I don't experience a "void" either. I finally have breathing space to pursue interests, run a business, and just hang out drinking coffee if I feel like it. Whew!
Posts by Odrade
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44What do you do to fill the void?
by R.F. ini know many of you are dfed, daed, and faded.
what do you do to fill the void of the time left that was devoted to the religion?
i just like to know what activities you all are into.
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40
Jwitness roofing service blog overun with JW! Go make a comment! Plantseed
by PaNiCAtTaCk inhere is the link.
copy and paste and post.
here is an actual post from a jw.
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Odrade
We are not only in the same house as when we were still active, but we are only a couple miles from the Kingdom Hall and one of the closest territories for our former congregation. Both sets of parents, as well as my brother, all live within a couple of miles from our home. My family is very well-known and well-respected among the JWs in the area, as is my husband's. His uncle is "anointed," and I'll tell you NOBODY questions that he's the "real deal." Growing up, my family was highly visible, with many assembly and convention parts. My brother had 500 people at his wedding and it was not a teenage party, these were all JWs in good standing, adults, etc. We invited about 60, and ended up with around 200 at our KH wedding.
I don't know what island you're on, but if you're in either Kihei or Kona, it's very likely you've met my parents or my brother.
We have almost no contact with any former JW "friends," although occasionally my mother will send one of her Witness friends to me for massage therapy. They are well aware that I am not a JW, but I doubt they know any of the rest of the story because they always treat me with respect and never try to preach to me. I wouldn't tolerate it if they did.
But we are on the outskirts of a metropolitan area, with over 2 million residents, so we rarely see JWs, except at a distance. Twice now, they have knocked on our door with the magazines, but they don't know me, AFAIK.
Neither my nor my husband's family are hypocrites. They are the "good" JWs, who do not lie, cheat, steal, lie, protect molestors, lie, lie and lie. (spam spam spam and spam.) They are true believers, who are giving the good talks, conducting the WT study, having "progressive" bible studies, and to give them credit, they are pretty good christians, in spite of their religious affiliation. If I expressed apostate views however, my own mother would pull the trigger. Of this I have no doubt. Fortunately, when we decided to leave the JWs, we landed here and took the advice of posters more experienced than we were, on how to pull off a successful fade. So far so good.
We had dinner at my folks' house last Friday. It was pleasant and fairly relaxed. Yeah, there is the "elephant in the room" - their religious views, a topic we don't discuss but are always aware that it is there. We get along okay in spite of that.
Personally, I think it is often harder to come to an "understanding" with a hypocrite than with a faithful "true believer." The hypocrite is always a moving target. Your wife's daughter-in-law does not sound like someone who is inclined to make much sense. But, as you say, it is a small community- island life- so she's not going to be able to keep the grandson away forever.
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40
Jwitness roofing service blog overun with JW! Go make a comment! Plantseed
by PaNiCAtTaCk inhere is the link.
copy and paste and post.
here is an actual post from a jw.
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Odrade
I suppose the congregation considers us inactive. My husband's family does. My family is kind of weird, they are really hardline, and believe if a person is completely inactive for a long period of time, they are no longer "witnessing," thus no longer a "witness." After having been out of the organization for this length of time, they treat us just like the rest of their worldly family and will socialize with us, speak with us regularly, go out to dinner, etc. Sometimes they try to "witness" to us as if we have never heard any of their doctrine.
We're on the same page, he just doesn't talk about it much. I talk and write about it regularly in hopes somebody will stop and think for a minute. Sometimes they do.
I don't think there's anything wrong with bitterness. It's a normal step in the progression of emotions that occur with loss. It's only unhealthy if you get stuck there. If she has a grandchild she doesn't get to see... well that would make me quite bitter too.
I hope in time her son does wake up. The Watchtower is no place to raise a kid.
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40
Jwitness roofing service blog overun with JW! Go make a comment! Plantseed
by PaNiCAtTaCk inhere is the link.
copy and paste and post.
here is an actual post from a jw.
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Odrade
Just so you know, Vinny, "Stacey" is the 'whiny laughable silly waste of time boring embarrassment atheist' otherwise known as "Odrade." So glad to see you can occasionally be reasonable.
