guys i really need your help (page 10)

Cordelia

thanks everyone,

god ross a counsellor what would the jws say??

ignat that parable was brilliant!

Ballistic thanks for what you said i really appreciate it, im sure it isnt the truth but coz my dad etc is so convinced and it was my life for 29 years i find it hard to let it go completely coz i was the happy pioneer etc and sometimes i wish i hadnt found out anything about it, coz it would hurt my family so much for me to stop entirely now, which is what i have done im just wondering whether it was the right decision, but as someone said i think it was ross, its ok to look back fondly on your previous life but a different thing to recreate it, (see i do actually pay attention!)

and realisticly things would be alot harder now if i went back to EVERYTHING i had before wouldnt they?

diamondblue1974

Having been through some difficult days myself I havent been here much at all recently and it was interesting catching up with your situation Cordelia.

as for the bf to be quite honest i know i have been unfair on him, but there have been a few things that have happened recently that have made me question how much i love him, he really can be a nasty person and talk to me badly, and hes younger than me and i just think he cant give me the support i need, tho i realise things must be so hard for him, but i think if i keep seeing him im gonna resent him and that isnt fair,

The above speaks volumes...whilst I am with Ross in his advice I have to point out that whilst its difficult for your boyfriend he should have the ability/maturity to at least seek to try and understand instead of placing yet more ultimatums upon you which achieve nothing but to confuse you more than you are already.

What is apparent to me is that at one of the most spiritually, emotionally, physically and psychologically challenging times of your life he is thinking about himself...not you...not your daughter...but himself and this is clearly demonstrated from his 'you have never put ME first' comments. I dont know him and cannot judge him although I believe his actions of late are relevant to how much support you can expect from him long term and this needs to be considered. If hes coming out with hurtful comments and generally being unsupportive as well then this also speaks volumes to the type of person you can expect him to be at other times of difficulty, be careful!

I particularly like the approach Jgnat has provided with the lists and I am glad you have found the one which is more suitable; and dont really have any other further comments to add other than what I have already said... you need to look after you and your own...nothing else matters until you are ok.

jgnat

god ross a counsellor what would the jws say??

Well, if you really truly like option 4, it really doesn't matter does it? Living true to yourself means doing what is healthiest for you. Everyone else has to learn to adjust.

LittleToe

DB74:

I have to point out that whilst its difficult for your boyfriend he should have the ability/maturity to at least seek to try and understand instead of placing yet more ultimatums upon you which achieve nothing but to confuse you more than you are already.

So speaks the guy in his thirties, but were you so wise in your twenties?

Cordy:
I know some very nice counsellors, but alas they live to far away from you to be of much use. They can often really help, though, if you commit yourself to the program without putting up too many barriers.

Cordelia

Ross i will try anything and its funny i saw sirona tonight and you have said what she did that he is just too immature, maybe if he was older it would be ok, (great minds think alike!!)

dimond blue, u are exactly right that is how i feel surely if he loved me enough he would at least try and be there but it is all about him, i have spent an afternoon with my mum who is ill and feels its a way we can talk if shes ill!!! but my bf when i rang him was just concerned that i hadnt text him all afternoon, i have had enough and we are finished now he is too childish to deal with what i need, i know that may sound selfish i dont mean it like that but i at least want abit of support, sirona said something to me why dont i try it alone, and i realised i have never been alone but im scared to be tho maybe i should give it a go

Sirona

Cordy,

You've come a long way! What I meant earlier was that you should try and be comfy in your own skin.....and that takes a while (I'm still coming to terms with it!). You don't need a man to do that. You just need to be with yourself and try and have nights on you own....time on your own.... without the turmoil of someone else.

Be with your daughter and try for a few days just to not text anyone else. I know how hard this is but just try and see how you are without that contact with others for just, say, two days. Think hard during that time about what you want.

Of course, if you need it, we're on the end of the phone, but my whole point is that you don't need a guy who is going to make you feel bad........and if you do have a relationship just make sure he treats you in the right way. hugs.

Sirona

Cordelia

thanks sirona

i'll try!!!

Cordelia

just an update to everyone that responded on my thread!

me and the bf are definately over in fact he has turned nasty threatening me with ringing my dad and telling him about us, and telling me ive treated him like s*** for months and its me thats ruined everything, and that unless i move in with him and have a baby and tell my ex about him its over!

I've just told him its over anyway and i hate him for what i have lost for him, (my sisters wedding etc and the hurt i've caused my family) i even went out at weekend and he was there and started saying hed give up anything for me and we should try again and while we were talking some girls came up and said hed kissed their friend earlier in the night! he denyed it then later said shed tried to kiss him! then denyed it again! i know hes lying and i feel so hurt,

so now i feel like i wish i had just faded from the religon and not caused so much hurt i feel like i want to get reinstated for my family and then leave, but i am still gonna mis some meetings and get my head together,

but why do i feel so hurt?? especailly when i know he is no good for me anyway!! even without all his nastiness, i've never felt like this before and it keeps making me want to get in touch with him but i know the best thing is just to never text or ring again isnt it??

jgnat

Perhaps option 2 is better for you now.

You hurt because you are human.

vitty

I wonder if your BF were to post here, what reaction he might get !

guys i really need your help

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