My wife's been having mental problems since hurting her back at work...we split for 8 weeks {her doing} then she rings me and says she "can't cope and is lonely" so I return {the drama continues} she seems more stable, sleeping all night...what a change! Her mood had become alittle more stable. She found a part time job, and has not been dragged off by security like her last job...much improved though she dropped 10 kilos in weight. She says we have no friends and wants to return to the Witness clan meetings as she is studying with Sisters! I convinced her to break from the Witnesses for the last 15 months but this has added alot of mental stress to her and help lead to her downfall. I HATE all things Witness, the meetings discust me, but if it will help my wife to have some "Witness support" I will bite the bullet and do it for her sake. I promise to be a sarcastic doubting "bad influence" as much as possible.....Witnessing is out of the question...one meeting every couple weeks should get me some "Witness friends" for my wife. God help me! My first memorial after 3 years is coming up soon....I need some wine!
Witness 007 returns to wife and meetings..I give up! Sorry no choice!
by Witness 007 52 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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leavingwt
I wish you the best. I hope your wife can get some type of comfort.
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rebel8
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I admire your loyalty to your wife and willingness to do what you perceive to be best for her.
I can't say I agree that your course of action is the healthiest though, sorry. Interesting choice of words--"I give up" followed by "sorry no choice". They seem to convey different concepts--one is "I'm tired and surrender" and the other is "there is no other option"--not the same things.
I hope you will consider reading this book (unless I'm entirely wrong, which of course is possible).
Hope it all works out for you & wishing you the best.
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OnTheWayOut
If you are not just playing the April fool in late March, I must say that "no choice" is just not true.
I won't preach my feelings at you, but at such a point of separation, if it wasn't going well, I would
have considered counseling instead of Witnesses. I wish you well. -
Witness 007
She says she if nothing else, she needs the congregation, friendships, moral values, of the Witnesses....convincing her there is no Jehovah or his organisation really messed her up, contibuted to the point of her almost being comitted!....I can't risk that again for the sake of attending an"imaginary God" religion.....I wish I was joking, 12 months of living a nightmare for me...I'm tired.
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cawshun
Whitness007, I'm so sorry your going through all these feelings. Best Wishes
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blondie
This is my penny's worth, if she can't serve God without you, then she is walking a difficult road where she is depending on God not humans. One thing you learn when you have an alcoholic loved one is that you cannot do it for them. I would just let her go to the meetings and stay home yourself just letting each of you have your own beliefs. As to a mental illness, she needs to see a psychiatrist and get on the right meds after a professional diagnosis. Even the KH can't cure a physical illness.
Blondie
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OnTheWayOut
I have some experience connected to my work with dealing with the mentally unstable, the depressed, the suicidal. I have learned this one statement to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be true. DO NOT PASSIVELY AGREE WITH SUCH A PERSON WHEN THEY ARE WRONG.
If a delusional person asks for confirmation of their delusions, don't do it. Don't say what they want to hear if it is wrong. It doesn't mean that you have to strongly disagree or even disagree at all, but it is potentially worse to humor them. If they ask you if you see the demon on their shoulder, you cannot say "Yes, but he's not a demon. He's an angel." You have to tell them what you see for real- nothing. If they ask you if your nice ambulance can take them to the lollipop factory, you say "No, but they can take you to a hospital where you might get the help you need."
Now, having said that- she is delusional if she thinks she needs the doctrine or the meetings or the JW members in her life to be happy. If you are too tired to fight, you don't have to. But you don't have to "go along." Even passively going to the meetings for her sake is seen as agreement, unless you keep telling her that you are only going for her sake. Still, in such a state, she views your going as some kind of agreement. Let her go, if you cannot prevent it, or are just too tired to go. Drop her off, pick her up. Don't go with- in my opinion.
I don't feel as strongly for "going along" in situations where you have been constantly going and then discovered the truth is a lie, but you want to keep going to keep helping the loved one open their eyes. That is completely different. But backpeddling is like realizing you should go back. It just doesn't help, in my opinion. I am off my soapbox. Have a nice weekend.
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BluesBrother
Witness 007, I have maintained a discreet silence at the Witness meetings ever since realising the "real truth" ..It is not easy, I would to jump and shout "Rubbish" at what they say, but I don't. My wife is zealous at heart even if for health and other reasons only attend sporadically. But It is the biggest part of her life If I were not there then our marriage would be non existent..
I have attended meetings all my life, it is no big deal to sit there on an irregular Sunday and be on good terms with them at at the Hall. I can do her a kindness by helping out with the practical things of just getting there and dealing with them at the Hall ..
I know where you are and why...It is easy to say "No way!" but sometimes real life gets more complex
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moshe
B-B, I couldn't do what you do- it would have put me in looney bin. If the JW's just stopped their shunning and anti-blood transfusion rules they could have a lot more nonbelievers sitting in the KH with their spouses . At least that would make them look more appealing to outsiders who visit.