Hi Hollywood, welcome to this forum.
Please continue posting here, expressing and letting it all out. I am very sorry for the pain and suffering you've endured. It wasn't your fault.
You're blessed in that you're awake. Embrace your soul and use your gifts, don't let them take away your power any more as they've already have in numerous ways.
An opportunity with an agency may have passed by, but there's more than one agency in the world, and numerous in Los Angeles. There is only one of you and your gifts to share with the world. Get out there and express what your soul craves.
You and your mother have two separate life paths. Don't kill yourself slowly by trying to force yourself into her life path, and don't feel guilty for walking away from her path either. It isn't yours.