Bruja-del-Sol

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Posts by Bruja-del-Sol

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  3

  untitled

  by quellycatface in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Welcome back Qcf! How was your vacation? Done or seen anything special? Pics?
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  24

  hello!

  by gamergirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  glad to be a new member and find others with similarities of background.

  some background info on me: my dad became jw when i was young, so i spent maybe a third of my life in the religion.

  although i respect everyone's beliefs, i personally knew many genuinely selfless people in my congregation, but the way i was raised, now that i am an adult i am realizing was very sheltered and unrealistic.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Welcome GG, nice to meet you!
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  45

  Circuit Oversneer Says. . .

  by piztjw in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  "do you realize how much of a privelge it is to enjoy the visit of the circuit overseer?

  they are appointed by the governing body who in turn are apointed by jesus and holy spirit.

  so you have a great privilege when we visit your congregation, because it is the same thing as having jesus visit you.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Makes me think of Harry Potter's Professor Gilderoy Lockhart in the second movie, the Chamber of Secrets:

  
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  33

  Should I reconnect with my Bible students? What do you think?

  by KateWild in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i reprted 5 studies the month i was df'd.

  more than a year has passed since i have seen any of my students.

  i got on so well with many of them, we became friends.. did i do the right thing?

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  My best friends are a couple of which the man was very interested in religion over 20 years ago. I was always trying to tell him about the JW-religion and he even came with me to the KH. His wife (well, not actually married, but they're together for nearly fourty years) came along and didn't like it one bit. After the visit to that one meeting she refused to talk about it ever again. After a couple of years our contact was gone. The man wasn't really interested in becoming a JW and my ex-husband didn't like them very much to spend time with. So it ended.

  But six months after I got DF'd I phoned them, out of the blue. Just to ask how they were and I told them what had happened (divorce, DF'd) and ever since we've been friends. And they are my only REAL friends, the ones I can count on always, even now I'm living in Spain.

  Funny thing is that I totally forgot that your way of 'finding new friends' by contacting your old studies is exactly what gave me my dearest friends!
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  17

  Consequences of the cult? FEAR and PASSIVITY - anything else?

  by BluePill2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  depending how long you where a member or if you where a born in, the watchtower leaves certain marks or traces in your mind that you only notice after leaving them for good.. i think this is similar to a big river, with a high level of water that covers the hidden rocks and cliffs.

  once you start lowering the water level, all these rocks come to the surface and suddenly that river is difficult to navigate.. like that river, our minds are flooded with false hope for the future, a naive expectation to have jehovah sort things out for you and lots of fake, conditional love and warmth.

  all these things hide the fact that the same organization also put some heavy rocks into your mind called fear and passivity.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  BluePill2 said:

  My girlfriend says that she observes in me traits that foreigners show if they are in a unknown country, only that we have them towards EVERYBODY. The whole planet is foreign to a Witness.

  I can relate to that. It's exactly what I've told my husband lately about how I feel. Now we're living in Spain, trying to learn the language and the local customs, we know we will always be 'foreigners', no matter how hard we try. We're not the same as people who were born here, we will never completely grasp their way of thinking, the things they've learned and seen from their culture all their lives. And that is exactly how I feel after I've left the WTS! I'm living in the world, I'm doing my utter best to behave and act like other people, I've taken up their customs like celebrating lots of things, I've married my first love who never had any religious beliefs and I'm trying to make friends whenever I can.

  But after nearly 12 years of trying and giving it all I've got, even had therapy, I'm still struggling with these mental and emotional 'disabilities'. I'm still a foreigner, an outsider who tries but never seems to really get it. I'm living this life among all these people and just don't seem to fit in. Like a foreigner who speaks the language well, knows all about the food the locals like to eat, even joins them in celebrating their holidays and doing all he can to adjust to their cultural behaviour, but after decades everybody will still look at him as 'import', not genuinely 'one of them', although they will accept him, but every now and then they will shake their heads and whisper to each other 'you see, that foreign part is still there... we don't understand this person'.

  And even with my husband I have such moments. I'm really f*cked up when it comes to sexuality, and no matter how hard I try, there's this part of me that doesn't know how to break loose of the ties the WTS has put in my mind. I really hate that! I'm reading Kyria Abrahams 'I'm perfect, you're doomed' right now and it's actually sort of a relief... Her story could've been mine. But it also hurts, 'cause it brings a lot of garbage back into my memory...

  So yes, BluePill2, I recognize your story. I married at 18, thinking my only purpose in life would be to wait for Armageddon and in the meantime be a wife and have kids and go in Field Service. I had no goals, no ambitions, and up until today I have a hard time setting goals and working towards reaching them. I'm 45 now and longing for friends who will not abandon me or just forget about me as if I never existed (lost a couple of friends because of our emigration, a loss I didn't actually see coming, another thing to mourn)... it's a struggle sometimes.
  
  But having all of that said, I still am A LOT happier than I was as a JW and I would never at any price trade my insecurities back for the so called 'security' of the witnesses. So to end this in a positive way: I know I will get by someday, it just takes a looooooooot of time.
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  18

  This truly pisses me off

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  http://www.jw.org/en/news/by-region/asia/kyrgyzstan/court-ruling-for-conscientious-objectors/.

  december 30, 2013 | kyrgyzstan.

  kyrgyzstan court rules in favor of conscientious objectors bishkek, kyrgyzstanthe constitutional chamber of the supreme court of kyrgyzstan unanimously declared on november 19, 2013, that the countrys current law on alternative service is unconstitutional and violates the right of freedom of religion.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  I recall when they changed this. Somewhere end 90's/early 2000's it was a subtle subject in a WT-study, but one bro in our hall who had spend several years in jail because he wasn't allowed to do alternate service (or he would be DF'd, while HIS choice would've been to do alternate serivce) nearly exploded when this came along. He was soooo upset, like you are now, and he stood up and really burst out in anger and shouted through the hall in the midst of the WT-study asking 'who they thought they were, playing with people's lives like this!' He asked who was going to give him back the years he had lost because of the earlier stand of the WTS, which appeared to be wrong now...

