For me I knew something fishy was going on in the cong, about a month or two after I left my mom told me how 2 elders had stepped down, one moved to another congregation (conviently close enough so that he didn't have to move) and another elder was publicly reproved. Revenge is a dish best served cold my friend, I know it's hard to wait but if they're truly doing some whacked out wild stuff they'll get hell for it.
Tuesday
JoinedPosts by Tuesday
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13
Another nite at work, thinking how to get the elders back...
by dustyb ini remember a post a few days ago titled "have you ever gotten back at the congregation/elders" or somethin like that.
and now.....i think i have the answer.
all these elders think they can go around, saying their shit doesn't stink and disfellowship anyone who disagree's with them or the organization, or if they "get ahead of jehovah".
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54
Another survey from Lee
by Lady Lee inreading simon's post about how things used to be i started thinking about how the internet has changed things.
many believe the internet and the freedom of information it contains will be the undoing of the wts.. when i was a jw, there were a few dfings but maybe one a year or even less.
people drifted away but we really didn't pay a lot of attention unless it was a close friend.. in here we see new people coming in all the time.
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Tuesday
- What year did you leave? 2000
- How old were you when you left? 19
- Did the internet have anything to do with your decision to leave? A Bit, I definetly read some sites and even communicated with people on Tishie's old board.
- If you left before you got on the internet what reading did you do about the WTS or cults that helped you make your decision? The one thing that really got me was Anton's Witness Outreach UK, his disfellowshipping hearring was awesome, and I also love Beyond Jehovah's Witnesses and the questions posed there like Do you really think a Lion was originally supposed to eat grass?
- What was the one most important reason that helped you decide to leave (even if the decision was made for you through a DFing). Just didn't feel like it was the right place for me, (see previous post) my other friends were gone what was the point of staying.
- If you left and still thought it was "the truth" what helped you change your mind? I had some dreams about it being "the truth" then I had a dream where Armageddon had already occured but I had survived. I met all the rest of the survivors in my area which was from my congregation and was fet up with their stupidity of just waiting on Jehovah while I wanted to get some water or something. I left the group and made my own civilization. As dumb as that sounds that dream is what made me believe I made the right choice.
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3
So sad to say...
by Tuesday ini was reading an earlier post from people who are still jw's and are basically trapped in their life as they have it now; it got my own mind turning and finding out the exact moment when i decided i was leaving.
quick backstory: mom is a jw, dad is a well known apostate (when i was an adolecent and questioning things he asked me if i wanted to speak to ray franz, i kid not he had his number), lucky me my sister and i were given into my mother's custody.
so in my musings i realized my whole life was somewhat of a dichotomy, i remember my first christmas going to my dad's house and on my christmas list were bible toys of david, and samson.
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Tuesday
I was reading an earlier post from people who are still JW's and are basically trapped in their life as they have it now; it got my own mind turning and finding out the exact moment when I decided I was leaving. Quick backstory: Mom is a JW, Dad is a well known apostate (when I was an adolecent and questioning things he asked me if I wanted to speak to Ray Franz, I kid not he had his number), lucky me my sister and I were given into my mother's custody. So in my musings I realized my whole life was somewhat of a dichotomy, I remember my first christmas going to my Dad's house and on my christmas list were bible toys of David, and Samson. But ever since I was about 8 I didn't want to be a JW, it was too much of an inconvinience, my friends that were JW's didn't want to be JW's because it was and inconvinience. As I got older the more of a hassle it became, I couldn't grow long hair (which was the ultimate reason I came in conflict with the elders), I couldn't swear (I now have a mouth that is dirtier than Andrew Dice Clay), I couldn't hang out with my worldly friends, or take lessons in things I wanted to do (like pro wrestling, I'm now a pro wrestler), it all just became too hard for me. It wasn't the doctrine, it wasn't the hypocracy (no matter how much I tell people who ask why I left about what I found out), it was just a lifestyle that I didn't like or want any part of. I could've left earlier, I could've left when I was 13, that would've been too hard though living with my mother all that time through High School. I left when I was 19 a year into college (and the first in my congregation to do it too). I became a pro wrestler and that took my time on weekends and school took all of my time during the week, I was never home to deal with the after effects. But really it was just the last step in my slow drawing out anyway.
