nowisee

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Posts by nowisee

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  9

  Missing Kat_Newmas

  by RAYZORBLADE in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just a brief note here.

  looks like kat_newmas won't be around here for an indefinite period of time

  i found his presence and input to the forum: welcoming, invigorating, upbeat and positive.

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  nowisee

  ditto

  nowisee
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  7

  to hell and back

  by nowisee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have upset people in the last few days (you can feel vibes through computer).

  im sorry, i didnt intend it.

  my story might reveal where im coming from.

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  nowisee

  dear razorblade,

  i was not at all surprised to see a note from you. thank you. i already knew your true colors - i know you are a sensitive, kind soul, someone special. my husband and i were in toronto last summer for the first time - the skyline is beautiful, 2nd city was great, sunday a.m. flea market was so fun as well as the street that goes out to the beach (i forget the name) with all the antique shops. i will just keep my little fantasy that you were one of the friendly bartenders we met along the way. my best to you.

  heathen - i seem to have full service back again - it just seemed so coincidental that right after my questions which caused such furor (unintentionally) that i was unable to access segments of the board. whatever, i am glad to still be here.

  ok - deep breath. i know some people will look sideways at me, but when i left my first husband i was in love with one of each. (not together). they each knew about the other. i used to say he was the heaven, she was the earth, he was the sun, she was the moon. over the years i had relationships with both men and women. when i met my current husband i could see his heart, i knew he was different and somehow i felt safe. on our 2nd or 3rd date i stunned him by telling him all about my past (there were more things to tell him than my sexual history) - i figured if he was going to leave me let's just get it over with. wonder of wonders he accepted me and does truly love me with all my flaws. he is a very great blessing to me. not surprisingly various issues would arise over the years and at one point he urged me to have therapy which i did. it was very helpful in helping me purge the consuming rage i had felt at my father. i actually can look back now and see the positive things.

  yet i have found that if you're not right with God then nothing will ever really be right, and if you are right with God then everything is right. this is how it is for me anyway.

  so, our president will speak tonight. we seem to be at a crossroads. whatever has to happen has to happen. there is a saying, "serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm". i am finally at peace. i pray the same for all of you.

  nowisee
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  7

  to hell and back

  by nowisee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have upset people in the last few days (you can feel vibes through computer).

  im sorry, i didnt intend it.

  my story might reveal where im coming from.

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  nowisee

  dear big tex,

  thank you so much for responding to me. this speaks volumes about you, your compassion and your insight (are you dr phil in disguise?). your conclusions are not far off target (though you assumed my coworker was a man). you cut right to my heart and i have not stopped crying.

  i suspect that i am being viewed as a troll as simultaneously with this posting yesterday i lost access to forum and current topics. headstrong and injudicious i will own; wt troll/jw spy, malicious and devious i am not. shunned by both jws and xjws - how special can one be. so if this maintains i guess i will be history and will go off and read a (the?) good book. newbies are droppin like flies.

  in my case,however, there is a happy ending. i have been told that often one is broken and in total despair before crying out to the Lord. certainly i was in that space a year ago. but i have found my Eternal Father who loves, does not abandon, is merciful and keeps his word. i remember in years past when i would hear stories of conversion i would react with skepticism and contempt. now i know differently. i hope my story would spur anyone else on this board who might be in that same broken place to not give up in seeking Him because He is not far off from each one of us. i would hope that some other Christians here would recognize the ring of truth and know that i am a sister.

  no ill-will on my part. may you all find your way to whatever it is you are seeking. my best wishes and love to all but most espcially big tex.

  nowisee
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  25

  New to the group - I have a couple questions to get started with!!

  by bk62 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm not, have never been, nor will i ever be a jw.

  unfortunately, i've become caught up in the cult because of my wife.

  she's not yet a witness, but many in her family are.

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  nowisee

  hank hanigraff, the bible answer man, will be dealing specifically with witnessing to jws this mon & tues 3/l7 & l8. in tri-state area he is on wmca, 570am, but i know he broadcasts all over us & canada. maybe he will discuss something useful for you. you can find out schedule by calling l-888-ask-hank.

  best wishes. nowisee
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  4

  2 & l/2 incidents

  by nowisee in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i had a fairly long-term bible study with a young woman with a somewhat worldly appearance.

  this was in the days of very short miniskirts and big hair.

  i finally got her to come to some meetings with me.

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  nowisee

  thank you, sphere and hippikon. you got it and made me feel better. hugs. nowisee
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  7

  to hell and back

  by nowisee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have upset people in the last few days (you can feel vibes through computer).

  im sorry, i didnt intend it.

  my story might reveal where im coming from.

