"You have a week to Move out" PLEASE HELP! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! (page 5)

BlackPearl

Stilla,

I have stared fear in the face, never letting it know I was more afraid of it, than it was of me, and it backed down, it ran away, I prevailed. - The BlackPearl

Why do we fear things or events? Only because the outcome of the event or thing we are dealing with is unknown. What if we could change our thought patterns to think; Wow! I wonder how fantastically the decisions I make today will enrich me (materially and/or physcologically) in the future. I'm confident I'm making the right make decisions!

I just arrived back home from a business conference, I'd like to share with you Stilla, these quotes from some famous and not so famous people. Ponder them carefully, think positively, make your decisions.

"A year from now you will wish you started today." - Karen Lamb

"One decision can change your life." - Tony Robbins

"You have to think anyway, so why not think big." - Donald Trump

"Create a magnificent goal, a goal so grand that it is both inspiring and intimidating. Make realizing the goal your mission in life." - Steven Marshall

"I am more important than my problems." - Jose Ferrer

"The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it." - Jean Baptiste Moliere

The moral of the story is...if you think can't do it, you won't. If you believe in your heart you can do whatever it is you wish to achieve, you WILL do it.

Best wishes to you, keep praying to Jehovah for guidence, don't fear the organization, don't fear anything or anyone,...except the giver of life...Jehovah. Stare fear in the face, it will run and hide, you will prevail.

sass_my_frass

Hey Stilla, yikes what a situation. Your parents probably think they still have the strings on you. Sounds like you don't really know yourself. I moved out at 23, and I left it too late. So much life I could have been living, but I was with my parents. Too much wasted time.

Okay, you're not moving into an ideal situation. I'd have to agree that moving in with your boyfriend is a dangerous move, it makes you dependent on him. If he's a great guy, it will work out. If he's not, you'll find out soon. This will be a very important time for the two of you. It's also important that you realise that you will be disfellowshipped sooner or later if you move in with him. If you decide to hide him away to protect yourself from that, you'll damage your relationship and prolong the misery of this waiting game. A choice to move in with him will eventually lead to disciplinary action.

Save money wherever you can. Do you really need a car to get to work? My first job had me on the train and bus for three hours a day, but I saved thousands and finally paid cash for a near-new car. Be prepared to make sacrifices for the things you need to survive.

Thinking of you, keep it together.

rockhound

Hello stillAwitness

So this morning she and my dad announce that they knew I was lying, that I was not at the bookstudy and that "anyone who is a liar and not serving Jehovah whole-souled needs to leave their house." So they have announced that I have a week to move out.

I think that under the circumstances, I would suggest that you call a near by church of your choice and tell your story to the minister in charge. Let him know that your Jehovahs Witness parents have given you one week to get out, because of the above reason, and ask for help. I think that chances are very good that some family in their chruch would help you with temporary safe shelter, till you can get on your feet. If your parents want to know where you are moving to, let them know that you were forced by them to go to a local Christian church for help and shelter. I'm sure that a local Christian church would be eager to give to you the help that your parents refuse you. I hope that this is a practical suggestion. I have a feeling that your parents may have a change of heart , when they realize the impact that this would have on the local neighborhood.

Rockhound

KW13

stilla, what rockhound said is true. the people from a local church were very good to me, and offered me a bed to stay in "as long as i needed it"

LDH

Gosh, I wish i didn't feel so weak all the time. In my mind its always can't can't can't.

OK Stilla, time to be a big girl.

You have known for a while that this was coming and from what I read, you have no EMERGENCY FUND or plan. That's a lesson to you for the future. Some things I 'know' about you from reading your posts.

1. You like to be taken care of. Look out, not many people in this world will offer you that without exacting a price.

2. You like nice things. Time to stop shopping at Neiman Marcus and go to Target like the rest of us.

3. You do not have the wherewithall to make a plan about ANYTHING, believing it will 'all work out in the end.' Sorry sis,you gotta put in your effort. This is a syndrome called "Princess Syndrome" I believe or something similar. You believe a prince will come on a white horse and ride your ass outta there. Ain't gonna happen.

4. Even 'models' and 'actresses' will get REAL PEOPLE jobs to help support themselves. Go apply at Kohl's or Arby's or something.