People say it's the connections that keep you in. For the most part I believe that, I was in till I was 19 because I had a strong group of friends, then my friend's brother Jose (who was a friend too I guess) was disassociated, then his brother Luis (my best friend at the time), then my younger friend Chris left (the four of us constantly hung out when I was younger). The person I looked up to Joel moved away to another congregation and finally the girl I had a huge crush on and was a very good friend, Crystal was disfellowshipped. I grew my hair long and then the rest of my friends stopped talking to me. That was the end for me, so I guess the point of this whole post is just to say that things are catalysts. You may be in now but it honestly would only take one small thing to put into motion a whole list of things that will lead to your eventual leaving. It's just a matter of what that one thing is. It didn't take courage for me to leave, just an opportunity. Now I'm out, married, happy and at a great job (which I need to get back to) I love my free Tuesday and Thursday nights and Sunday morning, Lord is it great to sleep in. The grass is always greener, so just come to the other side of the fence.
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20
What album make you feel better?
by Nosferatu inis there a certain album that you own that just makes you feel a hell of a lot better?
for me, it's cinderella's "still climbing" album.
it's about life in general, about how it sucks, but you gotta make it work for yourself.
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Tuesday
Kilgore Smudge "Blue Collar Solitude"
Blue Collar Zen Lyrics
See it lies before me somewhere
Free me from my life of woe
I remember feeling low
I remember swallowing
Last sips of beer before I hit the floor
You'll always reap from what you sow
Just keep on telling yourself not far to go
And from whatever you may know
Live for today and gain your soul
Say that my life has no meaning
Well I'll remain on this couch alone
I remember talking shit
Throwing punches around
Before one hit me right between the eyes
You'll always reap from what you sow
Just keep on telling yourself not far to go
And from whatever you may know
Live for today and gain your soul
Need some time to keep away
Need some time to slip away
Need some time to keep away
A little time to slip away
I Hate You
And everything you stand for too
You'll always reap from what you sow
Just keep on telling yourself not far to go
And from whatever you may know
Live for today and gain your soulCleaner Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kilgore Smudge
(Print the Lyrics)
Cleaner Lyrics
No apologies accepted
You did this once before, just another game
Now you're trying to keep score
Your open hand is rejected
You'll never be a part of me
When you're on your knees
Well then you'll see
Better find a way
Right now, to say yeah means no
Then you'll see
Sometimes
Could you still be blind now that I can see
Sometimes
Could you just leave me here dying in peace
Just fuckin' sorted my life out
Pushed behind all memories
And agony that you brought to me
Now that scream for attention
You lost your grip so long ago
When you find yourself maybe you'll know
Better find a way
Right now, to say yeah means no
Then you'll see
Sometimes
Could you still be blind now that I can see
Sometimes
Could you just leave me here dying in peace
Waste
I shit you
Waste
You'll never ever be
Die Cast Mold Lyrics
All of your opinions will be scrutinized
You see your morals and beliefs
Are not your own
You've got to
Follow the flock, catch up and stay in line
Or they'll take away the keys
To your own damn mind
Your soul is not your own
Your contributions will be recognized
Only if they help to oil the machine
In retribution you've got to realize
You got to pick up a gun to be seen
All of your ambitions will be demoralized
You see you're only playing with half a deck
Once again do you have to be told
About the way you live your life
In your die cast mold
Shut up and only obey me
Your contributions will be recognized
Only if they help to oil the machine
In retribution you've got to realize
You got to pick up a gun to be seen
All your applications will be denied
You see you don't look and act like us
My words hit hard as fist listen to what I say
Or you will live a sheltered life ‘til your dying day
There ain't no way out
Your own ambitions
Your applications
Your own opinions don't mean shit
Your contributions
In retribution
You will find that there ain't no way
Out!
