Prior to being DF'd when I was at a really low point emotionally & spiritually I kept having flowers delivered with a happy face on the card. Nothing else. The florist stated that the sender wanted to be anonymous. Being young and somewhat of a romantic at that age I believed I had a secret admirer of one of the young brothers. Months pass and a brother in our hall was reinstated and after chatting with him again he mentioned that he was the one sending the flowers as he noticed how different I was being or acting and wanted to encourage me. I don't think I ever really thanked him properly or told him really how wonderful those roses and the card made me feel. How ironic that none of the other brothers or sisters that saw me all the time noticed nothing and yet this one DF'd person was so sweet. I have not been in the position to be around any other DF'd (other than SPAZ now) but that really opened up my eyes to the fact that people are just people no matter if they are in the "truth" or not.
Posts by breal
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6Are DF'd ones in your congregation friendly with you?
by JH inwhen i was an active jw, everyone talked to me.
when some were df'd, they avoided me, not to be shunned.
now that i'm out of the org, "inactive since so many years", whenever i meet df'd people, they won't talk to me much.
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Sayings of wisdom
by Simon in1- i can only please one person per day.
today is not your day.
tomorrow is not looking good either.
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breal
“Often the very things that change our lives irrevocably originally go unnoticed.”
“Silence is the sound that can roar without sounding.
It is both deafening and listless and exposes the innermost secrets of the brain.”
The “bad” things in life serve to make us appreciate the good even more therefore few things are all bad.
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To dream or not to dream
by teejay inazaria started a thread yesterday asking: of all the people who have ever lived, who would we most like to spend a day with?
several made very touching comments about a parent or grandparent and it got me to thinking about something.
my (loyal jw) mother has issues of her own not all of them jw related but she and i have always gotten along although we've never really been that close.
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breal
"Broken dreams are much more devastating than a painful reality" ~ author unknown
Your post brought that quote to mind - not that I agree with it fully. Not sure either is better or worse but that somehow our reality and our dreams intertwine to get us through life. If one is too lost in dreaming then they may miss out on pleasures in real life and without dreams well where would one be?
Breal
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Is It Still A Man's World?
by Guest 77 inwhat, no anointed sisters on the gb?.
ok, i just used that question to get the ladies responses.. this week's news coverage had to do with a annika sorensen, a professional female golfer competing in a men's golf tournament.
according to the no spin zone o'reilly show, the majority of the people gave a thumbs down for a woman to compete in a man's tournament.
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breal
Guest 77 - hmm...not sure where I gave the idea of being against it - I am more of a "live and let live" or "to each there own" type of mentality. I simply won't watch the tournament - but then again I wouldn't watch if it was say Tiger Woods either as I am not into golf other than pitch n putt. As I said before more power to these women....and hey if she was invited she must have what it takes.
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Strange Memories..
by breal inabout 6 or 7 years ago after being df'd and shunned by family and friends for so many years.. i got to thinking that perhaps if i tried to get reinstated.
not entirely sure that i really wanted to or if it was simply an idea to do this and then just did a slow fade (if that is really possible) - then i would be able to be around my family and friends like old times again.
i even attended a few meetings in the new city i had moved to.
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breal
Thanks - the mood has past!
Nina - yep you are so right about feeling beautifully free
Thanks for the welcome outnfree & shamus.
Mystery - nope I don't ever want to go back...just thinking of phases since I have left and one thing led to another. I am very happy now with how my life is but like Nina says there is a scar.
Big Tex - Right you are! Much better off!
Cheers,
Breal
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Is It Still A Man's World?
by Guest 77 inwhat, no anointed sisters on the gb?.
ok, i just used that question to get the ladies responses.. this week's news coverage had to do with a annika sorensen, a professional female golfer competing in a men's golf tournament.
according to the no spin zone o'reilly show, the majority of the people gave a thumbs down for a woman to compete in a man's tournament.
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breal
The corp I work for seems to have a good mix of males to females IMHO.
As far as sports go being a smaller female I don't think that I am built correctly as some of the guys to play on the same teams. My husbands hockey division had a female player once and I did not find it fair to the guys at all as they were all raised right and could not bring themselves to check her or be very physical on the ice around her - not a good game to watch. I personally enjoying watching my men play hockey, football etc... more power to the women that are into it though.
Then it gets to the whole debate about careers like firefighters, police etc and all I can is that I am glad they try to open up the playing field there a bit - but if my house were burning down my 5'4" self could not carry my 6'2" husband out...however that is not so say some other female couldn't. In that case I believe it is to each there own and again more power to 'em!
