scotsman

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Posts by scotsman

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  47

  interracial dating

  by Maverick in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  lazuli got me thinking....(thanks lazuli...feels good!

  ) about the wts and how its policies change peoples outlooks and values.

  i was....as much as i hate to admit it....born in the northeast, but moved to the south as a teenager.

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  scotsman

  I can check out the Watchtower CD tomorrow. But in the mean time - 1968? I believe they will have changed their stance since then. As has society.
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  47

  interracial dating

  by Maverick in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  lazuli got me thinking....(thanks lazuli...feels good!

  ) about the wts and how its policies change peoples outlooks and values.

  i was....as much as i hate to admit it....born in the northeast, but moved to the south as a teenager.

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  scotsman

  Sometimes I despair.

  The WTBTS is not 'officially' against interracial relationships. In my 30 years as a JW I never heard anyone express even unofficial racism.

  Scotland is predominently white but I know of plenty interracial marriages amongst the Witnesses and know of none of them recieving any sort of prejudice from within their congregations. I do recall there being an article in the Awake about the difficulties that cross cultural relationships can have, but it was about how to handle them not a reason to discourage them.

  I hate the WTBTS but erroneous slurs distract from their real evils.
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  24

  Help with Grief

  by Sirona in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'd appreciate any links or book recommendations to help with grief.

  i've searched the net, but thought that you would all have some good input.

  basically i'm trying to help someone very close to me who is shattered with grief (the death happened only 2 days ago).. please tell me about your own experiences in helping someone in this situation.

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  scotsman

  It's not the time that heals, it's what's done with the time that determines whether we heal. Loss isn't something to get over, it's something we learn to live with. After my dad died, it was a project for me to get my Mum back on her feet, for her to have a life as an independant woman. It took about three years and although she relied on me heavily at times, she got there. She traveled to the States, Russia, Europe and the Far East having been only to Paris in the 50's. She learned to play the flute and took up the Alexander Technique. I was, and am, really proud of how she took control of her life (apart from still being a JW!)

  I was 20 when my dad died 12 years ago, and I'm sorry that we didn't have the time to establish a properly adult relationship (but then who ever manages that!) but I still think of him often via music we both like and interests that we share. As a family we all talked about him a lot in the months after he died, talked about what he'd have thought about things that happened.

  12 years later I have no shame when I occasionally cry when thinking about him.

  euan
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  24

  Help with Grief

  by Sirona in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'd appreciate any links or book recommendations to help with grief.

  i've searched the net, but thought that you would all have some good input.

  basically i'm trying to help someone very close to me who is shattered with grief (the death happened only 2 days ago).. please tell me about your own experiences in helping someone in this situation.

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  scotsman

  Hi Sirona
  

  Pop in to Waterstones, they usually have a few titles. There were 3 my mum read after my dad died that she found helpful and she doles them out to friends. I'll get back to you on their titles. In the meantime, it's early days for your friend and just being there for them is important. It may be too soon for them to read books on bereavement, but you'll find them helpful.

  All the best.

  Euan

  edited to add: being there now is important, but being there in the coming weeks and months is more important as it's as everone else moves on with their lives that the bereaved feel really at a loss.
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  18

  Letter to Mom and Dad opinions wanted

  by freelife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello friends, i wanted to post this here and get some opinions on it before i take the big step of sending it to my parental units.

  dear mom and dad,

  dad i was surprised to hear from you the other day.

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  scotsman

  You've had good advice already but I understand how torn you'll feel. The urge to be the one that terminates the relationship when you think they're about to do so is hard to resist. It also makes you feel that you have a little control over what is a monstrous situation.

  You may feel like shit either way, but if you let them reject you at least you may eventually feel a little virtuous.

  Good luck.
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  10

  Further Education

  by scotsman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had lunch with a jw friend who's just finished a law degree.

  she was saying that at the last circuit assembly the bethel speaker, (philip longstaffe) said that the society had not changed its stance on further education, and that college for vocational skills was all that they thought was ok. my friend's a bit of a free thinker (i'd half hoped that this lunch date was to tell me she had doubts, but no) so she doesn't give fig what they think.

  i was actually appointed as an elder the month before i started attending uni and the co had told the other elders it was no reason to prevent my appointment.. anyone else heard this at their assemblies?

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  scotsman

  Subsequently I mentioned this to my brother, a P.O., as he was at the same assembly. He understood the comments quite differently as it made him think there would be no problem for his kids to go to uni (they're currently aged 4 and 7!). Same talk, same, place, same speaker, but a different interpretation. Funny how the Borg is like that.
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  47

  Personality Tests (similar to Myer-Briggs)

  by LittleToe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  have you undergone psychometric testing to see what kind of personality you are?

  the following emode test is free, and will help identify your personality type:.

  http://web.tickle.com/tests/classiccareer/.

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  scotsman

  This takes me back. A few years ago I was doing the Myers-Briggs with my friends in the Hall, it was a hoot. Although it did end in tears for some.

  I'm and ENFP with periods as an INFP.
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  69

  How old were you when you left?

  by somebodylovesme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i only know a handful of witnesses, but i do know several ex-witnesses.

  all of them left in their late teens, which (as i've read here) is pretty common.

  i know there are a lot of people here who left later in life.

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  scotsman

  Fourth generation

  baptized at 16

  MS at 20

  Elder at 29

  Left at 30 1/2 having never ever believed any of it.

  Been happy, free and practicing my homosexuality (it's hard work but I gotta do it) for 2 years.
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  15

  Bethel trip

  by dustyb in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my g/f today asked me if i wanted to go to ny and tour bethel and wahkill (sp?

  ) and all the other buildings today.

  should i go, or should we just save our money?

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  scotsman

  Personally, I found Bethel to be just as dull as I had expected. The only thing that hacked me off a bit was how flashy some parts were (the Stanely and the Bossart) at a time when my congregation was mortgaged to the hilt.

  But it really is dullsville.
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  20

  Answering the WTS: Why are So Many Angry at the Watchtower?

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as in a recent issue, the watchtower loves to portray its critics as "apostates" and further label them as bad people who simply.

  want to draw away faithful witnesses because of their own irrational hatred of the "truth".. .

  but just how true is this proposition?.

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  scotsman

  You are so right, but illustrations are such a Witnessy thing to me it gives me the shivvers! Feel like I'm at the public talk