Posts by TheSilence

41

Not sure what to tell my 4 year old about Santa

by jwfacts in

jw
friends

my adorable little son is very excited about christmas.

i have not made a big thing about it, but he must have picked up the christmas spirit from what he is seeing in the shops and on tv.

he loves the music, and movies and all the decorations.

TheSilence

Who says Santa is not real? I believe in Santa. Santa, to me, is the spirit of love, kindness, and generosity. Christmas, to me, is a celebration of family and friends and of my freedom to believe or disbelieve as I see fit. You are your son's Santa. There is nothing that is not real about you. You harbor these qualities with him. We were all denied that magic as children, don't deny it to your son. I watch that magic in my nieces and nephews and allowing them that experience is beautiful. 3 of them are old enough not to believe and not one of them has been hurt or scarred by it. And they know that Aunt Jackie still believes in Santa, she just sees it a little differently than they do. And every one of them experiences the joy of watching the younger ones still get excited about reindeer and elves and it reminds them of a magical time in their lives just as their own children will one day remind them.

Santa is real and while he may only come once a year the spirit of Santa is something that I carry with me year round. It reminds me to be good to and there for the people that I love. It reminds me to be grateful for my freedom to choose my own path in life. It reminds me that there is no greater gift than family who love and support me and friends who are there for me. Santa is alive and well in my life and I hope that is a lesson I teach to my nieces and nephews year round. You choose what Santa is and what he represents for you. Then you live those ideals and you become Santa. And when you let your son believe that Santa is real there is no lie, no fabrication, no misrepresentation because really what he believes in is you.

Best,

Jackie

56

Women who have affairs...are they DUMB to think he will leave his wife?

by Witness 007 in

"yes he does love me....it's just a bad time now with the kids and all...and money...he doesn't love her anymore, it just the kids....he said we can keep meeting at $40 hotels for "awhile" longer....till he sorts things out...and we can be together.".

this could be 1955 or 2011 and dumb girls still fall for this crap????

for real????

TheSilence

Some men do leave their wives. I find it more amazing that the other woman is then shocked when he cheats on her.

Jackie

283

Are you sure leaving is a wise decision ?- Lurkers think twice- Part 2

by mankkeli in

in the previous thread of this series, i called lurkers attention to the need of being discreet when contemplating an exit from the jw religion.

i mentioned that the thread was borne as a result of the general observations i made reading old posts here and discussing with many ex-jws and their lives have gradually turned out.

that thread alone was visited more than 2,980 times and graced with 204 contributions.

TheSilence

We all know that the rate of divorce is way much higher outside than in the borg.

Yes... women who are abused are free to leave their husbands. Men who are henpecked and denied any sort of affection or companionship because they 'do not do enough' to please their status-conscious wives are free to leave them. Seriously, I've watched witness marriages and 'worldly' marriages. I have found that the only reason more witness marriages work is because they are required to remain in a miserable situation. If that's what God wants for us then I opt out, thanks.

I only pop on this site occaissionally... when I'm bored waiting for dinner or killing time before doing whatever it is I'm going to do for the day. When I popped on this morning killing time before work I read this and then the first page or so of your other post about this. Your arguments are laughable. How is my life better having left the witnesses? Well, how is your life better having stayed with the witnesses? I've lived in and out and my life is inordinately better out than in. You're going to ask me for proof as you did others on your other thread but, honestly, who do you think you are to ask for proof so you can sit in judgment of my life? I make the decisions in my life and I am happy with who I am and where I am in life. Whether you believe me or agree is of exactly zero consequence to me. And *that* is why your arguments are laughable to me.

I feel sorry for you. You live your life for conditional love. My life is richer and fuller out of the witnesses than it ever was in. I have friends and family who support me no matter who I am or what I believe. And I love and support them in the same manner in return. If I need help I'm not told to pray more, to do more. I don't even have to ask... it is simply there.

I stopped attending meetings as soon as I was able when I was 18 years old. I have lived more of my life outside of the religion than in it. I have met *significantly* more people outside of the religion than in it. *One* person I knew from outside the religion has commited suicide. *Five* people I knew from the religion have done so. Does that not say something to you? Their "happiness" is a veneer put on because they are expected to be happy. It's not true or real for a large portion of them. And if you don't see that, if you have so little compassion for your fellow believers to know the true suffering they endure, then you only illuminate how little true love and friendship there is within the organisation.

You have asked others if they escaped life's problems by leaving the witnesses. No one escapes life's problems. Not one person. You have not escaped them by remaining in the witnesses. Neither have any of your brothers or sisters. You just put on a little play to fool each other into believing that they don't matter because God will fix them all any minute now, any minute now, everything will be better any minute now so let's pretend the hurts don't hurt and don't matter because any minute now they will be gone... which would be a great argument if it hadn't been any minute now for over a century.

Anyway, I'm off to work now. I wish you the best. I likely won't see any of your replies because I have a busy and happy life to attend to so feel free to malign me in my absense if it makes you feel better or right or whatever it is you need to feel.

Jackie

29

Is POLYGAMY ever justifiable? I say yes, Yes, and YES!!!!!!

by Judge Dread in

jw
friends

it is in the nature of man to want to have more than one woman.. a man cannot help himself.

he was born that way.. if it was legal, men would have multiple wives, two, three, maybe ten if he could afford it.. that's all.. jdw .

TheSilence

Between consenting adults? Yes. A woman should be allowed to keep as many husbands as she likes. :)

26

Help. I need a date.

by donuthole in

jw
friends

i've googled with no success.

i need a date.

when did the watchtower discontinue food service at the district conventions?

TheSilence

I was going to tell you to just buck up and ask a girl out... ;)

46

Would you go back if you thought there were one in a million chances you were wrong?

by Paul Duda in

jw
friends

often i wake up in a cold sweat wondering if i'm wrong.

life is short.

i have only a brief time to make a decision.

