Posts by Daniel1555

57

Got my JC cancelled... (at least for now)

by Sanchy in

jw
friends

so my wife and i have been in the process of fading for a few months now as per my original post here.

about a week ago, i was browsing some ex-jw facebook groups when i saw a post that linked to the crisis of conscience book.

i said "f@(k it" and hit share on it.. a few hours later, i get a long text letter from my mom (who was a fb friend of mine) telling me the typical "good luck finding friends in the world" and how we have "nothing in common anymore"; basically, it was a 'farewell' text.

Daniel1555

Be prepared to answer the loyalty question "Do you believe the governing body is the from god appointed faithful and discreet slave." They will ask that question in hidden, sinister and different ways.

I was in a similar situation. If you stand your ground and stick to your principles before them, they will finally disfellowship you.

For me it was a liberation and the best thing that could have happened. My family got used to it and my parents and grandparents of my boy have the same loving relationship as before. Of course I lost all JW friends.... but are they really trie friends if they drop you like a piece of shxt? I made new and better friends, which is not so easy but rewarding.

If you get disfellowshipped and your parents lose the contact to you and their grandchild it is entirely their fault.

Anyway I wish it goes as you like it to be.

Good luck.

154

I believe in Evolution and that God created life

by Crabby in

anyone else also hold this view or understand it at least, or do you feel the need to argue that both can in no way coexist?.

Daniel1555

Crabby

I believe the same. It's called theistic evolution.

13

My heart's not in it

by What is Truth? in

jw
friends

you know how when your asked to talk about something your not interested in how annoying it is, or difficult to debate something from the opposite side of your view.

after learning ttatt i've come to regard the nonsense the org spouts as quite evil then to have to give parts about how great it is makes me hate it that much more.. story aside, what might you say to the elders to get them to dismiss it or get off your back if you told them your heart's not in it any more?.

not the obvious it's a stupid hypocritical cult that needs to be wiped from the face of the earth..

Daniel1555

Just tell them, that you will stop doing talks.

If they ask why, you tell them not to worry but those are personal reasons.

If they wanna make a shepherding call you say: "Thanks for your concern; but no, I am fine. If I feel the need for your encouraging shepherding visit, I'll let you know right away."

Don't give the elder power they shouldn't get.

I tell you if you are persistent they can't do anything. They try but if you are persistent, they will leave you. I was an elder before.

23

Reinstated and then fade

by Zeds Dead in

i'm a man - d'fd for 2.5 years now and divorced.

find it hard to date girls out here only due to always having this secret i carry with me that i was once a jw and the thought of telling a girl one day why my family don't acknowledge me as even alive.. recently been thinking of trying to get reinstated and then do a quick fade as i cant go back to the whole jw stuff.. easier said than done and was turned down twice by elders after an immediate attempt 2 years ago.. my motivation for trying would be 1.

) to see if family make contact and 2) play the last hand in their game and give the middle finger.. interested in viewpoints?.

Daniel1555

Don't hesitate to talk openly about your jw past to a trusted person.

Most or nearly all I told were extremely helpful and loving.

17

Low Day For Me Today

by pale.emperor in

hi guys.

it's been about 4 or 5 weeks since i was disfellowshipped.

so far it's been easy, i enjoyed being left alone, no one bothering me, no one telling me i need to do more, need to reach out, questioning why i didnt go on the ministry, and the fact that my ex-wifes family cant talk to me even if they wanted to.

Daniel1555

That's a hard situation, to still attend when your ex and her family are in the same congregation.

Only you know, what is best to do in your situation.

I can tell you what I did. I am also divorced, df'd for apostacy, left alone by all my jw friends, my ex trying to limit my time with my son (3 years) as she said that she always will take him to the meetings, even if it is during my visitation time.

I'd never ever try to get reinstated. If someone is shunning me, it is their problem. However I am glad, that my parents don't shun me.

I slowly made new friends, who don't drop me just because I feel or think differently. I enjoy my free time, no service, no meeting anymore. I do some volunteer work of which I hope my son will be proud of me one day. And most importantly, I fight for my visitation time, I went to court and got the right to be with him every second weekend from Friday till Sunday and shared custody. Also my ex has to accept, that if he is with me, there'll be no Friday and no Sunday meeting for my son.

I celebrate his birthday with him and make it known to him that I don't follow all those crazy JW rules and that there is a world outside of JW life. I try my best to show him a moral way of life that is based on love, compassion, human rights and freedom. I show him tolerance of many different religious views. And I do everything that he has happy moments with me and that he feels loved by me. Love is the greatest weapon to counteract his indoctrination.

But I could never ever pretend to be a JW and hide something in front of my son.

Children are very smart. From an early age they realize when you are pretending something you are not.

If your daughter is older and she realizes your true feelings, I bet that you'll be df'd again.

You could ask yourself:

Would I allow a blood transfusion, if my daughter needed it?

Do I wanna raise my daughter in JW ways, when she is with me during my visitation time?

I was disfellowshipped for those reasons. Because I told them that I would never ever let him bleed to death and because I celebrated his birthday and because I didn't believe that a god of love commanded all those cruel things in the bible and that he never ever would kill innocent children or those who don't believe in him in armaggeddon. I openly told them that their shunning rules are against human rights.