Fridgafloor Lyrics
Wrap my head in cellophane
And place it in my Kenmore
Maybe when we're not so full
We can eat it all by four
Thoughts drip out from the ears
And fall into my open beer
Penetrate the hardwood floors
And fester there forevermore
Evermore
Don't close that door
I'm in your floor
Evermore
Everything here that you see
Is right here in front of me
Wipe your feet before my head
And think no thoughts before I'm dead
My plastic body's wrapped in chains
Confuse the thoughts inside my brain
Even though I was told
When I was born they broke the mold
Broke the mold
Can't get a hold
Of what I control
Broke the mold
When will the play of words begin
The angry crowd protests with murder
Naked meat enters stage left
She begins a speech and the men get a hard-on
Tears come to eyes
But men with muscles cannot cry
Words slur to sighs
Placed in the fridge before she dies
Tears come to eyes
But men with muscles cannot cry
Words slur to sighs
Placed in the fridge before she dies
If it's not me that you see
I doubt very much that'll ever be
A man who thinks much more
Don't be afraid. I'm in your floor
In your floor
Don't close that door
I'm in your floor
EvermoreHangtime Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kilgore Smudge
(Print the Lyrics)
Hangtime Lyrics
Been pounded by the powers that be
Stripped of everything that is me
Lookin' back I'm being chased by my ignorance
And up ahead there ain't nothing but a fence
Right now I'm hanging on
To my friends and the ones I love
Time's still wasting on
With pain below and above
Been told that Jesus is the way to see
Go out and join a religious ministry
Well you can lick my fuckin' rod
‘Cuz I believe in a merciful God
Right now I'm hanging on
To my friends and the ones I love
Time's still wasting on
With pain below and above
I know when it's my time to live
You see I only got one life to live
And there's only so much that I have to give
Future's not as dark as it seems
If you just hold onto your dreams
Right now I'm hanging on
To my friends and the ones I love
Time's still wasting on
With pain below and aboveMetamorphosis Lyrics
Do you remember me Lord?
You're gonna find out I am a bug
Crawling up and down your spine
We're gonna fuck it up together
And make it mine
Do you remember me Lord?
Mother, help me find myself alone
Do you wish to help me find a home
Metamorphosis
Do you remember me?
‘Cause I'm a freaky baby
Well can't you see?
Crawling up and down your spine
We're gonna fuck it up together
And make it mine
Do you remember me?
Mother, help me find myself alone
Father, sister, help me find a home
MetamorphosisMiddleway Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kilgore Smudge
(Print the Lyrics)
Middleway Lyrics
You see the body is the Buddhi tree
The mind a clear mirror of me
Strive to clean so as to see
And not let the dust gather to be
Oh Charioteer
What is here?
You see the sick, old, dying and wisdom
For the Fourth I'd give all my kingdom
There's got to be a way.
Will I die, will I cry
Will I suffer, what words shall I pick to say?
Will I love, will I hate
In between there's got to be a way
Will I grow old, shall I break the mold
And follow the Buddha?
Am I wrong?
The coin toss always ends up Sunyata
I'm sick of all your religion
That's not infinite wisdom
Maybe here in material needs
I'll find the answer to my dreams
Oh Charioteer
What is here?
Maybe here in this mountain stream
I'll find the answers to my dreams
Yeah.
There's got to be a way
Will I die, will I cry
Will I suffer, what words shall I pick to say?
Will I love, will I hate
In between there's got to be a way
Will I grow old, shall I break the mold
And follow the Buddha?
Am I wrong?
The coin toss always ends up SunyataSenorita Beefeater Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kilgore Smudge
(Print the Lyrics)
Senorita Beefeater Lyrics
Everyone's footsteps pound like hammers
to my brain
And all the lives I've broke
And all that remains
Everything, everyone around me reminds me
Of my sins
If I was Mr. Turtle Man
I'd pull my head back in
I'm not your Jesus
I'm not your
Here in my shell, alone I dwell
My so called friends come with pitchforks
And drag me off to hell
‘Cuz I made too many promises
That I can't alter
I may look like your Jesus
But I can't walk on water
I'm not your Jesus
I'm not your
False, indifference
Not really here right
Just a lump of clay with a crown of thorns
Could've been the leader of the master race
Or a Greek poet before I was born
My soul is not my own
It's shared with a thousand fading dreams
Exposed to the naked eye is why
I'm always picked last on the team
I'm not your Jesus
I'm not yourTherapy Lyrics
You put up a good front man
Trashing everything you see
I can see behind your eyes
You're hurting inside just like me
Your mind's a dark cloud
Should you keep your feelings in
Or cry out loud
Clouds parted, rain's gone
I let out my aggression
When I write these songs
Look to the skies above
Seek your disguise alone
See the choice you made
For all the times you've cried
There will be never be enough tissue
To dry your eyes
Look at all the choices you made
With the dark clouds raining on your parade
For all the lies you ever spoke
And all the lives you ever broke
Another friend betrayed
Visions of the past keep you afraid
Look to the skies above
Seek your disguise alone
See the choice you made
Enough of your whining
You're making me sick
You think you're alone that's not the last of it
For the rest of your life you'll be on your knees
‘Til that day a hundred dollars please
Look to the skies above
Seek your disguise alone
See the choice you madeThree Lyrics
Heart of stone, has turned to clay
Angelic woman guided me from my evil ways
Needed something to forget yesterday
Caress my hand, please take me away
Do you remember seeing me in heaven?
