HELP ME...

POOH

I AM POSTING THIS SO THAT OTHER JW WILL HELP ME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I NEED TO DO. MY HUSBAND WAS BORN AND RAISED AS A JEHOVAHS WITNESS. WHEN WE GOT MARRIED HE NEVER METIONED IT TO ME. HE JUST SAID HE WASNT RELIGOUS, HE WAS REBELING SEEING AS THOUGH WE WERE ONLY 18 WHEM WE MARRIED. WE JUST CELEBRATED OUR 6 YEAR ANNIVERSARY YESTERDAY. SO HE HASNT BEEN A JW FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS. FOR THE FIRST FIVE YRS WE NEVER DISCUSSED THAT PART OF HIS LIFE.HE ALWAYS SAID JWS WERE CRAZY. ANYWAY TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HE JUST TOLD ME HE COULD NO LONGER LIVE THIS WAY HE WANTED TO START GOING BACK TO THE KINGDOM HALL SO I SAID WHAT EVER MAKES YOU HAPPY ILL STAND BY YOU . WELL I WAS RASIED AS A BAPTIST . AND ALL MY FAMILY IS BAPTIST. I HAVE BEEN GOING TO THE KINGDOM HALL OFF AND ON FOR 6 MONTHS WITH HIM I ALSO STARTED AN AT HOME BIBLE STUDY. THERE ARE ALOT OF THINGS I JUST CANT UNDERSTAND BUT I GUESS IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN SIX MONTHS. MY PROBLEM IS THAT MY HUSBAND EXPECTS ME TO JUST ACCEPT ALL THESE CHANGES NO PROBLEM. BUT IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS I HAVE BASICALLY LOST MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND HAD MY WHOLE LIFE TURNED AROUND. WHAT SHOULD I DO????

Swan

Dear Pooh!

Welcome! You have some very difficult issues to deal with but there are many resources here to help you. Keep reading and posting and don't be discouraged. There are many others here who have mates that are JWs. They will probably be able to give you practicle examples that have worked for them. I wish you all the best in your search.

Tammy

czarofmischief

Oh, boy... wow, that's a tough gig.

First of all, JW's are wrong, completely and utterly wrong about most of the things they teach. Keep coming back to this site to learn more. Study 1975 for starters to learn how they use apocalyptic statements to attract and control followers.

Get your husband to come here and look up stuff like the UN / NGO debate, child abuse... these things will mean more to him than to you.

Don't let the cult isolate you from your family! Don't stop celebrating the holidays with them! The cult is a well-oiled machine at tearing you apart from your family! If your husband is hell-bent on going back, you'll need to be strong, very strong, to avoid getting sucked in.

Remember, all they want is to tell you exactly what to do all the time. Run away!

Get some books like Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz (you can get it on Amazon). He was a member of the WT's Governing Body and he got kicked out for having a different opinion on things.

I'm sure many others will have advice, but mostly, don't let the WT get between you and your life!

CZAR

jgnat

It sounds like your hubby was rejected by the organization at some point. Instead of dealing with the rejection and what might be wrong with the society, he has decided to go back. You are being a loyal wife to stand by his decision, whatever that might be.

MY PROBLEM IS THAT MY HUSBAND EXPECTS ME TO JUST ACCEPT ALL THESE CHANGES NO PROBLEM. BUT IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS I HAVE BASICALLY LOST MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND HAD MY WHOLE LIFE TURNED AROUND. WHAT SHOULD I DO????

I am wondering if your husband is showing the same loyalty and respect? You are right, he should not expect you do accept everything just because he has.

Who is forcing you to lose your family and friends? You have the freedom to continue to associate with those who are important to you. I would suggest you DO NOT cut yourself off from your supports. Continue to participate in family gatherings. Continue to visit your friends. Sit down with your husband and talk about where the two of you are heading.

Double Edge

I've never been a JW, but I think one of the things that impresses me about this site is the number of people here who have left the organization after being long time members, in otherwords, they knew their relgion forward and backwards and were able to question and find a way out. I think that might be important for your husband to know. This isn't just a disgruntle ex-jw site. These are real people, with real lives that took the time to question without guilt an important part of their life. You can also tell your husband that this site is made up of former JW "authority" figures.... anointed ones, elders, ministerial servants, pioneers, bethelites, etc., etc. ... that might lend credibility to him searching for the truth.

RAYZORBLADE

(((POOH))) I can tell that this has you feeling very upset and very worried. With good cause.

