Posts by berylblue

I have gained a lot of weight since living with Tim. Now, I'm still within the weight and BMI "guidelines" for health, but barely. All told, I've gained about 15 pounds. I looked pretty good for an old lady when I started living here. Then I went on Remeron (anti-depressant) and that put a lot of weight on. I feel bad about myself as it is, and I know beauty is on the inside, and that self-confidence and a genuinely caring personality are much more important, but I can't stand being this way. I'm a petite girl, 5'1". It looks bad on me.

Naturally, almost none of the fat went to my breasts...

I am really watching what I eat, but to no avail. I was wondering if anyone knew a good diet to jump start my weight loss. I don't want to really low carb.

Tim says I look fine, but then he said that when I was much lighter. He did say he would not like it if I got unhealthily heavy. I feel I am approaching that.

Any help would be most appreciated.

Rosemarie

8

Need your advice, please

by berylblue in

i would really like your input on something which is causing me a great deal of pain (and costing me a lot of money as well).

my brother is a very strange person.

well, the entire family is.

berylblue

Thanks so much for all your sound advice. I am just having a hard time. I don't want to kill my brother's dream. In reality, he's doing it, but he will never see it that way.

I think my solution is to take all the stuff up here and do all the mailing from here so I know it will go out. It's a lot of work, but I don't mind too much. I did tell him in May I plan to take a small cut. I at least want money for the ebay fees. I think that's only fair, and money for the shipping I do. (I do ship certain items.)

Thanks again, everyone.

Rosemarie

8

Need your advice, please

by berylblue in

i would really like your input on something which is causing me a great deal of pain (and costing me a lot of money as well).

my brother is a very strange person.

well, the entire family is.

berylblue

Hello,

I would really like your input on something which is causing me a great deal of pain (and costing me a lot of money as well).

My brother is a very strange person. Well, the entire family is. However, my brother is especially negative and suffers from bad depression. On the other hand, he can be extremely witty and is very handsome and intelligent. My father abused us all, but this is the kind of thing that he used to say to John: "I never wanted any goddam sons". Etc. (We girls, on the other hands, were all whores.) Oh, btw, we were not Witnesses.

As a reaction, my mother babied him to death. He could never even do his own homework. She did it for him. And when she couldn't, she tried to get the rest of us to do it. I remember one night in particular, Mother was begging us to do John's school project for him. My older sister was very vocal in saying that she wouldn't do it, and why (all sound reasons). I of course, left the house so I wouldn't have to get involved. Anyway, Mother ended up in hysterical tears while she did John's geometry.

Well, my mother died a few years later and John still could do nothing for himself. He got into drugs and in a lot of trouble; someone usually bailed him out. He' s never held a job for longer than a year. Sometimes the depression gets in the way; sometimes it's drug use.

One of John's talents is to find great stuff. Anywhere and everywhere. If you saw something really cool in his apt., you'd ask where he found it, and he'd say, "The trash". Or "It was just lying in the street". So he started selling on Yahoo with my daughter. After four months she couldn't take it anymore. He was irresponsible and lazy. She did all the work, and he never held his end of the bargain.

Fast forward to a few months ago. John asked me if I wanted to sell on ebay with him. I did not want to, but we all do things in our life we don't want to for someone we love. I was assured that he and my sister would take the pictures and do the mailing; all I would have to do is the listings and the customer emails. Anyway, one night I get a call from my sister Theresa (who, btw, is notorious for insulting my daughters and its her husband and my brother who cost me untold hundreds of dollars in the "corporate dumping fight" tm the day I moved. Yes, they helped me move but cost me most of my good clothes. Shes does not know this, however; I never told her the guard told me to get my family out or she'd call the police while half my stuff was still up in my apt.

Anyway, she says I owe her a favor. A BIG one. For all she's done for me. Let me assure you, apart from the "corporate dumping fight" tm she's done nothing for me and never has, except a few times as a child. I turned to Tim when I got off the phone in tears, Theresa had said for me to get Tim (my domestic partner) to drive me 45 minutes down to John's house (both my sisters Theresa and Marianne live within three minutes of my brother) and take some photos. He said he'd be happy to help (I had known him all of 7 weeks by this point in time - yes , I did move in with him very quickly but it just seemed the best thing to do and anyway, I was suicidal living with my abusive father. ) and we went down to take photos. Tim cropped them; I listed everything. Immediately I got complaints from my brother that he didn't like what I did, there were too many mistakes (there were two). I wanted to respond that I told him up front that due to being ill, my thinking capacity was impaired; it if was not, I'd have a decent job paying enough to live off of instead of a crap job but I didn't tell him that - or anything . I usually say nothing so that I wont' say the wrong thing. When we finally sold things, he didn't mail them. Then when I'd try to get him to mail things (after refunding the buyer's money in full and still sending the items), he'd get really mad and my sisters would say I was picking on him. Oh, and theoretically, I'm supposed to get half of the money. Well, not only have I not taken any of the money I've made, I've spent $140 in ebay fees and refunding people's money. He doesn't know I do this.

