Hi
Welcome dear friend.
We are in similar situations. I had a lot of such back room discussions with loyalty questions if the fds is god's channel (they are still dealing with my answer to that one).
We are both of similar age and both have a hardcore jw wife. The difference is that mine separated because she was so shocked and thinks I am bad company that I wouldn't let my son and myself bleed to death in a life and death situation.
I wish you good luck and all the best, especially in dealing with your family.