unique1

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Posts by unique1

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  11

  Feelings

  by LearningToFly in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i feel the need to share how i am feeling at this very moment.

  sad, so sad ( i have a huge lump in my throat that won't go away) for all the pain suffered by so many here, myself included.

  you are all such lovely people, strong, honest and real.

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  unique1

  Maybe that is what I need to do. Have an arguement with God. He never really says anything though so I strongly suspect it will be one sided.
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  25

  Does the news still scare anyone else?

  by YoungAmerican in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was just wondering how many of you still get a quezy feeling in your stomach after hearing someone on the news use the phrase "peace and security" or after reports on the news of all the large earthquakes that have been reported this last week or so?

  i know we can all rationalize that there are always earthquakes and wars etc.... but i swear, no matter how hard i try to shake the sick feeling in my stomach when i hear all this stuff i can't seem to do it.

  i still have visions in my head of what armagedon will be like from all the pictures i grew up seeing in the publications, talk about scarred for life.

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  unique1

  It takes time. When I hear that phrase Peace and Security (which thanks to the Iraq war) I haven't heard in a long time, I immediately think Armageddon. Then I realize that is merely brain washing in effect.

  If you haven't read Crisis of Conscience yet, I suggest you do. It is a real eye opener.
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  15

  Learning About Self

  by R.F. in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i must say that i haven't had an internal struggle with myself before as i've had in recent months.

  i'm learning so much about myself....about the kind of person i truly am, more about my flaws, my weaknesses, my strengths, the person i want to be, etc.

  i'm learning more and more about having a more realistic view of dealing with life.

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  unique1

  Kudos!! Time for new goals??
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  32

  Cried myself to sleep last night

  by unique1 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was laying in bed and trying to drift off to sleep.

  all of a sudden i had a vision of my father building our dining room table.

  we moved when i was four and this was at our old house so i must have been pretty young.

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  unique1

  I was laying in bed and trying to drift off to sleep. All of a sudden I had a vision of my father building our dining room table. We moved when I was four and this was at our old house so I must have been pretty young. His motorcycle was sitting in the front yard along with knotty wood that dad was sanding and staining and putting together to make the Large dining table my mom had always wanted for entertaining and couldn't afford. I just burst out crying. I miss him so much.

  We lived in a camper when I was 14 for a year. My mother was menopausal (she is a bitch to begin with imagine that PLUS menopause) at the time and Dad was all I had. I contemplated suicide many times in life, but the thoughts of letting my father down were too much. My dad and my friends were what got me through those tough teen years.

  Now, I have nothing in the way of a father. He won't speak to me. He would rather shun me and leave his only daughter behind. How could someone do that? It seem so incomprehensible to me. I know, they think not speaking to me shows their love and I know it is their jacked up religion. I just want to know when it will stop sneaking up on me like that. I had been happy for months. Dealing with it. THen suddenly no more.

  I keep thinking this bad feeling I have along with memories of him may mean something bad has happened to him. Then I think, maybe this is just what a broken heart feels like.
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  2

  BIG LOVE - How many others cried?

  by unique1 in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  when barb said to her mother something to the effect of: i don't know if i will see you in the after life or not.

  if i will see dad?

  but what i do know is that i want to see you in this life.

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  unique1

  Really, it was just me??? Wow, If you don't watch this show you should. It really adresses a lot of the shunning practices by the LDS. Now, if they could just expose the witnesses for the same thing.
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  33

  My Sister's Visit

  by Sunspot in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  most of you know that my family disowned me in 1972 when i was baptized into the wts.

  i have only one sibling, a kid sister .

  i was thrilled, but nervous, not having a clue how things would go and trying to keep in mind all the things i should not say as well as things i was eager to find out about, concerning the rest of the family i have had no contact with.. the moment we laid eyes on each other (and recovered frm the gigundo hug), it all went just great!!!

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  unique1

  That is so cool. I am glad you were able to reconcile!!
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  12

  Does anyone else feel like this???

  by YoungAmerican in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i don't post much but sure do love reading everyone else's post.

  everyone here for the most part seems so normal (for apostates, haha).

  so, i was born and raised a jw, baptized at 14, disfellowshipped at 17, reinstated at 28. the only reason i think i did that was because after 10 years of no contact with my father, mother and little sister they came to visit me (they lived on the east coast i live on the west coast) and i was so overwhelmed with seeing them and talking to them and hugging them, i wanted so much to please them and have a relationship with them again that i fooled myself into thinking i needed the "organization" and jehovah's approval to be worthy of their love.

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  unique1

  You have to do what you feel you have to do. Sometimes that means losing the ones you love. I hope you find your way to a happy resolve.
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  40

  Need Everybody's Help!!

  by Metamorphosis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok - i've placed myself in a make or break situation.

  i don't post a lot so you may not be familiar with me, but feel free to read my initial post on my situation.

  a little has changed - i've now not turned in a service report the last two months (june and july) - first time in 25+ years, it feels great!

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  unique1

  Holy Crap. My suggestion, put it in a binder with sections so she can read and digest one at a time.
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  2

  BIG LOVE - How many others cried?

  by unique1 in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  when barb said to her mother something to the effect of: i don't know if i will see you in the after life or not.

  if i will see dad?

  but what i do know is that i want to see you in this life.

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  unique1

  When Barb said to her mother something to the effect of: I don't know if I will see you in the after life or not. If I will see dad? But what I do know is that I want to see you in this life." The tears started coming.

  Then there was the snakes thing. I had trouble sleeping after that. That whole My Book of Bible Stories thing again.
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  38

  The Sh** has hit the fan.....

  by ex-nj-jw in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  mom called me, she got my letter.

  yeah you guessed it, i am the devil himself.

  she told me to never again speak to her, because i'm evil and satan has taken over my mind, body and any common sense she ever gave me .

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  unique1

  WOW, what is with your siblings asking for money? Is that what siblings do? I don't know, don't have any. My mom is equally crazy though. My dad is crazier than yours. (((((((((HUGS))))))) You aren't alone.