berylblue

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Posts by berylblue

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  13

  Dont Judge me before you know me!

  by Tron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well the international convention finished,.

  man am i releived,.

  i dont know how people could sit there for four days and listen to people preach all day.my hat is off(and sympathys)for those of you who had to go through this all your life,i just cant.i have been a leader making my own way in life without hurting anyone.. here is an experience i had today,.

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  berylblue

  Oh, gosh, Tron. I am truly sorry.

  Rosemarie
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  4

  Now I'm Not the Most Observant of Persons

  by berylblue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  but it seems to me that the jw apologists on this list rarely, if ever, contribute to a thread where a person is genuinely hurting.

  i have yet to see any loving assistance offered to anyone a wt apologist perceives as "apostate".

  i welcome correction if i'm wrong.

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  berylblue

  Oh, beautiful Lady Lee, I didn't mean it to be offensive....I meant the "evil apostates" are more loving than any Witnesses I ever knew. Perhaps it's the medium...the internet allows for more openess in many ways...just want to thank you all for being here for me.

  I meant that I've never seen Sword try to help anyone here....and I'm wondering if she has and I just missed it.
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  17

  Should I Call My Father???

  by L_A_Big_Dawg in

  1. social
  2. family

  my father shunned me and my kids around 1998. i was contacted about two weeks ago, my cousin called me.

  she was told by her mother that my father had a pace-maker implanted.

  my aunt was the one talking to my dad, and he asked about me and my kids.

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  berylblue

  I can understand your turmoil.

  A few years ago, I tried to ascertain if any of my siblings felt they were abused in any way by our father.

  I was met with, at best, icy non-acknowedgement. Although one sister said, "Well, you certainly do have all the signs of someone who was abused". Meaning problems with alcohol, bulimia, anorexia, self mutilation.

  I lived in turmoil and drank, threw up and self-mutilated a lot.

  For me, the answer was to let it rest. At least for now.

  Know that you will have support here whatever you decide.

  Rosemarie
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  4

  Now I'm Not the Most Observant of Persons

  by berylblue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  but it seems to me that the jw apologists on this list rarely, if ever, contribute to a thread where a person is genuinely hurting.

  i have yet to see any loving assistance offered to anyone a wt apologist perceives as "apostate".

  i welcome correction if i'm wrong.

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  berylblue

  But it seems to me that the JW apologists on this list rarely, if ever, contribute to a thread where a person is genuinely hurting. I have yet to see any loving assistance offered to anyone a WT apologist perceives as "apostate".

  I welcome correction if I'm wrong.

  To me, it is a very JW thing to ignore true human suffering and just focus on the WTS.

  I said it many times as a JW in good standing, "The hope of the New World is not the panacea for all that ails us now." A few Witnesses acknowledged that I was correct.

  I'm sorry. Kind of hyper tonight.

  In my experience, the Witnesses dangle the New World in front of persons in a very general way, but when it comes to one on one assistance, it isn't there. At least it wasn't for me.

  It is, ironically, available to me here.

  Rosemarie
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  16

  I'm Sorry

  by berylblue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i counted how many times i've said that today.

  as best i can remember, it's 15 times.. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make so much noise.".

  "i'm sorry, i didn't know you were on the phone, i would have stopped playing piano.".

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  berylblue

  Are you sure you aren't Canadian?

  Sorry, don't understand why you said that.
  

  What I'm trying to say is that I'm so very tired of apologizing for being alive, for inconveniencing people. I know it's wrong and immature to feel this way, but that's the way I was raised. Hell, I starved myself down to 67 pounds in order to be invisible. It worked. My parents didn't notice I'd lost half my body weight. A nun told them...See, I were invisible, that would be the ultimate apology. If I ceased to exist, I wouldn't annoy people anymore. That's the way I saw it.

  Anyway, this is leading in to...

  "Jehovah has chosen you. You are on the narrow road. Everyone else is on the road to destruction. You are special . You listened to Jehovah. Just play by the rules, Jehovah will love you. Just don't step out of line. Then you'll be special. Don't do anything you'll regret."

  And suddenly , I am saying "I am sorry" to the WTS when I do the wrong things, as well as everyone else, because I want to be special. I do all kinds of things I regret instantly. I do so want not to be invisble anymore, but I still No one sees me, but at least Jehovah did. He saw me, and he thinks I"m special."

  "The decision of the Judicial Committee is to disfellowship you."

  No matter how many times I said I'm sorry, I am now out. I am not special. I'm worse than invisible, I'm condemned. No matter how much I say I'm sorry. It doesn't matter. Because....

  Not only am I not special, I'm condemned to a terrible death at Armegeddon.

  Now I read Crisis of Conscience.

  I was never special in the first place.

  And I'm just terribly, terribly sorry.
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  16

  I'm Sorry

  by berylblue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i counted how many times i've said that today.

  as best i can remember, it's 15 times.. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make so much noise.".

  "i'm sorry, i didn't know you were on the phone, i would have stopped playing piano.".

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  berylblue

  "I'm sorry."

  I counted how many times I've said that today. As best I can remember, it's 15 times.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make so much noise."

  "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were on the phone, I would have stopped playing piano."

  "I'm sorry, Justin. I didn't know Dee was sleeping or I wouldn't have phoned."

  I'm sorry, ad nauseam, ad infinitum.

  (I'm sorry if I'm misuing those words.)

  What is there left to say about a woman who is so sorry about just being alive and inconveniencing people with her presence?
  
  It's rather pathetic.

  I'm sorry.
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  172

  HELP ME...

  by POOH in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i am posting this so that other jw will help me to figure out what i need to do.

  my husband was born and raised as a jehovahs witness.

  when we got married he never metioned it to me.

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  berylblue

  Welcome, Pooh and Northern Girl.
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  135

  On Blaming God...

  by AGuest in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  may you all have peace!

  i find it funny... as in peculiar... that from adam until today... "we"... get our kicks blaming god.

  starting with adam, who said, "the woman... that you gave me... she... made me... eat," we have this penchant to look everywhere but in the mirror.

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  berylblue

  ....

  ....

  ...

  On second thought, why bother.
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  36

  Not all JWs are paedophiles!

  by Brummie in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i read some reports (infact the majority) and they seem to imply all jws are paedophiles!

  seldom do they draw the distinction between the majority (who are not peds) and the few who are.

  perhaps we need to be more balanced when we comment on these things...dont cha think?.

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  berylblue

  the explanation of how the majority in China have no witness given but suffer destruction at Armageddon because of Community Responsibility

  Sorry to hijack the thread, but what the hell is the above? I'd like to think you're joking, but I suspect you are not. The WTS has decided that all the Chinese will die....WHY? I don't get it.

  Rosemarie
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  16

  Which Flame Warrior Are YOU?

  by SYN in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  this is one of the funniest sites in the universe...enjoy!.

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  berylblue

  Great post. I'm having a difficult time seeing myself in just one, however. Can anyone characterize me with one of these? I won't get upset....