Brother Hipokryt can be the biggest a**hole towards everybody, drinks beer until he's drunk, beats his wife, but still, he's an elder. Brother Hipokryt usually marries Sister Naive, a woman who doesn't know jack sh*t about any of the realities of life, who sees a pile of beercans in the recycling bin, with the beercan residue reeking of fresh beer, but believes her husband when he says "Oh, those are old beercans from when I was in the wurld!" Brother Fartzdontstink is the guy you would love to punch out. Has the nice car, the frigid, somewhat attractive lilly skinned wife (Or if she's a minority, usually they have the bright white teeth and the superpink gums) with that JW look in her eyes. (You know the one I'm talking about.) Usually, he's from a "Spiritual" (AKA rich and filled with free time) family. He has a 2000 dollar surround sound DVD/VHS system in his house, filled with hundreds of movies, but none of them are rated over PG and half of them are society videos. Brother Fartzdontstink strangely has enough time to live in that 1,000$ a month apartment in the outer burbs and have a brand new car while only working part time as a propane dealer's tankwipe. Usually, Brother Fartzdontstink has an Elder father/father in law, who provides him with money on the side. Sister Fartzdontstink is usually the future wife of Brother Fartzdontstink. Sometimes they're hot as hell, and on a few occasions, will go for Brother Sideburn, Brother Cradlerobber, Brother Neophyte or sometimes, Brother 20something Rebel and Brother Stealavirgin Brother Neophyte: A staunch convert to the Troof. These days, he's usually oblivious to the numerous websites that expose the secrets of the Jehovah's Witnesses and to those who were once in the cult. He falls for everything. Usually, brother Neophyte is a former punk rocker from either Minnesota, Colorado, Washington, or some other mid-populated Midwest/Mountian state. Brother Neophyte also comes in Brother Minority Neophyte. Brother Minority Neophyte is usually a convert from some other whacko church who's oblivious to the internet. He sings gospel style during kingdom songs and wears these pimp-type suits on Sunday meetings. Brother Cradlerobber: He's a creepy, balding, glasses wearing, fat virgin man who tricks some niave young sister into thinking he's sexy because he puts 90 hours of service every month. Brother 20something Rebel: He's the type that listens to Cannibal Corpse at his house, has blonde highlights, shaggy hair, quotes unknown, but unsettling facts about the witnesses on service (Like how in the 70's, the Witnesses frowned on interracial marriage.) Usually, he gets sick of the Witness crap and gets out. Brother Sideburn: Brother sideburns is not as rebellious as 20something rebel, but he does have a wild streak in him. He usually has a 2 door sedan, long sideburns, listens to pop-punk on service and wears tinted lenses at the meetings. All the sisters fall for his rebellious streak. Brother Stealavirgin: The name explains it all. He just wants to convert to steal a virgin. You guys can expand on this afterwards. Brother/Sister Jehooverwilprovidde: You know the type. They're usually people with some sort of mental deficiency, morbidly obesse or severly uneducated. They work as a minor leauge ballpark janitor, have an apartment with holes in the roof, a delapadated bed in their house, and usually driving an '86 Ford. When the '86 Ford breaks down, the team folds away or moves to another city, the apartment complex's condemned and the bed reeks too much of urine, a congregation family lets Brother/Sister Jehooverwilprovidde stay in their garage until he gets a new job as a McDonald's fry cook, and gives them their old Datsun that they were going to scrap. When they get into bad circumstances, they always say "Jehovah will provide." Sister Milf: Usually, the hot-ass 40 something year old wife of Brother Fartzdontstink. Every young teenage brother oggles sister Milf and sometimes have their first wet dreams about them.
