Dear darknight
You did very well how you handled your resignation and inactivity.
From your words I sense that your wife also sees the flaws in this organisation.
I read your older threads and feel with you about the loss of your babies. This is a very sad and traumatic situation for you and your wife. You are going to grieve support meetings? Continue to do that.
Me and my wife lost a baby very early in the pregnancy, just a few days after we knew about the pregnancy. Because it was so early, the trauma wasn't as bad as if it happened later. Sadly this happens to many pregnancies. We later had a healthy and wonderful boy. However we are divorced now because of this cult indoctrination, but thats another story.
Concerning God I still believe there is a 'God' of love, however completely different to the biblical description of God. But I understand if you have lost your belief in a God. This is a very personal matter.
I was also an elder and had to go through this resignation process. How I did that and my experiences you can see in my older threads. Now I am df'd for apostasy and I am happy to be free to live a moral life according to my conscience.
I wish you and your wife all the best from my heart, that you can stick together and be free of this cults indoctrination and that you can go joyful through life despite every burden you are carrying.
Love Dani