Posts by Anne

31

Your thoughtful opinion is requested, please, on a possible proposal to free my wife from JWs

by lifelong humanist in

jw
friends

six years 'jw free', my wife is still in, although she's now nowhere neary as zealous as i was when in.

for this i'm grateful.. please take a moment to review my current situation as far as my wife's involvement is concerned with our 4, adult male children:.

my wife regularly contacts my dfd son, invites him and his wife to visit us, along with their 4 year old son, and thinks absolutely nothing of it!

Anne

Lifelong Humanist.... not like that, never like that. It could backfire badly. She could turn ultra militant JW and you would loose her completely.

Maybe you could introduce her to a few fun time-consuming hobbies? Find some new couple friends that you can both hang out with. Pretty soon she'll become less and less active, and slip away from them.

She sounds a little like my mom in that she would never give up her family. It maybe painful to watch. But if being a Witness makes her happy and it doesn't break up your family, I'd leave her to it. If she's not happy, talk to her about that. You'll make more headway by being kind and loving.

29

Hello id like to intruduce myself

by Belly in

jw
friends

ive been lurking this site for quite a while but for some reason never could muster up the courage to post.. let me give a little background on my self.. i am 18 and male an still living with my parents.

i was baptised at 15 basically against my will (by cracking under the pressure) but only truly broke out of the drone like mindswhen i was 17. since then its been totall choas in my life all of it stemming from the orginization of course.

my parents are the defenition of brainwashed wittnesses, my father even belives he is anointed.. after i got baptised i suffered from intense deppression and with a little soul searching, after a year i realized that i need some time for my self.

Anne

What are your plans? Are you still in high school. If so, and they try to throw you out go talk to your school counselor. They can be a good resource as to help that is available. It may buy you another year, as your parents wouldn't want to bring reproach?

If your out of high school you need to make an exit strategy. It may even involve play acting as a Witness for awhile, until your on your feet. It's better to leave in a position of strength.

143

...Jehovah`s Witness Kids don`t miss Celebrating Birthdays,Christmas..ect..ect!!....

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

jehovah`s witness kids don`t miss celebrating birthdays,christmas..ect..ect..!

!......................thats what jehovah`s witness parents,tell the outside world..my parents did.......the fact is..i did want to have a birthday party..i did want to get toys at christmas..i did want a tree with all the lights..i did want to go to the school christmas party..i did want to hunt for chocolate eggs at easter................tell that to your jw parents and you`ll get an ass-whopp`n..........i told my aunt i loved christmas,she always got me something...my aunt told my mom.....mom was not happy.......i did`nt support the jehovah`s witness lie....i paid the price..............when you were a jehovah`s witness kid,did you want to participate in celebrations?

...outlaw.

Anne

When I was in fourth grade my teacher was so disturbed by my having to leave for birthdays, holidays, etc, that she created reasons to have other parties. As a child I didn't realize it, but in hind-site she went out of her way to include me. I contacted her a few years ago and thanked her. She had a friend growing up who was raised JW, and didn't want any of her students to feel left out like her friend had been.

My parents were and still are dirt poor. I was an outsider due to socio-economic status, then throw in the goofy religion with it's birthday cake hating rules and I was an absolute pariah.

My parents did try a very little. They had family day (somewhat inconsistently) on their wedding anniversary. As a parent I find that really offensive. Their marriage is so important that they can worship it, but the birth of their children (and grandchildren) is of no importance.

25

Were your kids distressed after time with JWs?

by hamsterbait in

i am asking this as i think testimony from first hand could help people see what danger they leave their children in with jw baby sitters etc.. my friends let their 10 yr old daughter stay the weekend with her jw cousins.. when she came back she was having nightmares, bursting into tears, clingy (as her mother might be killed at armageddon before she got home from school).

and asking explicit sexual questions, (yes they had taken her to the kingdumb hell).

i am repeating this post as it disappeared the first time.

Anne

Most of us aren't saying we should confine them from society, we're also not saying they can't preach. What we're saying is they can't preach to our children. The faith is too damaging. I personally have the one strike your out rule. My father, sister, and brothers have no unsupervised visits. They have proven to not respect boundaries. My mom is a different case. If it wasn't for my dad dragging her in she would not be a Witness, and now her whole social world revolves around being a Witness. She knows the repercussions if she tries to "Witness" to my kids. I have spelled it out. For her it would be bleak.

I personally don't really care what sky god they worship, as long as I don't have to hear about it or participate. All I ask is the same respect, but I demand it for my minor children

20

Did you find out the hard way the advice - NEVER leave your

by hamsterbait in

never ever leaveyour child alone with a jw?.

i have friends who left their daughter over a weekend with her cousins.

she came back with crying fits, nightmares and general nervousness about the world ending.