I remember swallowin' every bit of my pride
Do you remember seeing me in limbo?
I remember wallowin' in every bit of my shit
And then I'm crying for
I need you to show me the one
I need you to take me away
I'd like to tell you ‘bout my problem
Every single word, I ever said is a lie
You seem to help me with my problem
Slap me in the face and rub my nose in my shit
And then I'm crying for
I need you to show me the one
I need you to take me away
I thought I was invincible
‘Til I saw myself
I tried to live young at heart
But my mind is older nowTrial Lyrics
Seems like I'll never find
My peace of mind
I must be blind
To not see in front of me
My self-inflicted warning signs
And even though I pay my sins
With blood and sweat and jugs of wine
No matter how much I give
I owe, I owe, I owe, I owe
Save me
But pay the toll
Not far to go
Just like Josef K.
Don't seem to know just what I owe
This aching pleasure to be
Weighed upon my aching soul
And on these two bare feet
I'm made to walk that hundredth mile
To blister in the sun of
My trial, my trial, my trial, my trial
Save me
But pay the toll
Not far to go
Save me
But pay the toll
Not far to go
All I owe
That's the albumn I listen to almost everyday, it's like the singer was a dub himself; but when I met him he wasn't he was raised catholic (he lives in the same town I do). Guess we all have religious issues eh? -
25
Were You Ever "Marked" or Shunned?
by minimus inhow many here either were "marked" or "shunned" in some way?
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Tuesday
I remember an elder telling me that "many won't associate with you" because I had long hair. Oh and of course that he "didn't blame them for not wanting to associate with" me. So I guess I was marked but I've always been really funny so alot of people just wanted to talk with me to laugh. I was never disassociated but who knows now, I haven't been close to a meeting in about 2 years ( I went to the memorial a while ago).
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15
Whats the first thing you wanted to do?
by Strawberryfieldsforever inafter learning the truth about the truth, whats the very first thing you wanted to do?
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Tuesday
The first thing I wanted to do is find some friends that were disfellowshipped shortly before I left, I'm still waiting to do that :( The first thing I actually did was watch the Thursday night line-up on NBC.
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Have you gained weight since leaving the Borg?
by badwillie inwell, sadly i have.
probably like 15 pounds or so.
i feel like shit physically.
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Tuesday
Yeah actually, about 50 lbs. But then again I was anorexic when I was in and now am getting into body building.
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23
God Told Him It's Bush In A Blowout!......Per Pat Robertson
by minimus ini thought you should know the good news.
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Tuesday
God will tell him stupid stuff like whether Bush is going to win the next election but won't tell me the important stuff like the numbers to win the 200 and something MILLION dollar powerball. God chooses some strange bed fellows.
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Not much to do with JW's...
by Tuesday inbut cool news literally.
i was on a benefit(pro-wrestling) show for the pawtucket mills fire which left some people homeless and abc 6 (rhode island area) taped a bunch of my stuff and almost exclusively showed my match for the news cast.
it was pretty cool we picked up my sister at 9:00 from the airport and when we got back to our house it was on.
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Tuesday
But cool news literally. I was on a benefit(pro-wrestling) show for the Pawtucket Mills fire which left some people homeless and ABC 6 (Rhode Island area) taped a bunch of my stuff and almost exclusively showed my match for the news cast. It was pretty cool we picked up my sister at 9:00 from the airport and when we got back to our house it was on. Quite a homecoming for her, she was really proud.
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48
A serious question about the angels that materialized pre-flood
by TweetieBird inaccording to the bible, the angels saw the daughters of men, materialized into human bodies and married the women, had children.
here's my question...did they create for themselves a human body or did they transform themselves into a human body that already existed?
i know this may seem silly, but i was just wondering where the sperm came from to impregnate the women?
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Tuesday
I heard that they created bodies like God created Adam, during the flood they just left their bodies to go back to heaven; God told them they couldn't come back so they became demons BUT God also commanded that they could no longer create human bodies to inhabit. Hence why all demons hassling humans all take a "ghost-like" form. At least that's what my mommy told me. Sounds an awful lot like Greek Mythology eh?