First off, welcome to the forum, and I'm glad you opened up and shared with us, what's happening with you. You probably came to the right place.

I suggest you firmly stand your ground my dear. He may join, which is quite possible, and the one thing the Jehovah's Witnesses are notorious for (get ready to gag) would be for you to not only join, but to be in submission to your husband. You no longer become an equal partner in the marraige, you become a permanent second, and maybe a third if you have a son.

There are people whom have visited this forum, with similar situations.

Keep coming here, type in some items into the Search via this forum, and you'll see stories, anecdotes, and suggestions that may be 'tried and true' methods of dealing with this situation.

Not sure how receptive your husband is regarding material that could perhaps sway him AWAY from going back, but how is he in these matters?

GOOD FOR YOU! that you find some of the things in the bible studies that you 'cannot understand'. You're right! They don't make sense, and the studies and manipulation of scripture and wording, can make a relatively sane person, almost mad.

Take tons of stuff from here, and if you are confident enough, present it to them.

Swallowing their bait, is potentially dangerous.

We are survivors, and if we can stop 1 more person from becoming a JW: we've been successful.

I'm glad you came here Pooh. Don't stop questioning, and read as much as you can.

Ray Franz' book apparently is one of the BEST!

Please keep us posted, will you? We are concerned.

Best wishes Pooh, do take care, and be strong, and don't waver.

StinkyPantz

Do you have children?

northern girl

You should be glad your husband is taking a stand for what he knows is right. If there is something you don't believe or understand, give it time. He has probably been living a lie since leaving the JWs and you are to be commended for studying too. Rome wasn't built in a day, so hang in there and just ask all the questions you want.

I would be very happy to be in such a position; I was df'd many years ago for smoking. I've quit smoking for nearly 2 years now but being reinstated requires attending meetings while everybody shuns you and I'm just not capable of accepting this treatment. Oh well ......

cruzanheart

Welcome, Pooh and Northern Girl!!! Hmmm, well, let's start with congratulations on six years of marriage, Pooh, and my, oh my, what a surprise he handed you! I think I would have preferred a nice ring or bracelet myself. Whatever you do, do not stop questioning. Remember that the God you are studying about gave you a brain and expects you to use it and not mindlessly follow the dictates of a bunch of imperfect men. In the Bible, the Beroeans listened to Paul and then looked it up in the Scriptures (NOT the Watchtower publications) to prove it to themselves.

Northern Girl, I'm glad you're here too. We are very nonjudgmental because most of us have been judged in one way or another and don't like it very much!

I was "raised in the truth" and believed it as wholeheartedly as any person can. When I saw how the organization treated my husband when he needed help, and then my children and my father (this was not a sudden thing -- I'm talking 15 years of abuse from many congregations and Brooklyn itself), culminating in my father's suicide this past February -- well, that caused me to walk out with a vow never to return. The God I was taught about and whom I still believe in would not condone any of that, or protection of child abusers, or any number of things you will read about on this forum.

Okay, off my soapbox! Enjoy, stay a while, read, and make up your own minds what is truth. Pooh, I know you love your husband dearly, but don't follow him blindly because you will only hurt yourself in the long run.

Lots of love and hugs,

Nina

Nosferatu

Hi Pooh! I must say, that is quite a situation you have!

After leaving the JWs, I learned the most important thing I've ever learned - YOU are the most important person in your life. Stand up for what you believe is right, even if everyone else disagrees with you. Unfortunately, the JWs are not allowed to have this mindset. They have to go along with what the other brothers think is right, which means being judged for every action you make.

Joining up with the JWs will change your life forever, and in my opinion, not for the better. If you keep studying and eventually get baptized, you will be taught to avoid spending time with people who aren't JWs, which include any members of your family which I believe is wrong.

As for your husband, it would be a good idea to get him to look at this website:
http://www.freeminds.org

Your husband does not have the right to force religion upon you. If you're completely happy being baptist, or non-religious, why change? You DO NOT have to follow in his footsteps. If he wishes to rejoin with the JWs, let him do so.

One thing you must know is that the JWs have been lying bastards for over 100 years. In the 1920s, they proclaimed "Millions Now Living Will Never Die". Guess where all those people are now. Armageddon has been around the corner for over 100 years.

Also, it's best if you say nothing to your bible study conductor about sites like this. They will only discourage you from getting help from experienced ones.

Hope all works out for you! Take care :)

HELP ME...

Share this