Posts by asleif_dufansdottir

When we were JWs in the late 80's (middle of the US) it seemed we were *constantly* getting counsel from the books, magazines and platform about how important it was for children's eternal lives that they should be physically disciplined if they would not sit perfectly still and pay attention throughout every minute of those hours of meetings (to say nothing of assemblies and conventions) per week. If they can't sit still, hit em harder. Make sure you take the diapers off the ones who are still wearing them so there's no 'padding' to keep them from getting the full effect of the spanking.

19

Public Speaking

by lonelysheep in

jw
friends

how do you get over the jitters to talk in front of people??

i have a speech class and make my first one tomorrow.

i'm f'ing petrified, despite everything we've talked about in class.

asleif_dufansdottir

I've given a few talks about my master's topic at a local, regional and national meetings (society for applied anthro, society for human ecology...that type of thing), and have given advice to other grad students who told me it worked great for them.

First step: like your topic. Sounds pretty basic, right? Even if you don't get to pick your topic, find something in it that you think is cool and interesting that you'd like to share with others.

Second step: practice just talking about your topic. Informally. Tell people about your topic every chance you get. Corner strangers on the street. Do this often enough, and you learn 2 essential things:

1. what people are interested in about your topic (use this to keep your talk interesting)

2. what you need to say to explain your topic

3. (very important) what you can leave out and they'll still understand your point. (don't overexplain once your audience 'gets it') - learn this by paying close attention to what questions people ask when you give very short 'sound bytes' about your topic.

This is a multi-stage process and works best for thse who work with the same topic over a long period, but you can corner friends and family members for 'short term' topics too.

relax and enjoy telling people 'cool stuff' about a topic you like.

9

Update on my surgery, biopsy, etc

by asleif_dufansdottir in

jw
friends

i had my colonoscopy and hemorrhoid surgery yesterday (sorry if that's oversharing but it's easier just to say what type of surgery up front ;) ).. the prep for the colonoscopy was difficult, i couldn't have anything but clear liquids the day before, in addition to special stuff you have to drink to, as grandpa would have said, "clean you out good", and not even water yesterday.

that was difficult because my check-in time was so late (2 pm).

that was made even worse when i got back to pre-op and the nurse said my doctor was running 2-3 hours behind due to a particularly difficult surgery that morning (just what i wanted, last surgery of a hard day!!).

asleif_dufansdottir

Juni - re: comments on the husband...don't worry about saying something you'll regret. This hasn't been his finest hour, trust me. He was downright bitchy when we got home. I know he's worried about a lot of things, including the money (I just got my MA and am not employed yet althought student health insurance is covered til the first of Aug), and he was tired...but basically he was being a jerk. He was actually pissed I was throwing up (not *at* me, necessarily, just pissed). After 25 years, I recognize when he's being a jerk, whether I'm doped up from surgery or not.

The doc called in a new pain pill and anti-nausea pill prescrip for me but I have to wait til hubby gets home from work for it. (He doesn't get sick or vaca pay so he didn't take much time off work - he just left an hour early to be there when I got into recovery, which of course he wouldn't have needed to do since the surgeon was running so late...which pissed him off too).

Jeff-apparently the first few bowel movements are the reason for the major painkillers I don't know yet as this afternoon was the first time I could keep anything down (so far). You are given a stool softener and metamucil (etc). Don't be embarrassed, I actually asked the nurse your question about cleanliness, infection, etc. She said that since the incision is stitched up there's less risk. And also I have to do the sitz bath thing several times a day. They gave me all the signs of infection to watch for etc but apparently it's not terribly common if the surgery and post-op care is done well.

Feeling somewhat better, the nausea is *almost* gone...

Liz

9

Update on my surgery, biopsy, etc

by asleif_dufansdottir in

jw
friends

i had my colonoscopy and hemorrhoid surgery yesterday (sorry if that's oversharing but it's easier just to say what type of surgery up front ;) ).. the prep for the colonoscopy was difficult, i couldn't have anything but clear liquids the day before, in addition to special stuff you have to drink to, as grandpa would have said, "clean you out good", and not even water yesterday.

that was difficult because my check-in time was so late (2 pm).

that was made even worse when i got back to pre-op and the nurse said my doctor was running 2-3 hours behind due to a particularly difficult surgery that morning (just what i wanted, last surgery of a hard day!!).

asleif_dufansdottir

I had my colonoscopy and hemorrhoid surgery yesterday (sorry if that's oversharing but it's easier just to say what type of surgery up front ;) ).

