My quest for the woman able to convince me to give up my freedom and marry? (page 5)

seven006

Lola,

Sometimes, after you have done all you mentioned you spend a long enough time with someone and you realize they are not what or who you thought they were when you first met. It’s kind of like being a JW and believing it whole-heartedly at first and then finding out “later” what it is “really” like. If people never changed and circumstances never changed and other people never grew people might stay together forever.

It happens. Reality can be a real eye opener at times and realizing you made a mistake can not change time or take back previous mistakes. If that didn’t happen we would all be as lucky as those who are still with their first loves. I have no idea where my first love lives or if she is happy. That’s life and life goes on.

Is everyone on this board still with their first loves?

Dave

seven006

Sparkplug,

Yes, I have learned a lot of lessons. Learning from a lesson is one thing, acting on what you have learned and not repeating some of those life lesson experiences is another.

I would have to completely understand every aspect of existence in the universe to understand where I fit in, or if I fit in, to know where I might fit it. I quit worrying about that a long time ago. It’s easier that way and it can drive you a little crazy trying. I had spent way too much time thinking way too much. I have not figured it ALL out but neither do I still want to try. I am content with what I do know and not concerned about what I do not.

I did stop trying about five years ago and I’m not dead yet nor do I think stopping to try will kill me. I have figured out who I am and how much I use to be messed up. I’m just letting that settle for a while. Then I’ll die.

Life goes on.

Dave

lola28

Mrs. Jones will you be my friend?

Seven, I know what you are saying it just seem that alot of people think nothing of having a child with someone but will freak out when the someone says the "M" word.

I always think WTF you will have a kid with Bob but wont marry him? This is just something that has always bothered me.

lola

Sparkplug

Learning from a lesson is one thing, acting on what you have learned and not repeating some of those life lesson experiences is another.

Then by that alone, you have possibly seen what I meant although I did not express it well.

I would have to completely understand every aspect of existence in the universe to understand where I fit in, or if I fit in, to know where I might fit it. I quit worrying about that a long time ago. It’s easier that way and it can drive you a little crazy trying. I had spent way too much time thinking way too much. I have not figured it ALL out but neither do I still want to try. I am content with what I do know and not concerned about what I do not.

Sounds like you have come to peace with yourself by the above statement. I guess I could have worded it a lot better than I did my first comment. Really I think what you said prior just hit a very tender wound with me today. That is all. I bet when I am not in such a jacked up mood...maybe tomorrow...you may not sound as wise as you do at this moment. lol.

lonelysheep

If you're going to make your relationship a legal one, then please don't do it just because you have a child together. Either she's the one you want to continue to be with or she isn't. There's nothing wrong with you being honest about your feelings.

seven006

Lola,

The “M” word has cost me close to a million dollars over the years and has made me think about doing bad stuff. I’m not a bad stuff doing kind of guy but any human can be pushed over the edge. I was just lucky enough to recognize that edge and regain my sanity.

I love my kids and they still love me. The “M” word has been brought up to me a few times since the “D” word ended the last “M”. I just realized a few years back that it wasn’t fair for me to enter into another relationship where the “M” word might come up again and I would have to kill myself. Suicide is illegal in Oregon and they can arrest you for that.

I can’t go back and unpregnate my evil ex-wife and I would never want to. My three sons are way too cool of people to want to do that. They have their mother’s good looks and my brains. They all have girlfriends (one of them for over 10 years) and the “M” word makes them run like hell. I don’t see why the “M” word is something that defines love or commitment outside of old outdated tradition and the lining of the pockets of “D” attorneys.

That’s just my take on it and I do not expect others to agree. It’s just my experience.

Sparkplug,

“Then by that alone, you have possibly seen what I meant although I did not express it well.”

You expressed it just fine, I just expanded on it from my perspective.

“Sounds like you have come to peace with yourself by the above statement.”

Peace is appreciated a lot more after a long war. Yes, I am almost at a Buddhist monk level of peace and enlightenment but without all that spiritual psychological pacifier crap.

“Really I think what you said prior just hit a very tender wound with me today.”

Sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s not my fault, I was raised in a cult.

“I bet when I am not in such a jacked up mood...maybe tomorrow...you may not sound as wise as you do at this moment. lol.”

Women get into jacked up moods? NO! tell me it isn’t true. Sorry, just kidding, I couldn’t pass that one up.

Dave

Sparkplug

Sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s not my fault, I was raised in a cult.

Actually made me smile.

coffee_black

The m word is scary for women too. I like my life the way it is right now...and I love my freedom. My bf & I spend time together, but we don't live together... not a single fight in 5 years. It works for us. I had a terrible marriage and it cost me plenty in every way imaginable. and I don't ever want to repeat that.

Coffee

lola28

Seven, I am so sorry you had to go through that, I guess what really bothers me is people that say things like “ I won't get married because I don't want a commitment” yet they will think nothing of having a child with the person they don't want to make a commitment too. I mean having a child is the biggest commitment anyone could ever make. I just can not understand the reasoning behind that, a marriage you can always end but you can not end a relationship between a child and his/her parent.

I just think that having a child is a bigger commitment than getting married.

lola

Billygoat

I love my kids and they still love me. The “M” word has been brought up to me a few times since the “D” word ended the last “M”. I just realized a few years back that it wasn’t fair for me to enter into another relationship where the “M” word might come up again and I would have to kill myself. Suicide is illegal in Oregon and they can arrest you for that.

*giggle*

You have a completely warped sense of humor. And I love it!

*waves at Dave*

Andi

My quest for the woman able to convince me to give up my freedom and marry?

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