Odrade

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Posts by Odrade

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  82

  Sending Out a Letter to My JW Daughter - Give Me Your Thoughts Please

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  some of you probably read my jw daughter's letter to mrs. flipper and me a few weeks ago where she tried explaining to mrs. flipper why she doesn't have anything to do with me ( says i talk negative towards the organization ) .

  in that letter though she showed some flashes of her authentic, kind personality and told us she loves us.

  but much of the letter was proselytizing to us about how bad the system is and how jeovah will bring a paradise, etc.

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  Odrade

  "I preferred to use Steve Hassan's methods of just talking in an authentic way to my daughter without discussing the witnesses"

  Hassan has never advocated a complete avoidance of the issues. I believe you are misinterpreting this suggestion as a recommendation for conflict avoidance. Instead, he recommends finding the authentic personality by having loving, but non-confrontational discussions with them. He suggests presenting small ideas and facts in as neutral way as possible, to get a cult-indoctrinated person to think with their own authentic internal voice. Avoiding the issue entirely, even when directly queried, is tantamount to telling the person that their concerns are irrelevant.

  In the end, people, including Flipper, are going to do what they want, for their own reasons. It is to be hoped that they are not deluding themselves so that they can be more comfortable on the path of least resistance. It is also to be hoped that they are not presenting this distortion/misrepresentation/selective interpretation, as coming from an authority on breaking indoctrination.
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  82

  Sending Out a Letter to My JW Daughter - Give Me Your Thoughts Please

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  some of you probably read my jw daughter's letter to mrs. flipper and me a few weeks ago where she tried explaining to mrs. flipper why she doesn't have anything to do with me ( says i talk negative towards the organization ) .

  in that letter though she showed some flashes of her authentic, kind personality and told us she loves us.

  but much of the letter was proselytizing to us about how bad the system is and how jeovah will bring a paradise, etc.

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  Odrade

  Vinny, to my surprise I pretty much agree with everything you said on this entire thread. Not that it matters much, because I don't think too much of Flipper's judgment (haven't since the "erynw" incident at least, maybe longer,) and I'm pretty sure he couldn't care less about my opinion.

  Nevertheless, it seems utterly ridiculous to be posting readily identifiable personal information on this board, where all you have to do to see it is have a login, and then claim that you won't talk straight because you're "protecting a fade." Whatever.

  Flipper, my dad, a JW, has left me messages and written notes that are exactly like your response. Personally, I think those messages and notes are bullshit. I know what he's trying to do, he's trying to appeal to my emotions and my love for him in order to dodge the real issue. He must think that if he can "remind me" of what things "used to be like" between us, I'll forget reason, logic, decisions and everything else, and just make him happy. News flash, I'm smarter than that, and his transparent ploy is disrespectful. I forgive him, because he's my father and I love him. But it's just one more way to dodge anything genuine. His complete avoidance has made a genuine relationship all but impossible.

  But hey, he can still talk to me... it's GREAT that I can still have conversations with him once a month that go: "sure has rained a lot!" and "how's your hayfever?" Oh boy, bully for me!

  So... in the greater scheme of things, when your "apostate" activities come to light, by means of YOUR OWN POSTINGS HERE, how are you going to feel when your fade is blown and you still haven't had one single meaningful conversation with your daughter, EVEN THOUGH SHE IS CLEARLY ASKING? Wouldn't you rather get busted for being real, honest, and giving her a chance to know what you know, rather than because you had beers at a pub with strangers from the internet?

  Whatever. "protect your fade." It's all good. Who needs a real relationship anyways?
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  39

  Viewpoint from Manager of our local newspaper.

  by worldtraveller in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  everyone here should read this.

  here is the link:.

  http://www2.canada.com/surreynow/news/viewpoint/story.html?id=c4e29752-1dca-4c67-8543-d72da8322aa7 .

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  Odrade

  Excellent article, thanks for posting it.
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  47

  Interesting Words from LaToya Jackson

  by jamiebowers in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  article posted on jws:.

  http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles_of_faith/2009/07/michael_jackson.html scroll down to readers comments and see quotes from latoya's book (#29).

  credit posting to:http://www.jwsupportforum.com/index.php?topic=6677.0.

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  Odrade

  " most anyone who dealt with Mrs jackson speaks very highly of her - she cant keep her guard up all the time unless she is genuine"

  I beg to differ. My mother has been accomplishing this for 35+ years, being one way with her family, and another completely different way with everyone else. If she can do it, why not Mrs. Jackson?
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  35

  ...The End...

  by OUTLAW in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  enough of all the shit in life.. and..wanted to just end it?.

  check out and not come back?.

  fall asleep and not wake up?.