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28
pancreatic cancer and prayer
by nowisee ina friend of mine was recently diagnosed with cancer throughout her pancreas.
this is usually a deadly and rapidly lethal cancer.
at my bible study group prayer requests were taken and i placed her name in for prayer.
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Odrade
Probably should have said "modern" instead of "new," as opposed to prayer, which is neither modern nor new. Regardless, resection surgeries are delicate and require great knowledge and skill from the performing surgeon, which is what I was commenting on. And I'm glad it was successful.
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45
what's in it for the women???
by chelsea ini have often wondered what's in it for the women???
i just read the story of minimus and it is so clear that such power and privilege on offer to males in the borg would be enticing and probably addictive... but the women will never have such offers or opportunities.
they will always be required to be in subjection.
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Odrade
For one, a built-in social network. For women who didn't have very nurturing mothers, they can find surrogate "mothers" in the congregation. For co-dependents, there is a never ending supply of people who need to be "helped." Ambitious women can control a tremendous amount of the tone of the congregation with social gatherings, and influencing their husbands. Praise and rewards for being "traditional," it's very easy to get kudos for being a stay-at-home mom when you're a witness. "Headship" means never having to be responsible for bad decisions, since the "head of the house" is the primary (some say ONLY) decision maker of consequence in the family.
Yes, women give up lots of power to be JWs, but if you can get past the mind-bending, thought-numbing cultishness of it all, there are definite bonuses. Just ask my mother.
I'm not saying any of those things would be motivators for healthy, happy women, but they are getting something out of it.
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46
Would you EVENTUALLY be happy in a JW dominated new system?
by JH inmany here say that they wouldn't want to live in a world dominated by jw's.
i understand.. i know that i wasn't always happy under their rules and way of living.
i don't like going to meetings, especially 5 a week.
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Odrade
IF JW paradise was exactly like the JWs say it's going to be, I suppose I would be happy because I'd get the mother of all brainwashes first. I ran across a great quote in a novel about a deity:
"Human beings do not like being pushed about by Gods. They may seem to, on the surface, but somewhere on the inside, underneath it all, they sense it and resent it. They know."
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Discussion with Elder....a must read story
by drew sagan infor those who don't know i've been 'inactive' for around one year.
i stopped attending meetings late last year.
all during this time i was working on my wife (known on this board as amber rose), helping her see the problems with the watchtower.
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Odrade
Amber Rose, for the first 3 years we were out, we expected a J.C. "any day now." Both of us are from well-known families, mine is rather high-profile in WT, and routinely entertain their "best friends" - one of the GB members and his wife, and I was then quite well known to both of them, though considered quite weak before we left the organization. The J.C. never happened, I suspect because any encounters we had with the JWs (which were rare,) we were selective with our topics, and followed through until there was no defense left. At one point I told an elder's wife (in the elder's presence) that I would NEVER raise a child of mine as a JW, due to the ridiculous education policies, two-witness rule, social pressures, etc. We expected that surely THEN we would be J.C'd, since admitting that you would not want your child to be raised JW is tantamount to announcing you are no longer a believer. But nothing. We attended our last meeting in November of '02, and consider our fade successful. Hopefully this will be the case for the two of you also.
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Odrade
Hmmm. let's see what's in my tiny humi right now: Cohiba pequeno, my fav short affordable smoke, Punch Gran Puro, Sancho Panza (yum,) Arturo Fuente Exquisitos, and a little cuban maduro sampler that my friendly neighborhood cigar guy said I'd probably like. Problem is, I can't indulge too much because the odor lingers on my hands for a couple of days. In view of my line of work, that's a huge no-no. :(
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pancreatic cancer and prayer
by nowisee ina friend of mine was recently diagnosed with cancer throughout her pancreas.
this is usually a deadly and rapidly lethal cancer.
at my bible study group prayer requests were taken and i placed her name in for prayer.
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Odrade
I say the doctor was very very good, and the new procedure was effective, and if the prayers helped your friend's frame of mind, it was worth it, but God did not perform the surgery.