Need help forgiving myself. (page 3)

SixofNine

It's hard to solve a problem if you won't admit that you actually have the problem in the first place.

That is why it's so heartening to see that you understand just how dirty the things you did to that girl are, and just how filthy all the thoughts you have about sex are, in the pure, untainted eyes of the Lord.

Have you given prayerful consideration to cutting off the parts of yourself that make you stumble?

ps... I have a crisis of faith too, and I'm not sure what to cut off. I can't seem to remember why we believe that book comes from God in the first place. I know it does of course, it just has to, everybody thinks so. I just can't figure out why, and the more I pray, the less I'm sure. Perhaps I should gouge out my brain thru my nasal passages.

uninformed

CLOUD,

In my days as a JW Elder, I gave a talk a bunch of times that had some great Bible references to sinners that you might benefit from.

King Manasseh, killed his firstborn, killed prophets of Jehovah such as Isaiah, (had him stuffed in a hollow log and then had the log sawed in two.

King David, responsible for the death of 70,000 on one occasion of disobedience. Another time killed a man and took his wife.

King Solomon, made political alliances with the nations around him by marrying hundreds of women.

Lot, got drunk a few times and had his way with his daughters.

Peter, denied Christ.

Paul and Barnabas had a good fight.

On and On.

If you continue to feel so bad about your sins, which appear to be very minor, you need to do one of two things, 1. Develop faith in God and his loving Son, Christ Jesus and understand that he died for you, or 2. Go see a shrink.

Welcome to the board.

u

JamesThomas

lol@6

cloud

LOL. uniformed, thanks, I needed that. Thats funny know that I think about, it those points you made.

BTW, I always hear bad things *obviously* about JW's, epecially elders on the net and through the world. (I'm Prebyterian as you can find in my previous posts on the first page.) So its refreshing to see that an Elder has a sense of humor.

But I do think JW's do have some good ideas and analyzations.

Oh and SixofNine, If I decided to cut the parts that made me stumble, if you read any of my last few posts, I would then be completely useless to my future wife, whoever that may be, and I would be blind. Heh. I can't have that. That would be a whole new depressing problem for me.

And I do believe in God existence, but I know where you are coming from. Back in highschool, I too struggled with the concept of God and though believed in him, I questioned him too. I know now he has to exist in some shape or form, because I know he's the only reason I'm still alive haven't gone off the deep end. I can't pray for myself, yet, I'm still blessed in someway. Somebody must be praying for me cause it ain't me.

What's funny is that right now, this girl might respect me for the spiritual help I gave the last few times I saw her, but here I am, tearing myself apart.

jgnat

Cloud, being Presbyterian, have you ever heard the expression, "Satan is the author of condemnation, but God convicts." Condemnation separates you from God because you do not consider yourself worthy. So who exactly did Jesus come for then? The perfect? No. Those who needed a healer? So in a way, you are the perfect candidate to open your heart to God and pour out all your guilt and pain.

Then let it go.

My heart mourns for young people like you, who cut yourselves off from life and forgiveness, by dwelling endlessly on a stumble or sin.

Let it go.

jgnat

I have a story that might make you feel better.

In High School my son dated a girl. They did everything "dutch". As neither had a car, he'd say goodby at the bus transfer station and she'd get herself home. I'm a little old fashioned, so I found it odd. But he insisted that it worked for the two of them. One late night the girl's mother called, the girl was not home yet. Mom was frantic. I could hear her tear my son a new one, and I was ten feet from the phone. My son turned white, and the arrogance of youth quickly dropped off and he answered respectfully, "Yes ma'am... no ma'am...I hadn't thought of that... yes..no...is see that now..." and so on.

The two grew apart and the girl moved to the west coast. It's now many years later, and my son and the mom happened to meet up in my son's Art class. I guess my boy doesn't look so bad in hindsight. Mom gave my son the girl's new number. They've been chatting ever since.

Spectrum

Cloud,

You are beating yourself up over nothing. At 26 you should be enjoying life not having pangs of guilt over kissing and touching up a girl.
I'd go for homeotherapy ie. the more girls you do it with the less guilty you will feel. I was a virgin until the age of 29. When I finally did it I felt really guilty and dirty, looking back I feel so stupid that I felt that way and didn't manage to enjoy my first time with my sexy girlfriend.
Believe me, the guilt you are feeling now is a waste of emotion and unecessarily depressing. Sow your wild oats and don't worry be happy.

cloud

jgnat LOLOL. That is exactly what freaking happened to me. I was on the phone, saying, "No ma'am, ....... I respect your daughter ma'am, ........ I love your daughter ma'am.......... I wouldn't dream of it ma'am........." Oh the horrors. I usually consider myself to be a nice guy. Not bragging, but I wouldn't hurt a fly, so when I was being screamed at I just felt lower than crap. I don't even remember everything that was said, (Probably traumatically blocked it out) I remember hearing that I "should be disappointed in yourself, and your mother would be disappointed in you". Lo and behold, My mom wasn't but, I was.

Funny thing is that I remember my mom saying a girl called here for me about a month ago while I was at work, but she didn't leave a number or name. Trust me, no other girl is calling my number, I don't even give it out (due to the fact I haven't met any girl I liked yet). Unless of course it was just a tele-marketer or something, but my mom said the person just nervously hung up after she found out I wasn't there. Then I stumbled across her myspace recently....

Well you never know, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. I should keep my world broad.

But anyway thanks for the story. And I will try to open up more to God.

cloud

BTW, Spectrum, While appreciate your technique,LOL I'm not structructured to work that way. The more girls I do it with, that will most likely become frivolous and ultimately empty to me. I'm a serious reltionship kinda guy and I can't really imagine myself having sex with girls just for number count, if thats what you mean. I need to have some type of emotional investment. (Unless of course they just jumped on top of me and they looked like Old school- Angelina Jolie or Toni Braxton, but thats not happening so...) Though I'm glad you managed to find happiness for yourself.

Forscher

Cloud,
So many times in the Gospels jesus told folks that they were forgiven and to "go forth and sin no more". You've obviously crossed a line representing what you consider right and proper and find it hard to forgive yourself. The key here is you hold yourself accountable in God's eyes and your own. Jesus recognized that in the people he met, hence what he told them.
We are not capable of keeping a perfect law. God recognises that which is why he made provision for us to recieve his forgiveness on the basis of his son's sacrifice. God knows your heart. He knows how you really feel. Since he knows far better than I your worthiness for forgiveness be assured that the forgiveness is already extended. So go forth and sin no more. That is do the best you can to live up to what you understand him to ask of you.
Forscher

Need help forgiving myself.

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