't want to go back to public school any more than we want to send them.
Social skills? Our kids do excellent in that area. If you question this topic about homeschoolers, research it. All the data and the answers regarding "What about homeschooling and social skills" will knock your socks off. It's a pretty silly thing to question once you truly understand it. If you can point to some homeschooled children that have pathetic social skills, I bet I could point out plenty of public schooled children that have the same limitations. Since we are no longer going to be going to meetings, in service, the witness gatherings, etc...it's now going to be our responsibility to find alternative things for our children to be active in and we are all really excited at the prospect. Already the kids are talking about gymnastics, music lessons, getting involved with the huge county homeschool group here, etc. EVEN COLLEGE!!!
So that's my 2-cents worth. We love it and we ain't changin' a thang!
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Thank you for your replies!
by scaredyetresolved ini told my husband last week that i didn't plan on going to chats or forums.
we've been trying very hard to stay on neutral ground.
we began by just researching all the history of jws and turning to the publications published by the society, to either back the history we were reading, or to dispel it.
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scaredyetresolved
I put numerous things in quotes, but the quotation marks don't appear. How can I solve this for future posts? Thanks!
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Thank you for your replies!
by scaredyetresolved ini told my husband last week that i didn't plan on going to chats or forums.
we've been trying very hard to stay on neutral ground.
we began by just researching all the history of jws and turning to the publications published by the society, to either back the history we were reading, or to dispel it.
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scaredyetresolved
I told my husband last week that I didn't plan on going to chats or forums. We've been trying very hard to stay on neutral ground. We began by just researching all the history of JWs and turning to the publications published by the Society, to either back the history we were reading, or to dispel it. So far we have not found one quote in all the information we've come across that is not correct to the letter. Several of the sites we have read are Watchtower Observer (which I cant access for the past couple dayswonder why?), Beyond Jehovahs Witnesses, and Watchman. We have devoured the information presented and have realized how in the dark weve been all our lives.
Today I woke feeling a need to reach out to others that are going through, or have been through, what we are experiencing. It is the scariest thing we've ever faced in our entire lives, yet we feel the need to do this!
I have so much I could share with all of you...I just dont know where to begin. Im also afraid that if I share too much info with you, I could be traced by someone watching this site and something could happen to me or my family! Isnt that pathetic?! So I guess for now I will try to keep all my info pretty un-specific, yet specific enough for you to understand our story...
Hubby and I have both been raised in the truth. We both have several generations of witnesses on both sides. Almost everyone in our very large family are in the truth and especially everyone we know and are close toparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparentsyou get the picture. Weve never made friends outside our faith. We have been raising our children the same way. They are from preschool age to teenage (large family here!), and they do not attend public school (which none of us here want to dowe love our home-schooling!). Most of the Brothers in our family serve as P.O.s, elders, servants, pioneers, and some of the Sisters serve as Pioneers.
I guess what is the most difficult thing is knowing that if we take a stand, we will most likely be cut off from everyone we know. We are living in a new state and dont know many here yet. We dont have a lot of close ties with anyone really and that is good. (Just wish we'd known what we know now when we first moved here...we wouldn't have started at the new congregation!) We definitely won't be making any other moves because we love our new home.
What hurts so much and is so scary is we KNOW that we will be making a well-informed stand based on truthful, factual information. If it were any other religion that had done the things weve learned is in "our" history, we as JWs would be really raking them over the coals for it, saying how glad we are not to be a part of such things, and how dumb the people involved are for not getting out. But our family members wont see it that way.
We still aren't sure what we are going to do. It would be very, very difficult to just fade considering our circumstances. There are too many Theocratic conversations and we also dont want any family members to continue to discuss spiritual matters with our children. I guess we want a policy of, You dont try to bend us your way, we wont try to bend you ours. My hubby said the other night something that shocked me since he is the one that has fought against my doubts for many years and he is the one to have been raised in an even more strict JW household than myself. He said he doesnt see how we can do this without disassociating ourselves. He also said he does not ever, ever want to go through being disfellowshipped. I was physically sick the rest of the night! And I'M the one that has always wanted to leave!
I want to know, if we make a stand that we do not want to continue to attend meetings, go in service, etc. and we begin to observe secular holidays, etcwould we be disfellowshipped or would we be left alone to do our own thing as long as we keep ourselves completely separate from the congregation??? Hubby says that we would be dfd and that is why he wants to disassociate. He also wants to give it a few months before we do anything final.
Goodness, Im rambling! I'm so sorry. It just feels good to get this all out and know someone will be reading it...that it's not some big secret I can't share with SOMEONE! haha Thank you again for your posts and emails. I would really like to try to reply to each of you individually via email or post. I will try hard to do so, but remember I have a large family here that needs my constant attention 24/7 it seems!
BTW, One of the things I cant wait to share with my husband this evening is JTs story. Thank you so much for sharing that with me.
Love and Hugs
P.S. I am in the U.S.
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Where do I go for support???
by scaredyetresolved ini would love some support since i am scared and confused, but i don't know where to turn.
my husband and i are both having our eyes opened wide after years of doubts.
we have finally read the "apostate literature" over the past few weeks and have checked and rechecked their sources.
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scaredyetresolved
I would love some support since I am scared and confused, but I don't know where to turn. My husband and I are both having our eyes opened wide after years of doubts. We have finally read the "apostate literature" over the past few weeks and have checked and rechecked their sources. We are both wanting to completely seperate ourselves from organized religion, but we were both "raised in the truth" and have NOONE to turn to! We are also worried about our minor children since we want them to make the separation as well without feeling torn away from everyone they know and love. I have no doubt we are seeing the true light now and that we are wanting to do the right thing, but doing it is so difficult. How? When? What is going to happen? Also, we are considering observing secular holidays and beginning to start traditions in our family, but I don't even know how to begin! I feel like I was born this week and I have to learn how to walk, talk, and even feel all over again. I am really aching inside for our kids. I should have put my foot down a long time ago when I felt that something was really wrong amongst the "organization." Can someone help me? I think I need to be taken under someone's wing and shown the way.