Marriage - Why bother?

by Spectrum 62 Replies latest social relationships

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    Yet another friend's marriage has broken down(5th), this one I did not predict at all. It came as a shock to me. They got married after 10 years of living together so it's not like they didn't know each other. Seven years of marriage later and they are serving divorce papers to each other over financial problems. Money is thicker than blood.

    Maybe I'm cynical because I've not seen any good happy "fairy tale" marriages around me. I've seen enough of the bad ones to make me think that marriage is a dangerous gamble. It's hard to imagine living with another personality in such close proximity and not get in each other's hair.
    I've been living in shared accommodation with women for many years and often their antics drive me mad. I'd be suicidal if I were married to any of them.

    ==============
    I'm not having a go at women.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    In my immediate family so far only one marriage survived until one of the spouses died, and they had their share of problems. I won't be getting married again, neither will I live with anyone again. Too much trouble.

    W

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    i have 2 sets of married friends. one seems very happy and we love being out with them and their very well behaved son. the other doesn't seem to be as happy.

    of all the kids i grew up with 1 lost wife to death and is remarried, 1 divorced once and is remarried, 2 are still married and 1 is widowed, divorced twice and is on 4th marriage. can't say how happy they are as they are witnesses, so not in touch.

  • willowmoon
    willowmoon
    I'd be suicidal if I were married to any of them.
    I won't be getting married again, neither will I live with anyone again. Too much trouble.

    So I take it you two might vote "no" on the multiple spouse question??? LOL

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/106025/1.ashx

    I don't think there are any "fairy tale" marriages. Maybe that's what many expect, then can't handle the reality.

    I think many couples give up to easily and quickly.

    But I still prefer not to be married ... don't see a lot of great benefits in it at this point.

    willow

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    I think that it's just too easy to get married and divorced in our society. I think if it were harder to get married, you'd stop to think about whether or not you really want to do it. And I think getting divorced is too easy as well. If it were hell to go through, then maybe people would stop and think about getting married in the first place.

    Mozz and I don't even mention divorce, even in our worst fights. It's off limits; not up for discussion; not even an option.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    So I take it you two might vote "no" on the multiple spouse question??? LOL

    Who needs multiple spouses when I already have Rocco screaming in one of my ears? He's loud enough for 5 of them!

    W

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    I was very hesitant and cynical about marriage too. I got married for the first time at age 36. I count myself very lucky to have someone I'm very compatible with. I think it's a rare thing.

  • IMustBreakAway
    IMustBreakAway

    I have always joked that marriage is a combination of self sacrifice and self preservation. But that concept has worked for us. Granted we have only been going at it for four years. (dated in good JW style(well mostly) for 3 years) But we are happy. We support each other and give each other space when needed. I think it helps that i travel for work and she is fairly independent. When i come home she is genuinely happy to see. (the cats on the other hand are not). We also have no children, which i have heard can add a lot of stress to the situation. And we never fight about money. Mainly we fight about; Each others family. (mine is controlling her's is insane), Our argumentation style, (i tend to be more logical she is more emotional), and the fact that we both hate our home state and need to leave. I think marriage can be great, it can be successful. But i don't think it is just hard work, though much is needed. It's also a matter of chemistry and psychology. You need to be a good mix of both..

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Honey, is that you? No seriously, you are sounding just like my husband....well, pretty close!!! That is freaky.

    We support each other and give each other space when needed.
    she is fairly independent.
    When i come home she is genuinely happy to see. (the cats on the other hand are not).
    We also have no children
    And we never fight about money.
    Mainly we fight about; Each others family.
    and the fact that we both hate our home state and need to leave

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    I would NEVER do it again.

    Why? I now see absolutely no point in putting a legal contract onto a relationship between two human beings! It serves no purpose.

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