Womens Right`s are they Wrong?

by dido 87 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  purplesofa

  I don't know if because women have gone to work, it takes two to make ends meet. We have to have a worth now, and there does not seem to be the value of what a women truely contributes being a stay at home mom. Maybe I feel this way because I had such a large family.

  I have worked twenty years, provider of my household, 5 children, and I know what it's like to be out there working and not making the wages men make. There is no way that I think that is right.

  I applied for a job twenty years ago and was told I would not be hired as I had 5 children, that I would not show up for work. There is no way that would happen now.

  I still think women get a bad deal. I have seen the difference of treatment of me when there is a man involved......dealing with anything. A major purchase, a complaint, kids etc etc. It can get very discouraging.

  The more educated I am of other countries and cultures, being in America is so much better than what many women deal with other places.

  I have seen alot of change in the way society deals with spousal abuse and I am glad for that.

  In the workplace I find that women are very giving. They give things naturally without thinking of compensation. Where men see that as another service or skill provided (whatever it may be) and want better wages for it.

  We've come a long way baby,

  purps

  ps I was fortunate enough that someone (a man) recognized talent in me and believed in me in the workplace. I was a woman AND did not have a college degree.........in pretty much of a mans world. It was a wonderful opportunity but he did have me alot cheaper than if I were a man ......or a man with a degree.
• 

  diamondblue1974

  i think they have done us a disservice, by trying to be `equal` to men in the workplace. I`ve noticed that career women get to about 35 then start to regret not having babies or settling down, mainly because they havent had the inclination up til then. I am glad that i was `old school` as i was very happy in domestic bliss, having all the time in the world to look after my family and please myself, (that`s til i became a jw) but i still devoted the time to my family, and there is nothing better in life than doing that in my IMO.

  But what about if you needed to go to work; surely you would want to be treated as an equal instead of the victim of discrimination?

  And nowadays it is possible to juggle homelife and worklife equally providing you get the right support at home from your partner; As far as being a disservice is concerned, I believe the struggle for equality has done some considerable good, although I would be the first to say it isnt perfect.

  I do suppose it is each to their own.

  DB74
• 

  dido

  Mary- if my husband was to turn out to be a paedophile/violent alcaholic or wife beater, there is no way in this world that i would stay with him. I would take my kids and run, that is why a person should get to know your prospective partner before hand, so as to avoid those situations. In England, women don`t have to stay and put up with that sort of treatment, they do get support to leave. I can`t speak for America.

  diamondblue- you say what if they `need` to go to work. In the cases that i have seen, most people could manage on one wage, a lot of the time they go because they want luxury`s at the expense of the children being farmed out .

  purps- it must have been bery hard to bring up 5 kids and work, can i ask how you ended up having to suport the kids on your own, didn`t you get any help from their father?

  Elsewhere- most of us can change diapers blindfolded, and whats so hard about a pole dance?
• 

  diamondblue1974

  diamondblue- you say what if they `need` to go to work. In the cases that i have seen, most people could manage on one wage, a lot of the time they go because they want luxury`s at the expense of the children being farmed out .

  But what about the issue as to choice? You should be able to choose whether or not to stay and work at home or whether to devote your life to a career and later children if able?

  Equality aims to provide that choice...do you not see that as a good thing?

  DB74
• 

  dido

  diamondblue-i have given the example of women that have chosen a career, and have regretted not starting a family earlier. Of course it`s a matter of choice, until children come along, then they should come first.
• 

  solo

  then of couse there's those who don't want children, so I'm very grateful to those women for what they did all those years ago

  a while ago I was working alongside a man with a degree (I am a female without) and he was earning my salary plus half again to do a lesser job than me

  I have also been in many situations where a female collegue has gone on maternity leave and I have been expected to help cover her job without an increase to my salary or even a bonus.

  I don't want children but I would love to take a year off work to persue my interests whilst still being paid with the opportunity to return to my post when I'm done!

  I'm not bitter don't get me wrong, we all want different things out of life. I am independent and self sufficient, I would rather look after myself and am proud that I can and do but at the same time I love my relationship with my man, I am with him because I want to be with him not because I need him or need looking after.

  Other women want marriage and babies and a man to look after them, if that's what you want and you can find someone to do that for you - good for you!
• 

  diamondblue1974

  diamondblue-i have given the example of women that have chosen a career, and have regretted not starting a family earlier. Of course it`s a matter of choice, until children come along, then they should come first.

  Totally agreed. The point I was raising was that it could be argued that the quest for equality has given women more choice; for example, the choice to work in career or to work at home should they wish....I was wondering how you considered that a disservice? Looking forward to the curry... DB74
• 

  Mary

  Mary- if my husband was to turn out to be a paedophile/violent alcaholic or wife beater, there is no way in this world that i would stay with him. I would take my kids and run, that is why a person should get to know your prospective partner before hand, so as to avoid those situations. In England, women don`t have to stay and put up with that sort of treatment, they do get support to leave. I can`t speak for America.

  Uh, no American women feel the same way (I'm actually Canadian) but that's only because of Women's Rights that they now have a choice to leave. How many women actually know that their prospective hubby is a pedophile, or was going to beat her up? Most women haven't a clue about this until after they've got the ring on their finger and a couple of kids. You say you would "take your kids and run", but where exactly would you run to and how would you support yourself? Let's say this very scenario happened to you 50 or 60 years ago. Your husband's been beating the hell out of you and the kids and you want to leave. Small problem: the law won't charge or arrest him (as it was only seen as a "domestic" call, and you've got little, if any money to put down as first and last month's rent on another place. Even if you did have that money, how do you affort food, clothing and other necessities for your children when you'd only be qualified for low-paying jobs? 50 years ago, if a man didn't want to pay child support, no one made him. And this is exactly why so many women ended up staying with men who were violent, alcoholic, or abusive. It's easy for you to say you'd "run", because you weren't in those circumstances. Believe me, the reality of the trap women find themselves is not so easily resolved and you would not have found it so easy to leave as you might imagine. To this day I know plenty of women who stay with their abusive husbands purely out of economic reasons. Have Women's Rights gone too far? Absolutely. However, it's also helped women enormously too.

  I would strongly recommend you read a book called "The Burning Bed" which details the life of Francine Hughes and how she was trapped in a marriage with a total nutbar who beat the hell out of her and abused her for years until she finally snapped. She had no education and every time she left him, she ended up having to come back because of economic reasons.
• 

  dido

  solo- if you choose not to have children and be happy, that is your perogative, personally, when i met my husband, i didn`t plan to have kids, so i wasn`t looking for a mealticket, but when i started to have kids, it was an automatic thing for me to look after them and he was quite happy to go to work to support us, he wanted me home and i was happy to stay.

  Mary- my mother was the generation that you are talking about, and there was no way she would stay and put up with that. Her family would have made sure she was fine, and so would mine too. I know not everybody has a network to help them, but i still don`t agree with women staying and putting up with that abuse, for whatever reasons.
• 

  solo

  solo- if you choose not to have children and be happy

  you make it sound like the alternative is to have children and be miserable , surely this can't be true!!!

  Sorry, this really made me laugh, must be my warped sense of humour!