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  2. 
  3. 
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  nowisee

  i have upset people in the last few days (you can feel vibes through computer). im sorry, i didnt intend it. my story might reveal where im coming from

  my father was prominent in the wts & in our cong. he was co (before elders) and served on dfing committees. when there was a dfing he would be very upset and would upset the family. he was volatile self-centered. jw teachings re place of women allowed him to demand service and obedience from the females in the family. they were devalued and beaten down mentally and emotionally. self worth was nil. at the same time the only love i received was from my father as my mother had mental problems & did not have the capacity to love or care for her children. but we were all faithful jws, a perfect picture.

  when i married i chose someone much like my father (what a surprise). we had a very sexual but uncon-summated relationship before marriage. this all changed our wedding night when suddenly he didn't want anything to do with me. classic madonna/whore syndrome. my existence was very dark and i felt worthless and trapped, but i continued to pioneer and smile at kh.

  as an adult i discovered that throughout childhood an unorthodox and forbidden sexual behavior had been taking place between my father and another family member. this never came to light in the cong. i loved my father despite everything and was afraid of him. i had also brought unrelated events to the attention of the elders see 2 & l/2 incidents) and nothing was done. a sibling ultimately committed suicide. my world disintegrated as everything i believed in, loved, lived for crumbled. (father, marriage, org. god)

  i became involved with a coworker and was totally vulnerable. i was madly in love and when this person told me to leave my husband & religion i never looked back. i was obsessed but also mistreated. i have tried to understand why my feelings were so extreme. in following years i lost all faith, turned my back on god & his word, yet always with deep feeling of impending doom as i was involved in all kinds of unchristian behavior, in fact had contempt for "christians".

  i was traumatized by 9ll, thinking destruction any second. i didnt know if it was possible but i was going to set my life right or die. one night i prayed for the first time in years - maybe ever since i never felt my prayers connected in the past. yet this time i said, "ok, i dont know if you exist, i have no idea if youre there. if you are im trying to find you. if youre really there why dont you come and find me." within minutes i met an acquaintance who offered me a book on basic christianity that someone had given her as she planned not to read it. the significance of that didn't dawn on me then, but later as i read i was overwhelmed and began to feel that there was some hope for me. since then i have gotten back into scripture, have discovered for the first time the love of the Lord Jesus Christ and received him as my Savior. i am amazed at his love and mercy and i realize he wants all to be reconciled to him. the book of romans has become a cherished friend.

  my life has just begun. finally i have found freedom, peace and im not afraid anymore.

  my story isnt extraordinary, many here have been thru hell. i was excited to come here because i have not been able to talk to anyone who understands where iv been -didn't know where to find other xjws, tho the xjw label slowly & surely gives way to "new christian". i judge no one as how could i remove the splinter from my brothers eye when there is a rafter in my own. im interested in all of you and how you got to be where you are, and, i suppose i hoped for some validation of my own experience.

  best wishes and love, nowisee
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  7

  Irish Recipes!

  by Ravyn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ingredients:.

  turn to simmer and cook for 3 hours.

  1 tsp brown sugar or 3 tblsp.

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  nowisee

  i have always been told the most basic irish recipe is - boil meat, boil potatoes, drink lots of whiskey. glad to know the irish are really more creative!
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  24

  The life they stole from me

  by sipho in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have just come across this website and was amazed to read to many similar experiences to what i went through with the 'loving' congregations of jehovah's witnesses.

  i have now been gone 4 years but after reading some experiences i realise that the pain they caused still remains.

  i am now quite angry at the way they control your life and brainwash you - i am so glad i finally saw what was happening and got out.

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  nowisee

  hi sipho. i understand what you went through and im glad you're out. better late than never. best wishes and i hope you find many friends here.
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  38

  Somebody notice me, hello hello, Im here, Im nice and friendly

  by blackout in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  just feeling a little insecure and unnoticed and like an omega in this pond of slime (no offense) and lonely and having had a few chardonnays, unreserved.. yes people i need some attention!!!!

  !

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  nowisee

  hi blackout - maybe your name should be outback. anyway, i saw you and think you are very funny.
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  6

  the more precise question:

  by nowisee in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  has anyone found a way to reconcile homosexuality with scripture?

  im really interested in an answer to this.

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  nowisee

  thank you, logic, razorblade, buster & dan the man. i would hope that judgementalism would not be found on this board considering where most of us have been and assure you that judgement isnt my motive - just trying to sort things out. dan the man, i just went to the website you kindly gave me - it looks very informative and im sure it will keep me busy for awhile!