Anyway, the last time this happened, (and remember, I'm the one who has to write to the buyers and tell them we messed up) I emailed my sister to please find out if John had shipped something or not; the buyer was coming down on me hard. My sister FREAKS out at me. So I said "I will never bother you with this again"

Yesterday, I found out that he once again, didn't mail something. It was three weeks ago. Oh, and BTW, Tim has continued to drive down there to take photos and all he gets for his trouble is my sisters asking "When can you get down to take more photos?" See, they don't want to have to help John anymore, they have helped him a lot (BTW, they have never helped me out of the problem's I've gotten myself into except once when I sold my guitar to get to work because my fther would n't give me the money and it cost $50 to get to work for the week and my guitar only sold for $25. I did get money then, but was told to pay it back IMMEDIATELY upon getting paid.) My brother owes me at least $2,000 and has lived with me for a few y ears in the past. On the other hand, I had to live in the ghetto with my abusive father and no one gave a damn. I know this sounds self-pitying but my life with my father was hell and it hurt me deeply that each and every one of my sisters had the room for me in their houses and did not ask me to live with them. On the other hand, John has lived with all but two of them. Sends a strong message about who is worthy of help and who is not.

I didn't say anything to John, and I offered the buyer a full refund. I am sick to death of this but know I will get some nasty phone calls if I decide to stop. Theresa will probably start crying at me. And I do want to help John, but I don't want to continually bail him out. I do know what it's like to be so depressed you don't want to do anything; I've felt that way but the fact of the matter is I never stopped doing what I had to do .

I don't know what to d o. I want to be fair, but I don't want to get more insulting phone calls from my sisters and nasty ones from him (he would send emails that were downright awful to me about how I never called - BTW that's not true. When I did, if he didn't want to talk, then forget about it.)
HELP!
Sorry to rant, I'm just so upset. Another $13 refund to a customer and I simply don't have the money
Rosemarie

15

Maybe we all need to calm down and just stop arguing!

by NaruNaruChan in

jw
friends

i mean for heaven's sake people!

sometimes it feels like coming onto this site is such a downer!

i don't mean to be offensive, but why don't we all try to make tomorrow a more positive day of posting.. like, talk about stuff in your lives that doesn't suck for just a little while!

berylblue

I think this is a great forum. I really do, and I appreciate the work Simon has put into it.

Rosemarie

31

Do You Think Disfellowshipping Is Unscriptural?

by minimus in

jw
friends

and for those that believe disfellowshipping is unacceptable, would you want to have known child molesters as members of a congregation that you were in?

berylblue

Mystery, excellent, excellent, excellent!

Rosemarie

14

"Jehovah's Witnesses Really Don't Love People, Do They?"

by minimus in

jw
friends

this was a comment that was made to me when i expressed that witnesses shun or disfellowship people and refuse to have any normal contact with them, or that they "mark" them and give a public speech about ones that even date a non-jehovah's witness.

after the statement was made, i stated that witnesses were more interested in numbers such as how many knocked on doors or went to a meeting......................it is a sad but true commentary.

berylblue

I beg do differ. I believe the WTS would say, "seek first the kingdom, yada yada, and all else, yada yada". That's if they are hungry NON witnesses.

If the hungry are Witnesses, they must have been doing something wrong. More hours of field service and they won't notice the hunger pangs.

I remember one day a sister told me, after I was baptized and I had been giving her daughter and her family food because they were broke, that she had always worried about me while I was studying because I looked so poor and it was pretty obvious I didn't have much to eat. I couldn't help but think, "What good did your (unvoiced) worrying do?" Not a very kind thought, but a very human one.

35

When did the Brothers/Sisters, make you feel UNLOVED,WORTHLESS?

by Fruitcake in

jw
friends

i felt worthless, when i was a new auxiliary pioneer.

i was having some personal problems, but i was so eager to try my best, and doing quite good in the hall.

i was in a new hall, with a new bunch, and always out in service.

berylblue

Lady Lee, and everyone else...I'm so sorry

Rosemarie

My stupid story is nothing compared to all of yours....

There are so many times I not only felt unloved, but was pro-actively wounded by persons who professed to love me (or felt the need to pretend because that's how the org said they should act).

I guess I missed the point of the entire thread. I really can't relate the time I felt the most unloved because I can't expose my daughter that way.