I am happy and proud that I was df'd for those reasons. I am sure one day my son is older will understand and be proud and happy too that I give him a view of a different life than the JW life.

I know that this all and your situation is hard and that sometimes you feel low. But you are courageous and strong and a great daddy for your girl. She'll be proud of you.

12

How do i keep seeing my daughter when she turns 18

by agnosticnow in

hi.i have a 13 year old daughter that i still have for a limited time as she comes to stay about one night a month at present.the law here in australia is on my side in that the australian governments stand is that the child needs regular access to both parents .

i am currently arranging for mediation to have her more often .

her mother can not stand that i am living with another woman and doesn't want her here .

Daniel1555

Don't give up and fight for your time with her.

Shower her with all the love you have. If you have a relationship that is built on love you don't have to worry.

When she is 18 she'll be an adult and can decide for herself how much time she wants to spend with her mum or dad. This can be positive for you.

You'll always be her dad. Be happy about it. You'll have many wonderful moments with her.

Don't speak negative about her mother, in fact speak positive about her.

Give her freedom to decide about different things, also religion.

Let her know that you love her no matter which religion she follows and that she can change her religion a thousand times or even don't follow one.

When she asks why you don't follow the JW faith, you can tell her. Maybe you can let her know about the Australian Royal Commission cases. Or recommend her to research herself about her faith.

Maybe at the right moment you could also talk to her about your fear, that she might shun you. Show her how shunning is against the UN declaration of human rights and that these ethical values are so important for human life.

But don't force your views on her.

I am in a similar situation. I also had to fight for my time with my son. The judge decided that I can be twice every second weekend for 2.5 days with him. He is nearly 4 years old now.

The poster "Driving Force" has great advice for you, as he also has a teenage daughter.

I wish you all the best.

46

Mark Sanderson wears an Apple Watch at regional convention

by Edison Trent in

last weekend was regional convention and mark sanderson was the bethel speaker for the last talks every day.

his talks were video streamed from zurich to other cities in switzerland, austria and germany.

one interesting point was that he wore an apple watch, stainless steel edition (link).

Daniel1555

DD..... i just love your posts.... 😂

32

Who Owns the Copyright to Crisis of Conscience?

by Hold Me-Thrill Me in

jw
friends

recently there was a thread where someone asked if there was a copy of crisis of conscience they could purchase.

raymond franz it seems had limited resources yet he was able to provide crisis of conscience in printed form to what?

thousands?

Daniel1555

There were sone threads on this forum about the copyright holder of coc.

It's a woman named Dykstra. She promised to make it available legally, but nothing really happened.

Here are some threads:

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5690164928053248/availability-crisis-conscience

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5754137698369536/this-right-cedars-threatens-what-say-you?page=1&size=20

75

I came here three years ago for support and to make friends

by KateWild in

jw
friends

this site is such a great and valuable resource and simon is to be commended for running it for so long.

when i first came i was in such a bad state and really needed support and friendship.

so many posters commented on my threads and showed genuine care some are real life friends, some are facebook friends, some i talk to on the phone and some are forum friends.. i have just realised though that everyone online is not your friend.

Daniel1555

Hi Kate

I know your threads and posts from the beginning.

I comment on some of your threads and I know your story and also listened to your jc meeting.

I like very much how you welcome new posters and I also share some of your views.

Just a little advice I can give:

If somebody comments critically you can think of the points made if they were honest and genuine. By the way that's what you made on this thread by the things Simon said. It can be very hard to analize and even accept these things but it can be also good.

Don't take it too seriously. If someone dislikes you or speaks against you; ignore it. Don't be upset and offended here in the forum (in real life it might be a different story). Especially if you post controversial topics like if there is a god or creator or if evolution is guided by a higher power you know that there will be many posters who are full blown atheists and speak against any idea or belief indicating that there might be a god. But that's ok; it's a matter of personal faith (by the way i personally believe too that god or a higher power is behind evolution and the universe).

And one important thing. I know of your family tragedy and I feel your pain being separate of your children or your son. I myself feel this pain as I see my son every second weekend.

I like it that your son wants you in his life. Children need both parents. Even if he choses to be with you, he also needs some time with his dad, even though he will tell him jw things. Your son is old enough to make his own decisions about religion. I think he will love you even more, if he lives with you and if you speak positively about his dad. If he hurt you very much it would be good if you can forgive him and that your son knows you forgave him. If that's hard you could view him as a victim of the jw indoctrination.

And one important advice:

DON'T POST PICTURES OF YOUR SON IN THE FORUM.

He has the right to decide if his picture is posted in social networks especially in a forum like this. I understand that you were so happy at that moment. But it could backlash especially if your dad knows that you post his picture in a an "apostate" forum.

I wish you from my heart all the best in your life and that the relationship between you and your children will always be full of love.

You are a good and courageous example of someone who had a lot of struggles to leave this cult.

I love that you try your best to help others who are also in this difficult situation.

22

Yoga. Evil practice?

by Darkknight757 in

as our fade continues, the wife and i have decided to take up "the forbidden practice of.......yoga"!!!!😱.

i was quite skeptical at first but so far it has really de-stressed our life in quite a spectacular way!!

not to mention the physical benefits.. anyone else try yoga or a similar discipline?

Daniel1555

My mum is very much in and a devout JW.

However she doesn't shun me, her disfellowshipped son and she goes to Yoga courses too.