Posts by Odrade

42

My Dad died on Friday

by littlemike in

jw
friends

i dont often post on here but lurk everday.

i was an elder for 11 years, raised as a witness from birth and eventually left in 2002 aged 42.. my dad died on friday aged 87. he was a witness baptized in 1940. he was congregation servant and then elder in hull, england.. we were arranging his funeral tonight with my 2 brothers who are still witness elders.

all they were interested in was what he had done in the "truth".

Odrade

mike, I am so sorry about your father. I tend to agree with willyloman and others who say to wait. You are grieving right now, not only for what you lost Friday, but for what you lost when you left the organization, and for the things you will never have now - like your father looking at you with clear, non-indoctrinated eyes and understanding why you are no longer JW.

Wait 6 months. You can always send it, but you can't un-send it. The letter, and the former friends, will still be there to communicate or not, as you choose, after you have processed the death of your father. I hope you and your family have needed rest and solace.

35

I saw red

by DanTheMan in

jw
friends

this morning i went to the break room at work to get a cup of coffee.

a jw lady from the cong that i da'd from 5 years ago was in there.

normally she doesn't say anything to me, but today she smiles big at me and says in a sing-song voice, "he-ey, the memorial, april 7th!".

Odrade

Maybe it's the time of year. I think memorial is a focal point for some of our anger, simply because it's so representative of their dogma. I feel more anger and frustration this time of year. You did good though.

14

Abusive UK Foster Mother Caught--says she is JW

by blondie in

jw
friends

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/gloucestershire/6449027.stm.

two decades of abuse went unseen the foster children of eunice spry face a lifetime of counselling, after suffering years of physical, mental and sexual abuse at her hands.

the abuse was not spotted by health professionals over a period of 20 years.

Odrade

Authorities were contacted after a victim spoke up to someone at the Hall... maybe all of the protests, publicity and efforts are having results, with things like this being less likely to be covered up? One can only hope...

62

update on my divorce situation

by depressed in

i'm shocked!

if you remember my experience, in a nutshell, basically my ex-bethelite ex pioneer husband cheated on me with an older "worldly woman" from his job and left me suddenly.

i had no idea that we had trouble with our marriage, however, when i discovered the love letters from the other woman, he moved out, and a week after that, i received divorce papers.

Odrade

Oh good grief. I went back and read your other two threads, and see this thing started OVER A YEAR AGO, and here you are STILL forwarding letters, and emails, trying to get him in trouble with his family, the elders, workmates, bosses, etc. For what? So you can vindicate yourself? You have acted like as much of a fool as they have with your letters, your blog, and your vindictiveness.

Just stop. Let go of the ex, let go of the in-laws. You've dealt out enough "revenge" by now, there's nothing left for "karma." They've pretty much paid in full by having to deal with you.

I can't help but think that the fact you're still behaving so vengefully and childishly over a year after all of this stuff, (which seems to have been escalated by you in the first place, after all he did move out in short order, but it was YOU who tried to ruin everyone else's lives by divulging secrets of even people who have nothing to do with you,) perhaps your behavior holds the clue as to why he left you in the first place.

Regardless, get help, before you destroy yourself trying to take everyone else out.

Personally, I didn't see anything particularly heinous about the email in the original post on this thread. I'm irritated enough by YOUR side of your behavior to have written you a much meaner one. I can only imagine what the real story would tell. She showed remarkable self-restraint, IMO.

26

DOES YOUR HUSBAND WATCH TOO MUCH TV?

by juni in

jw
friends

i mean almost all the time?

a lot of all day tv watching?.

how do you feel about it?.

Odrade

:::He seems to like cartoons or nature films. :::

ROTFLMAO!!!

79

My wife "Rowan" needs of your support too.

by Gerard in

jw
friends

my wife 'rowan' was born and raised a jw, her father being an elder -a very gentle loving person, but an elder.. some years ago, she was betrayed by a close friend, subjected to a jc and was disfellowshiped & shunned.

the proceeding was completely void of mercy and love, it was much like a violation, a rape.

finding herself df'd was of course terrifying, but the most disapointing outcome was that her father sided with the elders.. eventually she discovered through select books, articles and this board about the fear-driven mind control ways of her religion.

Odrade

Hey Rowan, I'm not going to say I know how you feel, because the depression thing... I just don't identify that well. I DO understand the anger though, and the feelings of PTSD. A few years ago, I was so angry and hurt, I would burst into tears or start yelling and ranting about some random, insignificant thing that happened. It was embarrassing and frustrating, since I never knew precisely what was going to "set me off."