Anne

Every situation is different. My mom is more of a social JW and wouldn't do anything to cross me. My dad is a rabid JW and we had it out a few years ago. He once told my 3 year old that "Jehovah makes the plants grow". Relatively harmless, but if you give an inch they will go a mile. I told my dad that if I ever even think that he is Witnessing to them he will NEVER see them again. I also threatened to become Catholic. Since Dad comes from a very Catholic family who barely tolerates his JWness, I'd just duck and let the extended family nuke him for bad behavior. It never came to that, my mother reined him in. (We still don't let him see the kids unsupervised.)

I want to raise them to be like Mindmelda's kids. Able to think critically for themselves.

Reniaa, you miss the entire point. My Dad would have had an aneurysm if my Grandparents would have tried to indoctrinate us into the Catholic faith. But for a JW it's OK? They think they have the truth.... blah, blah... Well guess what?, if YOU really believed that you'd do as "mother" tells you and stay off the internet and these nasty apostate websites. I was raised a JW, I walked away. I know exactly what it is, and so do you... it's a family wrecking, child abusing, money whore of a cult. I know what I am and what I am not... do you?

9

wedding anniversarys

by Adrianoblue in

jw
friends

you`ve probably had this topic before, but there always was this one thing which kept bugging me: here in germany it is pretty common for married jw couples to celebrate their wedding anniversary each year.

do jws in the us or elsewhere do the same?.

well, the reason i`m asking, is the fact that i never really understood what the hell is the difference between such an event and a birthday party?.

Anne

This is one of the things that bugged me most growing up. My parents became JW's when I was just beginning grade school and can remember celebrating birthdays and holidays then suddenly they were outlawed due to their new faith. BUT they still were able to celebrate THEIR wedding anniversary. It was OK to celebrate the "birth" of their marriage, but not the birth of their children. Even when I was a believer it just screamed of hippocracy. I told my mom we were celebrating the anniversary of my children's births. I think the correlation went over her head.

23

Questioned By The Elders. Lawsuit?

by Hangin_on in

i was dfed for 3 years and could not get back in for the life of me.

(long story one elder from my committee even held onto my letter and didnt give it to the other elders for 6 weeks) my current wife who i was dfed for back in the day (a few years ago) found out that i was text messaging and calling one of her friends (another sister in the hall) and she is very upset.

instead of handling it like a family she "eldered up" and i got pulled into the back room with 2 elders.

Anne

OUCH!! I think your wife is either looking for a Witness legal way out of your marriage or else she really thinks you were having more than just a text message friendship with the other girl. Either way go to a real marriage counselor or hire a good divorce attorney.

Don't extricate yourself from the Witnesses until you decide what you want for yourself and your child. If you try the fade route and live close to Witness relatives they will try to convert your child. Can you accept that?

It's up to you what you are willing to loose, and how much of a hippocrite you are willing to be to get there. If you want to stay a Witness do what the elder's want. They only have power if you let them have it.

32

HI! I am one of the 63% who have left

by outofservice in

jw
friends

hello everyone hope there is room for another newbie.. i feel like i know all of you from reading your posts over the last months.. and i must thank you all for your great and very informative posts.

it has really reinforced all the things that i had been feeling for years.

my husband and i were both raised in the "truth".

Anne

Having a family was the ultimate push my husband and I needed to stop "pretending" for family. Congradulations on taking that step, sometimes what we can't do for ourselves we can for our children.

63

Mom says "You will die at Armageddon" - good replies?

by serendipity in

jw
friends

my mother retired from her full-time job recently and has started attending meetings again.

she also has plenty of time to think about her wayward children, including me.

one night, we were talking and she asked me, again, why i wasn't going to meetings.

Anne

My answer to my family has always been "I feel sorry for you if you really believe that." After they reply with whatever, I just state "I don't argue with crazy people." Just keep repeating.

18

What will the WBTS do about the youth problem?

by easyreader1970 in

jw
friends

many youngsters, even ones brought up in "the truth", are leaving the organization, some never to return.

they're not doing so because they want to party or gain wealth (as the society would have you believe) but they are doing so because they are not stupid.

it is no longer 1974. people have much more information at their fingertips these days and nobody is closer to the signal of the internet than young people.

Anne

As pointed out the US is getting more secular, but from what I've observed in others in my age group (30ish) when they have their own children they tend to go back to the religion they were raised in. I have not observed the same trend in JW's who have left, in fact the exact opposite. In my case it was the driving force to finally extricate myself completely. I don't "pretend" for my parents or siblings anymore.

In the congregation I was raised around about 70% of my pere group has left that I know of. Without young families the religion will slowly die out. Maybe their original 1914 generations doctrine was right, that that generation will not pass before the end comes (to the JW religion.)