I think the original post was more about the GB and the witnesses and the lack of logical reasoning behind the great divide between men & women.
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Strange Memories..
by breal inabout 6 or 7 years ago after being df'd and shunned by family and friends for so many years.. i got to thinking that perhaps if i tried to get reinstated.
not entirely sure that i really wanted to or if it was simply an idea to do this and then just did a slow fade (if that is really possible) - then i would be able to be around my family and friends like old times again.
i even attended a few meetings in the new city i had moved to.
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breal
About 6 or 7 years ago after being DF'd and shunned by family and friends for so many years.. I got to thinking that perhaps if I tried to get reinstated. Not entirely sure that I really wanted to or if it was simply an idea to do this and then just did a slow fade (if that is really possible) - then I would be able to be around my family and friends like old times again. I even attended a few meetings in the new city I had moved to. It was a heartwrenching experience. I remember not having a Bible or the songbook and just sitting there like a fool with everyone staring at me. The hardest part was not knowing the words to the songs and knowing that even in the place so far away from where I grew up and eventually was DF'd people were judging me once again.
Afterwards some elders approached me and I asked them for the appropriate tools needed to not feel like such an outcast on my journey to rejoin. They set up a meeting at my apartment with me to discuss my rights and the steps required. On the day of the meeting I stayed patiently waiting - not sure if I really wanted to go back or if I was off my rocker - evaluating all the things I would have to give up in order to gain back some aspects of my former life that I figured were worth it. Hours past...then days... no phone call to reschedule...no anything.
Then there was the time I got the phone call a few months prior to my wedding from my "now an elder" father. Telling me I should not get married etc, etc - like his "divorced, remarried, cheating, lying, drinking, smoking, disfellowshiped but reinstated & now an elder self" should feel in any way qualified to give me advice! Then getting my address so he could get the magazines sent to me (most likely just updating the local "DNC unless an elder" records). The magazines never arrived. No response to the wedding announcement, invitation or picture I sent him. (To clarify - I did leave the door open for him and all other family - as hard as it was to be even a small part of my life if they chose to.)
I would like to thank the elders first in my hall from my hometown for not giving a damn! (see my first post - lurker no more)
I would also like to thank the elders in my new hometown for not giving a damn!
Lastly I would like to thank my father who needed to ease his conscience & just recently reminded me that he is simply a sperm donor in my life after another 5 years without contact...
See everything does happen for a reason...because of these peoples lack of interest I am where I am today.
Ohh... this sounds all bitter/negative...that is really not me...just needed to vent after all these years (did not realize how much feelings I still had about all this stuff). Plus I got carried away - my originaly intention was solely to post to see if others had similar experience with "trying" to be reinstated for whatever reason after being DF'd or DA'd?! Is it simply another phase one goes through after leaving?
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Is It Still A Man's World?
by Guest 77 inwhat, no anointed sisters on the gb?.
ok, i just used that question to get the ladies responses.. this week's news coverage had to do with a annika sorensen, a professional female golfer competing in a men's golf tournament.
according to the no spin zone o'reilly show, the majority of the people gave a thumbs down for a woman to compete in a man's tournament.
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breal
Hi Guest 77 - perhaps I should have started my post with "from my perception" or "in the hall I attended" many moons ago before being DF'd - maybe it is not like this in all the halls? I vaguely recall that there was perhaps some scriptural understanding as to why things were like this, along with why sisters had to wear head coverings at some point (not sure if they still do) if they were to conduct a gathering like the prayer at the "service" coordination.
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Is It Still A Man's World?
by Guest 77 inwhat, no anointed sisters on the gb?.
ok, i just used that question to get the ladies responses.. this week's news coverage had to do with a annika sorensen, a professional female golfer competing in a men's golf tournament.
according to the no spin zone o'reilly show, the majority of the people gave a thumbs down for a woman to compete in a man's tournament.
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breal
It is not only the GB..m any things in the org seem sexist or chauvinistic … Elders, MS, people who handle mics… all males. Sisters are not able to address the congregation directly by giving talks solo… they can simply talk with another sister. U nless of course one is from an area/country where there are not enough brothers – then anything goes (ie missionaries in remote places).
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Do you ever feel like "I heard it all before...."
by ScoobySnax in.......like when you were a jw, or on this forum?......again again and again...............same ol' repetitive stuff just rehashed again and again?
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breal
Still a newbie so it's all new to me - but even if posts seem repetative to people who have been around a while I find that they simply open the door for more sharing or various ideas from different posters. As time passes people may also find that they welcome a chance to rehash an "old" or familiar topic as perhaps there ideas/opinions have changed.