I did get counseling, it helped a great deal, especially with feeling like I was in control of my own life again (or maybe for the first time.) One of the things the counselor helped me to understand is that I cannot be too attached to what I expect of other peoples' behavior. My mother was never going to act like my idea of what a mother should be. My dad may likely never detach from the WT, and may always see me through the veil of WT indoctrination - no matter how happy, successful, or eloquent I could be with him. My brother... well, I love him, but he can be a bit of a jackass. Nothing I do can change that.

So I learned that the things I do, I have to do for me, because I am the only person whose actions and reactions I can control. I learned that it was okay to be angry and sad that the people I love won't see things the way I wish, but it's not my fault or responsibility. I also learned it was okay to be furious with the stupid WT organization that robbed me and my family of so many normal things.

Nobody can tell you to get over it, but you can learn to eventually make those feelings and memories more like old photographs that you can take out, look at, and remember what it was like and how you felt, but when you've looked, you can put them away and get on with today.

Lots of luck.

O

12

Spinal steroid injections.

by BrentR in

last wed i got a spinal epidural steroid injection and for the first time in many years i am back pain free.

i am curious as to how many people have had them that experienced an improvement or did not.. i am a licensed massage therapist and i work in conjunction with a chiropractic clinic.

we see most people after they have tried most or all of the traditional medical treatments and have not had any relief.

Odrade

Woza wrote::::injections of a salt/glucose into the cartilage of the spinal joints which irritates the cartilage to grow and repair itself.:::

AKA "proliferant" or "prolotherapy." Works on the tendons and ligaments to encourage strengthening and regrowth of new ligament tissue. For some people this is an incredible therapy that allows them to regain all sorts of pain-free mobility. Unfortunately, since it has experienced a resurgence in the U.S. there are docs who offer this as a one-time therapy. For it really to be effective, it is usually done in series over a relatively short time.

Glad things are working.

26

DOES YOUR HUSBAND WATCH TOO MUCH TV?

by juni in

jw
friends

i mean almost all the time?

a lot of all day tv watching?.

how do you feel about it?.

Odrade

no, but I watch too much internets...

152

Does Knowing the Truth Make you a Happier person?

by gumby in

many of us who were once jehovah's witnesses had a measure of happiness in our lives.

for me, i had a hope in the future, i had answers as to why we are all here, i believed in a loving god who looked after me and cared about me, i had answers to all of lifes big questions.. when i found out the truth about the witnesses, i was lost in a great big world and now had no answers other than the fact that what i once believed was "the truth" in actuality wasn't the truth.i now had to start all over in my search for truth.

for me, it wasn't long before i found what i thought was the truth since i always believed in the bible.

Odrade

sKally, you're an ass. It was someone like you who kept me in the organization for 11 years longer than I had to be. Rabid, frothing, anti-ex-jw who was so vehemently dramatic about WT killers that it made utterly no sense to listen to the nonsense. It was someone like gumby who got me out. A marginal (nominal) JW who spoke quietly enough so that his words slipped under the wall of indoctrination and made me THINK.

So... the next time you start throwing around the "killer" and "murderer" labels, you might want to pin a few of those on yourself, because I'm certain that there is someone, somewhere, who heard you talking with the spittle flying out of your mouth with every furious stabbing word, and was immediately proofed for years against "listening to the word of apostates."

Gumby, to answer your question, I am a MUCH happier person. The only real regrets I have are that I didn't find out the truth sooner, (maybe I would have if it weren't for encountering my own "sKally,") and that my Dad and brother haven't yet been able to see what I see. Perhaps by remaining with only the title "inactive" I may still have success with awakening their thinking. That would make me very happy. It's an opportunity I wouldn't have if I stood on my roof with a bullhorn, screaming epithets and obscenities.

63

My mom was Kidnapped By the FBI Today She told Me F@#$ OFF!!

by Sparkplug in

so friday my brother and i found a nursing home for my mom to stay at.

it was a very hard thing to do.

he had me go hunting.

Odrade

Sparkplug, I totally second everything Frannie said, and would also suggest a review of ALL of her meds. It's very possible that she is having adverse reactions or bad drug interactions. My grandmother got kicked out of three hospitals and two nursing homes before she died. The stupid docs kept giving her a particular drug for pain that made her violent and paranoid. (Well, she was a little that way anyways, this made it exponentially worse.)