I probably am on her last nerve, she brings her work home with her and it stresses her out, she was injured at work and now that's a court case that's going on.
OK,
- She's had a miscarriage
- She's overwhelmed at work
- She was injured on the job and it turned into a court case
- The house is a wreck
- She's been married 8 months
- Her new husband is bitching and complaining because she's not little Mary sunshine all the time
Good god, man, if she's not throwing cups at you and making holes in the wall while she's doing the dishes (which I believe I did during our first year of marriage, although he wasn't helping with the housework at all) then trust me, it could be worse. If she has never, during an argument, says that she wishes your parents had never met, she's probably holding back a little. I could be wrong, but the snapping and sniping sound like she'd like to cut loose on you, but is holding back. That never worked too well for me.
I completely understand stress makes people irritable.
OK, you 'understand' it, but how understanding about it are you? Especially Long term?
I also know while my account is of this morning, it's pretty much the way it is every morning.
Maybe she's just not a morning person. Maybe the thought of having to get up and go to work at a place she's in a lawsuit with is not especially cheerful, either.
I feel really stupid defending myself but I was just honestly asking for some advice from people who are married and have been for longer than myself.
Well, then don't whine about it if the advice is tough on you, instead of patting you on the head and saying "Oh poor baby, she sounds like a bitch, you're the innocent party." My husband and I have had some rough times in our marriage. We don't always get along, but we have always been determined to stay together. My grandma gave me 2 pieces of advice when we got married. Both are stellar:
- Move as far away from both sets of parents as humanly possible
- Don't complain to your family or friends when he does something that p*sses you off. You'll forgive and forget. They won't.
Maybe it is my fault for not crying about the miscarriage, it must be something I've done in not washing the dishes the second I was asked, or cleaning the bedroom every night. (sentence moved to below) I guess I should just apologize for being uncaring and unsensative, oh yeah and asking other people advice. Yeah I'm a dick for trying to find out positive ways to change our marriage for the better before things get worse.
Wah. Want a little cheese with that whine? Do you get all defensive and sarcastic with her immediately if she tells you something you don't want to hear? If you just want people to take your side, don't ask for advice, just go to the bar with your buddies and complain. I didn't say it was all your fault, but I don't think it's probably all hers either. Sometimes she's unpleasant to be around. I bet you are too, and you either don't realize it or excuse it. Most of us are like that.
I believe it probably is my fault for not bringing it up sooner but honestly how do you bring something like this up?
Oh, for god's sake! You can have sex with the woman but you can't just say to her, "I love you. We've been fighting alot lately. I'm really sorry things have been bad at work, and we've never really talked about the baby. I try to be supportive but it's hard, and sometimes I screw up. I can tell you're really angry at me. I want to get through this and have a good marriage. I know we can." ??? I will never cease to be amazed at people who act like talking about stuff is too hard. Yeah, it's hard. So get over it. Just open your mouth and say it. Either that or live in a messy house with a woman who's snapping at you all the time. Which is easier? Your call.
The posters who suggested a marriage counselor were giving good advice. Especially if you find it hard to talk to each other.
I have a cartoon on my fridge, that shows a guy asking an old couple how many years they've been happily married. They reply, "Two. 1957 and 1999." It doesn't have to be like that but it will be if you talk to other people about the problems in your marriage, instead of your wife.