The prep for the colonoscopy was difficult, I couldn't have anything but clear liquids the day before, in addition to special stuff you have to drink to, as grandpa would have said, "clean you out good", and not even water yesterday. That was difficult because my check-in time was so late (2 pm). That was made even worse when I got back to pre-op and the nurse said my doctor was running 2-3 hours behind due to a particularly difficult surgery that morning (just what I wanted, last surgery of a hard day!!). Thank goodness she hooked me up to IV right away, as I have to take a diuretic for blood pressure and get dehydrated.

Of course I was *out of it* after surgery so the doc talked to hubby, who is not the best reporter of verbatim conversations, but apparently the colonoscopy shows I'm "just fine" in that area of my anatomy, and the lump that the surgeon told me he wanted to biopsy because it might be anal cancer turned out to be a "non-healing fissure" so that was good news but the bad news was he had to cut quite a bit more as a result (I guess he didn't need to even biopsy it but I'll ask - as I said hubby is not the best reporter, me being in the hospital upsets him greatly).

I was nauseus from the anesthesia and threw up in recovery (yet again). And the percocet made me violently, violently ill from 11:30 to 2:30 (the middle of the night is always pleasant to be hugging the toilet). Hubby was really kind of bitchy because we didn't get out of the hospital til 8:30 (he kept trying and trying to wake me up in recovery so we could leave). He gets up for work at 5:30 so he wanted to get home, get me taken care of and get to bed.

(warning of what might be construed as moderately adult content below)

I'm wondering if another reason for his irritability was that, when the doctor came out to see him after the surgery, he quizzed him about whether we engaged in anal sex (we don't). I got the impression (since DH didn't want to discuss it *at all*) the doc thought that this was the cause of my condition of that part of my anatomy (which apparently the doctor considered fairly serious). From hubby's reaction it wasn't just an "oh, by the way" type of question. ;) He told me to "call the doctor yourself" if I want to know what he said after the surgery (!). I'll have to do that anyway as the percocet is obviously not going to work and it was *thoroughly impressed* upon me my all the nurses and docs I saw today that this was a very painful recovery and I should prevent pain rather than try to get it under control after it starts.

This all strikes me as kind of odd because none of the stuff I looked up on non-healing anal fissures (isn't the internet wonderful) says anything about anal sex other than as an aside...but then I'm chalking this up to hubby's reporting style rather than the surgeon.

I'm still nauseus but apparently I'll survive.

I have to go in for a more detailed mammogram but they can't get me in until the last of June for that one (sigh).

I wanted to let everyone who'd offered their support know (besides, I can't sleep when I'm nauseus ;) )

Liz

29

Agnostics demand ambiguity!

by Paralipomenon in

jw
friends

why let the theists and atheists have all the fun?

agnostics, let your voice be heard!

uncertainty for the masses!

asleif_dufansdottir

I'm a militant agnostic.

Our motto is:

I don't know.

And you don't know, either.

56

Today is Danny Haszard's birthday!

by Dogpatch in

jw
friends

give the man a heads up, although he would never make this known himself, but.... he's a jolly good fellow... :-)).

thanks for all you do danny, and have a happy next year!.

randy.

asleif_dufansdottir

Happy Birthday!!

70

No outlet for unattractive men in this society...

by Gregor in

jw
friends

they work hard and take care of their mothers.

they are loving uncles and kind hearted.

but they are 5'3', 290 lbs., bald at 35 and their personal interests are grounded in 3 stooges movies and star trek reruns.

asleif_dufansdottir

I have known a few guys in my life who were very open about having used prostitutes to take care of their "needs". Without exception, they had neither a 'normal' view of women or of sex. They saw all women, basically, as prostitutes...that sex was *always* in some way a financial transaction, and that *all* women had sex for money. Basically, they didn't really like women much.

I can't say whether their visits to prostitutes were the cause or the effect. But something was wrong somewhere.

15

Ups (finishing grad school) and downs (doc visits) ...I'm scared... :(

by asleif_dufansdottir in

jw
friends

last week i finished up grad school (master's degree).

i'm currently gainfully unemployed and my student health insurance runs out the first of august.. i've been to the doc so many times the last couple of weeks (sigh).

the first batch was relatively minor...i had a big splinter in my hand that the docs didn't find right away...3 visits, 2 courses of antibiotics and 2 in-office minor surgeries later, they *finally* got it out.

asleif_dufansdottir

Well, after a few days of really paying attention, I have to admit that my hemorrhoids really do bother me, but I have been managing to ignore/dismiss it for a long time. I have been having what I will euphamistically refer to as 'digestive disturbances' for a long time, so I don't really think the concern is that unwarranted, at this point. I just hate going to doctors and have a generous capacity for ignoring health issues (not good but as we've never had much money that's always been a concern).

I can't get in for the second mammogran until the last week of June As much as I hate going to doctors I like *waiting* to do so even less. Especially when I will almost certainly have no health insurance after Aug 1.

Thanks, everyone. Your good wishes have brought me to tears.