This is my big sore spot. I have so many comments that they are all trying to get out at once and getting muddled.
Maybe my marriage would have been better if I had married a "straight" man. Did the elders who encouraged my gay husband to find a wife really think it would be a happy marriage? How could we have possibly been even close to happy when it was all based on a lie?
When I went to the elders for help after my husband told me he didn't love me (I still didn't know he was gay, I just thought I was hidious and unattractive) they lovingly told me to have my husband come talk to them, then they could help. That was it. There was no advice for me at all, no help, no assistance. My husband refused to go (he was "spiritually weak" at the time) and the elders wouldn't come to him.. what did they expect me to do? I suppose I should have "waited on Jehovah" but I couldn't. My heart was crushed (literally.. anyone who has felt this way knows what I mean) and I was lost without any support.
I have read so many of these articles in the past. All that wrapped in plastic advice makes me ill. It sounds good til it happens to you, then it's completely unapplicable. They don't tell you that you will have to deal with it alone. They don't give any advice for how to handle the screaming loneliness. I suppose I should have stayed and been miserable with the rest of them. I'm sure glad I didn't.
I left, fell in love, had lots of sex (and didn't die!!) and eventually remarried. Now I am blissfully happy, and all without the help of the elders, the bible, or jah.
This is probably more that is warrented for this thread.. but I'm glad I got it off my chest :)
Misty