5. Your parents have encouraged your co-dependent lifestyle. DON'T ASK THEM FOR A MOTHER@*#&ING THING. Let the doorknob hit you where the good lord split you.

Look in the newspaper for a studio apartment, you should be able to get one for about $300 a month. As an added bonus, because they are about as big as a closet, you won't need a lot of stuff in there to make it feel like home.

Once you have a home, Do these things:

1. create a budget for incoming money vs. outgoing money.

2. set up utilities in your name

3. Put in a forward mail order http://www.usps.com

4. change your address at the DMV

5. get cable or whatever else you need to get hooked up.

and you're in business. That's pretty much it.

Oh, except for the fact that if someone had thrown an ultimatum of ONE WEEK at my, my punk ass would be gone the next night. Believe it.

Lisa

There's No Crying in Baseball Class

wednesday

rockhound,

that was one great suggestion and I agree with you, the only bump in the road is her age. she is 22, not 16-17, . by now is an adult in any states laws. But it is worth a try. The elders will still try and Df her, they will now call it spiritual fonication if she goes to a worldy church. you see, they have the rules made where they win, no matter what.You either stay a jws and be happy about it, or out the door. A womens shelter might help, but few are going to feel sorry for a 22 yr old without a child etc. They might give you a bed however and shelter so you can get your life together.

I realize that kids are staying home longer now, and I think that is good, children have for a long time been forced out . Jws are the worst about this esp if the young person does not want to be a jws. I hear kids say things like "the minute I turn 18 i'm out the door' and they go. This is a serious mistake and one it seems up until now Stilla's parents have NOT made. They are still allowing their 22 yr old daughter to live with them and more or less pay her way. That is pretty good for jws, since it seems she is showing very little interest in the jws world. They have to be pretty good jws parents.

I bet some elder somewhere has possibly threatned them , saying they should not allow a 22 yr old adult to live in their house unless they were serving jehovah. I recall this happenig in a cong years ago. the elder held fast however, his son stayed in his home, and left when he got ready. the elder never forced him out, not over being a jws.

I had not thought of this when i posted previously, but the parents , may have been given strong advice (possibly something from the conventions) to oust her from the house or they are acountable.

Isn't is always about who controls the money?

Witchettygrub

Stilla,

All this advice is excellent and I havn't anything extra to add excepting that I was in your position and with two children in tow many years ago. I faced all those fears you have and got through it.
A door has closed behind you. Ahead is a new door. Go through it to the other side.

Witchettygrub

damselfly

If you let people know what is going on then they will be surprisingly helpful. When this was going on with years ago I had several offers from families willing to take me in. I wish I had taken them up on it instead of moving in with my boyfriend. That was a situation we were not ready for and that ultimately lead to my D"Fing. If this is something you are worried about then be aware of it happening.

You've got a job? Well paying? and an education? You are already ahead. Look on the bullitin boards at school, ask around as to who is looking for a roommate. Summer sublets (short term options are sometimes the best ones) should be popping up all over the place. You can do this and you will be fine. Trust me, you will get thru this.

Dams

wednesday

LDH

thank you for stating the extreme obivious.

this is why I kept saying

you are 22 not 16.

stilla, hon, you have had a spoiled privleged life. you are really lucky your jws parents have allowed you to stay this long.

really, stilla,

life is fun

it is not a death sentence.

Mulan

I think that under the circumstances, I would suggest that you call a near by church of your choice and tell your story to the minister in charge. Let him know that your Jehovahs Witness parents have given you one week to get out, because of the above reason, and ask for help.

This is what I was going to suggest. I know the churches in our area have lots of programs for regugees (aliens?). The congregation never has to know this unless you tell them. I would give it a try. I know my daughters in law's churches would help. Too bad you aren't in Seattle, but not much of a future for models here.

You'll be fine. I think most people your age are trying to make it on their own. I have a 20 year old granddaughter who has an apartment with 3 other girls she met at work. She got the apartment when she was 19. She wasn't kicked out, just wanted to be independent. It isn't a perfect situation, and the girls are not her buddies, but they work it out.

"You have a week to Move out" PLEASE HELP! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

Share this