  And I felt for him, as I do for you now. It must be so hard to know that you've 'done time' for nothing, because of some assholes that made a decision over everybody's heads and later decided to change it. It's frustrating. My ex-FIL had the same thing, he also spent 2,5 years in jail, but he was pretty submissive to the GB so he didn't blink an eye when they flipflopped to accepting alternate service all of a sudden, calling it 'a matter of conscience'...

  It was one of the things that made me question if this really was the 'Truth'...
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  26

  I want to grow my hair back out!

  by onlyastory in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a few months prior to baptism i had shoulder length hair which i loved and had wanted ever since i was a child.

  i remember sitting with an elder during a bible study and asking him point blank if i 'had' to cut my hair.

  whilst the answer was given slightly awkwardly the answer was a no, "there are no rules that say you have to cut your hair".

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Funny, the OP's question makes me think of my ex-husband who always wanted to grow his hair longer than the brothers thought was 'decent' (especially his father who was PO at the time). But he always waited weeks before he finally went to the hairdresser, even when several brothers in the hall came to him with semi-sarcastic jokes. And of course his father wasn't pleased, but that was probably the main trigger to NOT go to the hairdresser 'in time' (funny thing is that our son has the exact same attitude and sometimes waits months before going to get his hair cut. Even though he's not a JW there are lots of people who think it's necessary to make a comment about someone's hairdo when it's getting longer than 'usual'... they just don't understand that the more comments they make, the longer he'll wait hahaha).

  I also recall the shock in our last hall when my ex came in one day completely bald! He had a bet with a colleague: he would get 500 Dutch guilders if he would let his colleague shave his hair off. The colleague thought he would never do it, being a JW and knowing that I wouldn't really like it (understatement LOL)... but my ex said "fine, go ahead. Oh and thanks for the money". He came home from work and rang the doorbell, so I would come to the door to see it while his colleague was still there... Jaw dropping moment, but I barely showed it. I stayed pretty cool and asked "what happened?" and then he showed me the money he received. And that was that... LOL. That night or the night after we went to the hall... really hilarious! Nobody dared to ask him why he did it, they totally ignored his lacking hair!
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  31

  Announcement made about me

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hubby informed me that an announcement was made to his congreation not to approach us when we are out together.

  this was done at his request.

  another way he can control me i guess.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Sounds like you need to get some more proof of the things your hubby is telling you. I've heard of people who went 'to work' everyday, while they were being fired weeks before but were too scared to tell their spouse. So is your hubby REALLY going into field service, or just saying he is?

  At least I agree with previous posters that there has never been such an announcement about 'not approaching a brother while he's with his never-a-JW-wife', this sounds like pure BS. He's trying to fool you, probably for 'control' reasons.
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  16

  When Simon met me, he told me I was "The One"

  by ILoveTTATT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "the one" person whom he had ever met who hadn't seen the matrix.... .

  i am gonna watch it today!!.

  shhhh don't tell me the end!!

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  You should also watch 'The thirteenth floor' (Craig Bierko, Armin MuellerStahl, Gretchen Mol) too then and 'The Game' (Michael Douglas & Sean Penn).

  Same sort of theme, very good movies IMHO.
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  16

  Sexting, thinking with my little head

  by stillin in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i had no idea, having come from such a sheltered life, how tantalizing those little text messages could be.

  i'm a married man.

  my wife has pretty much decided that sex is not for her anymore.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  I've done what you're considering: I've left my husband for some horny messaging guy I met through the internet. Sex with my ex-husband was not good, I didn't like it. I'm also a three time abuse victim (lucky me... pffff), so sex will always be sort of a struggle for me. But this guy knew how to turn me on, where I thought that I was frigid he proved me wrong. So after a couple of months I left my then husband, got DF'd and in a couple of weeks I was living together with this oh so sexy guy...

  And it turned out he wasn't that sexy after all. He was actually good in bed, but the rest of him was awful! He was rude, unkind, he lied, was looking for fights all the time, made me cry more in a year that I had cried in 15 years of marriage... so I was wrong! The only thing that was good about him was that he gave me the courage to leave my husband! I would've never felt strong enough to do that on my own. And even my ex-husband admits that if I hadn't left, he would have never done it. Not because our marriage was so good, but because of all the logical reasons: having two kids together, a mortgage, a business and a shared life for over a decade... But he thanked me years after our divorce for having the courage to go, 'cause he now knows we're both better off and even the kids say they are glad I did what I did.

  But the guy I did it for.... it was a joke, really, nothing of real worth!

  add: except for the text messages, I've been open and honest to my ex-husband. I never cheated on him, I had already left him when I had the first time sex with the other guy. And I promised my ex to tell him if I did, so he would be free to re-marry a nice sister (which I stupidly did and got DF'd for it, not knowing that within three months my ex would leave the JW's too!!! So after all it wasn't necessary for me to be DF'd after all, I could have faded if I wouldn't have been the pleaser to 'help my ex out'... My ex feels sorry for me now, I've lost everything but our kids because of this, and he went into the world, found him a nice young chick, started smoking cigars, had sex without being married, even let her move in with him, and married her a couple of years later and no JW ever gave a damn about what he did. The only advantage I had by being DF'd is that I knew instantly who were the people I could count on... the only one was my ex! I'm glad we're still friends).