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  Odrade

  Holy cats! Outlaw can make paragraphs!!!
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  216

  No One Should Be Made to Choose…..LIES from July 09 Awake

  by Hopscotch in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  the following quote is taken from the article is it wrong to change your religion?

  in the july 2009 awake p29:

  no one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family.

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  Odrade

  I feel like I should send this to my mom. I'm not above using their own stick to beat them with. But in some ways it's kind of nice that she hasn't spoken to me in 8 months. Ha!

  (P.S.: still not DF'd)
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  29

  3 JC Elders in a car crash.

  by african GB Member in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  suppose they get involved in a car accident shortly after handing down a df judgement in a jc.

  they don't die, but surprisingly they all loose their memory.

  all jc records that they had on them are destroyed during the accident.. what happens to the poor fellow who is supposed to be announced "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses"?.

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  Odrade

  Hahaha! You have WAY too much time on your hands. :)
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  52

  Witness 007 returns to wife and meetings..I give up! Sorry no choice!

  by Witness 007 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  my wife's been having mental problems since hurting her back at work...we split for 8 weeks {her doing} then she rings me and says she "can't cope and is lonely" so i return {the drama continues} she seems more stable, sleeping all night...what a change!

  her mood had become alittle more stable.

  she found a part time job, and has not been dragged off by security like her last job...much improved though she dropped 10 kilos in weight.

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  Odrade

  The clinical literature on co-dependency sheds a lot of light on Witness 007's experiences within his marriage

  And you made this diagnosis, how? Through counseling sessions with him? Intimate knowledge of the details of 007's thought processes and decision making? Direct observation?

  I love how people here throw around diagnosis and evaluation such as "co-dependency," "lack of self-respect," "confused," "hero syndrome," "inauthentic," etc.
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  52

  Witness 007 returns to wife and meetings..I give up! Sorry no choice!

  by Witness 007 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  my wife's been having mental problems since hurting her back at work...we split for 8 weeks {her doing} then she rings me and says she "can't cope and is lonely" so i return {the drama continues} she seems more stable, sleeping all night...what a change!

  her mood had become alittle more stable.

  she found a part time job, and has not been dragged off by security like her last job...much improved though she dropped 10 kilos in weight.

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  Odrade

  done4: that's an extremely harsh and judgmental thing to say, that he has no self-respect. How do you know what is his motivation other than what he has said? How do you know that it is or is not self-respect that makes him follow this path. Can you grasp the idea that it might be self-respect that motivates him to help his wife, even at some personal cost? Responsible, caring and self-respecting people often do things that are difficult or will cost them precious time, freedom or resources. It seems that he is saying he is doing this because, for right now and for him and his wife, he knows it is right.
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  52

  Witness 007 returns to wife and meetings..I give up! Sorry no choice!

  by Witness 007 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  my wife's been having mental problems since hurting her back at work...we split for 8 weeks {her doing} then she rings me and says she "can't cope and is lonely" so i return {the drama continues} she seems more stable, sleeping all night...what a change!

  her mood had become alittle more stable.

  she found a part time job, and has not been dragged off by security like her last job...much improved though she dropped 10 kilos in weight.

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  Odrade

  007, lots of people attend churches where they don't believe the doctrine. They just keep their mouths shut and go for the fellowship, the choir, the youth program, church picnics, etc. Now granted, the JWs don't really have any of those things except for a certain amount of fellowshipping, but to your wife that's worth it. And maybe for you that's worth it too.

  I was talking to a friend who happens to be agnostic-leaning-atheistic. She has attended the First Baptist for YEARS because she loves the choir. I have a client who attends the Unitarian with many of her friends, even though she is Catholic.

  I know we have this huge indoctrination to overcome that if you attend JW services, you are unequivocally a believer and supporter. But I have to believe that a fair percentage of "Witnesses" are just going to church. I've learned from talking to church-attending non-believers, that the church leaders will still try to get people involved more actively. It's the same all over, the JWs just think they are different.

  Millions of women get up in the morning, take their B.C. pill, then go to Catholic Mass. Why should the JWs be any different. What will truly break down their policies is if tens of thousands of attenders just quietly do not comply with their rules on shunning, transfusions, entertainment, college, and so on. I'm sure there are plenty of Mormons out there who don't wear the special undies, too.

  When I was newly out of the JWs, I couldn't wrap my mind around anyone just silently attending, or going back because of family. But the more distance I put between myself and the JWs, the more I see that it's just another religion.