TheSilence

No. I wrote something once in response to an email my dad sent me and never sent it for various reasons. I did, however, keep it in case I ever changed my mind. This is part of what I wrote:

The big question, I suppose, is what if I am wrong? What if that is truly the nature of god and he will kill me for not accepting that? I've thought long and hard about that question. You taught me, dad, to stand up for the things I believe in... no matter what. At Armageddon, if I were a believer, you would expect me to hold to my beliefs even to death. Well, dad, the thing is I believe it would be wrong of god to kill myself, millions of basically good people, and innocent children and babies simply because they believed the wrong thing. That is what I believe and I stand up for that. If that is truly who and what god is then he's not a god I'm willing to worship, even if I pay with my life. I don't believe in a god who can be that vindictive and petty and I won't worship a god who is. If I were a believer and Armageddon was tomorrow and I survived how could I live with myself knowing that I had supported and worshipped a god who killed my innocent nephew who did nothing wrong, who earned no such punishment? And not just my nephew but millions of innocent children and babies. That's not a god I can support, that's not a god I can worship. I'm not saying I'm right, I've been wrong about countless things in my life. I can only say I do the best I can and try to be the best person I can... and my morals dictate that I could not support such genocide.

98

JW Women Self-0Loathing - Get a Back Bone

by Band on the Run in

jw
friends

an earlier thread about pants suits for women led me on this tangent.

women make up the majorty of witnesses.

they cannot be suppressed without their acquiescene.

TheSilence

"I think the point is missed. It's fine if it works in your relationship for the husband not to be as dominat. Surprise surprise that is how it is in my relationship but there is a mutual respect for each other as individuals. However, the point is on this thread is that the society pushes only one acceptable role for women and that is of the passive, submissive role."

If that is all that was said I would have readily agreed. I *don't* agree with the role the society gives women. I *don't* agree with how women in this religion (or most religion) are considered to be second class citizens. I also *don't* agree with the broad generalizations of the opening post about every male in the religion. The women in that religion allow themselves to be treated that way. That is their choice and some of them are happy with it and I respect their choice. If a woman is not happy with it she has the ability to get up and leave just as the rest of us did. I can rage and rail against the *policy*. I have a problem with raging and railing against the *people* who are victims of the policy which is what the opening post seemed to me to be doing. Men in that religion are victims as well, even the misogynistic assholes. :)

98

JW Women Self-0Loathing - Get a Back Bone

by Band on the Run in

jw
friends

an earlier thread about pants suits for women led me on this tangent.

women make up the majorty of witnesses.

they cannot be suppressed without their acquiescene.

TheSilence

Wow, there's a lot of bitterness and generalities in this thread. I was raised a witness. I knew from a very young age that I wasn't the kind of girl who would be the 'submissive helpmate'. I am the dominant party in my relationships and I prefer men who enjoy being in a submissive role with me so the witness concept of relationships was never going to be my cup of tea. But being the dominant party doesn't make me smarter or better or more important. Aren't you being exactly the same as the men you malign when you say, "We are smarter than the brothers. Not the same. Smarter. We know our WT better. JW men are low-earners. They aren't men's men." Isn't that the same as saying, "We are stronger and smarter than the sisters. Not the same. Better. We are the ones Jehovah gave headship to. Women should be homemakers and nothing more. A woman with a spine is not a woman's woman." Aren't you perpetuating the same exact thing just on the other end of the spectrum?

I can be dominant in my relationships and still love, honor, and respect the man I love and men in general. I don't need to belittle any man or group of men to prove myself in this regard. I am simply who I am and if others don't accept that they have no place in my life even though I wish them well in theirs. I see no reason to paint the entire male population of the witnesses with the brush you have used.

"How do women become so malleable to serve as door mats?"

They allow themselves to be. It is their choice. They have the same ability to get up and walk away as you or I did. If that is the life they choose then leave them to it. There are more women more comfortable in submissive roles than there are comfortable with dominant roles. And, believe it or not, there are more men comfortable with submissive roles than there are comfortable with dominant roles. How about we just respect the choices others make in their lives, even if that choice is to "become so malleable to serve as door mats." Some people are happy in their submissive roles even if you don't understand it.

"What can be done to fix the situation?"

You have already fixed your situation and that is the only situation you are in charge of fixing.

"My present being would scare the living daylights out of male authroities."

That is not as impressive as you seem to think it is.

99

onacruise - Craig Mills 1952-2011

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i was given the link to a bit of information regarding on old poster/moderator of this forum.

i was not sure of the validity of the information so have been trying to find out if it is true.. earlier today craig's estranged wife, kate, (bikerchic) confirmed that craig died at his home on aug 10, 2011.. i am sure that many people here remember craig's time here and how he went out of his way to offer support to posters, even calling them, to give whatever help he could as they adjusted to their post-jw lives.. i know many people here will grieve his loss.. --------------.

ps i tried posting this earlier but the computer i was working with would not allow the posts.

TheSilence

I'm sad to read this. Peace to him and his loved ones.

Jackie

58

How old were you when...

by agent zero in

jw
friends

..when you got baptised, and when you discovered the truth about the truth?.

me: 20 and 27.

TheSilence

Never baptised. When I was 6 someone knocked on our door and my dad wouldn't listen to what they had to say. I asked my dad why we wouldn't listen to them if we expected them to listen to us? He said because we had the truth and they did not. I knew better than to say it but my thought was, 'but they think they have the truth and we do not, too.' I still believed to a degree because I was young and taught to believe, but I don't think I ever really believed 100%. I told my dad at 13 that I didn't believe any more. He told me I was no longer his daughter. :)