Here comes another one of my epic but-a-comment-underneath-every-single-frekking-line posts:
Every congregation has them:
THE STORYTELLER: That publisher you just can't get away from.
Nope, none of those in my old KH.
THE GREETER: The publisher who makes it their goal to say "Hi, how ya
doin'?" to every person in the Hall.
Nope. We had a FRIGID hall.
THE LOVER: That sister who hugs and kisses everyone.
See above. Although there was a sister or two I was had been like this...sigh...***
THE Lil' RACER: That young boy who's always sitting in a chair for
running.
And always got the living sh*t smacked outta him straight after running into the CO's bookbag and spilling all the confidential Elders documents!
THE EVACUATORS: Those publishers who race to the door after the
meetings.
That would be me!
PAVAROTTI: That singing publisher behind you who convinces you that
you're mute.
We actually had one of these (but a diva, not a Pavarotti) at our hall, my mom always ensured we sat FAR away from her, she was DEAFENING!
THE "6TH MAN": The publisher who's always giving impromptu talks.
Nope.
THE ESCAPEE: The publisher who runs away when being given a talk
assignment slip.
That would be me. Although I gave about 4 talks total, so there wasn't much to run away from...
THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS: Those families who always sit in the exact
same seats.
HEHE, I still remember how they would glare at you if you sat in their seats.
RIP VAN WINKLE: That older brother who wakes up for the closing song
and prayer.
Yip. White hair, you name it.
THE WHIPLASH KIDS: Those sleeping kids whose heads spring up and down
with violent jerks.
AHAHA!
THE RAMBLER: You can count on him going overtime on his talk.
OH GOD, we had FAR too many of those at the Circuit Assemblies, damnit. You could see all the faithful champing at the bit to leave on a Sunday afternoon, and this guy was just going on and on and on...ARGH...
THE ADJUSTER: The speaker who always has to adjust his own mic for
himself.
And would then give a condescending look to the invariably very young, inexperienced publisher who had just rushed up to the podium to do it for him.
THE HIGHLIGHTERS: Those sisters who use 5 different colored markers
underline their Watchtowers.
What a waste of ink!
THE UNDERLINERS: Those publishers who underline every word of every
paragraph of their Watchtowers.
Oh, that's me. I would underline the whole paragraph, it was much quicker. None of that pesky 'actually reading the damn thing' stuff!
THE FRESHEN-UPS: Those sisters who spend most of their time in the
Ladies Room.
This would result in a glare from an Elder in a rear row if you tried it at my KH!
THE WEAK KIDNEY KIDS: Those kids who camp out in the bathroom.
See above. If you were a teenage boy, you got a quite hectic glare!
THE ASSIGNER: The Elder who's always busy assigning jobs to
ministerial servants before and after meetings.
Every KH has these...
THE MEMO MAN: The Elder who always has papers to hand out.
And these.
THE PHANTOM: The missing brother who always seems to have a "duty".
What would that "duty" be? Did he have the privilege of making sure the curtains were closed or something? :)
THE SATURDAY MORNING PREACHER: The brother conducting the meeting for
field service who talks for an hour.
Another person I'd like to introduce to my Colt .45!
MISS DAISY: That unsatisfied sister that you drive around in service
that always has a personal request.
I was too young to drive when I was a Dub, so this doesn't apply to me, but I'm sure there were a few Ms. Daisy's around.
THE MEDITATORS: The publishers who prefer to listen to the meetings
and meditate with their eyes closed.
That would be me! I was a very spiritual person...
THE AMISH: Publishers who don't use mics...they just speak right out.
*ROFL* This was actually considered very rude in my KH. Sometimes a brother doing the mikes wouldn't know where the hell the person he was supposed to give the mic to was, so the person would get pissed off and just comment straight out. It was about the most exciting thing that happened during the entire WT study usually.
THE SCREAMERS: Those kids who want to be heard.
They know what's coming to them, is all.
THE OBLIVIOUS ONES: Those sisters who no one hears because she holds
the mic on her lap while she's talking.
This was impossible at my KH, because we put the mics on poles.
THE KNUCKLEBALLER: That publisher who throws curve balls to the
conductor by his wacko comments.
AHAHA! Had a few of those...
THE ABC'ers: Those publishers who without fail answer the B and C
questions too.
The bastards! And I really thought they were idiots if I was going to try and answer a B or C question!
THE MAGICIAN: The conductor who wants you to read his mind for the
answer.
I liked it better when they ran out of time and only read the paragraphs, but didn't ask questions.
THE TERMINATOR: He gives all "W"s, especially to his wife.
HEHE! Luckily we didn't have any of those.
THE CLOCK MAN: He has every publisher in the hall working on "36C"
(timing).
But we did have a coupla these. Losers.
THE UTOPIAN DREAMER: He gives only "G"s because "they deserved it".
And too few of these.
THE ENCORE GIVER: He gives an encore presentation of the information
after every talk.
Didn't happen much, but was quite annoying.
THE FORGETTER: The one who always has to go back to his seat to get
the student's slip.
HEHE! All our Elders were like that!
[SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa - For Great Justice!
