Gays Leave JWD!

by hambeak 141 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Confession

  I could care less about people being gay.....but WHAT THE HELL IS THE CONNECTION WITH BEING AN EX-JW? I don't get it.

  Bizzy Bee, most all of us here have something in common: we escaped from the control of a legalistic and authoritarian religious organization. The effects have been extraordinary. Some who were sexually abused were told to keep their mouths shut while their rapists continued to give talks and lead the congregation. Some were told their only role was to be submissive underlings because of their sex. Some lost loved ones because of the position on blood transfusions. Many, many have lost their families because of the draconian practice of shunning. And many were taught to believe that if they desired those of the same sex, they were defective perverts.

  We all had different experiences. If you were gay, I'm betting the experience of growing up a JW would have been profoundly damaging to you. Why can't you understand why they'd want to talk about it--just like everyone else is discussing topics relevant to their experiences?
• 

  JeffT

  He called back and said he won't post again if this is a queer loveing forum

  If you get a chance deliver a message for me: Being a generally conservative Christian I'm in a minority here, but as far as I'm concerned he should make sure the door doesn't hit his ass on the way out, I'm not going to hold it for him. To be honest I don't pay much attention to who is gay and who isn't, I'm here to talk about JW issues. We're all better off without him.
• 

  Abandoned

  He called back and said he won't post again

  Cool! Problem solved.
• 

  compound complex

  Dear Hambeak-----

  You cheered me up when I was down. As we discussed, the Society says only evil comes from from such forums. When I see all these comments---'specially Sparky's---it reminds me when a fellow teacher libelled me, a friend like Sparky tore that person to pieces and settled the matter before I even knew what was happening! And it was big in the community. I choose not to sue. Suffice it to say, to this day "Calamity Jane" is still the tops with me. It was hard enough being on the straight and narrow with the troof, but to be forced and beaten into the shape of a stereotypical heterosexual male is intolerable. I know what love is and I know what it ain't. And so do MOST here! Everything you said, Decki, I know is true. You go girl! Are you still spittin' nails? I have friends like you that got me through the last 5 years of hell, where I lost everything except my kids and real friends. Now I'm recovering because this forum has renewed my will to live. Hambeak--you're my newest best friend!

  The other Sparky
• 

  Gretchen956

  (((((Hambeak))))) This is not the first time this has been debated. In the past there were some very nasty things said, and the moderators had to lock threads and even once or twice deleted someone for inciting hatred. Those threads were confined to a gay topic matter (so not everyone may have seen them), and it seemed like the same one or two people would come in and spew forth their canned messages ala Pat Robertson. In fact I know of several gay folk who left at those times because of the vitriol.

  But hey I'm still here. Mostly because I don't need to have someone else's acceptance to accept who I am. It took me a long time to get there, it was a struggle I wouldn't want to wish on anyone. But other gay ex-JWs can relate. It's one thing to leave the cult, and have brainwashing withdrawals. To also think that you are a condemned pervert because that's what you have been fed all your life, well lets just say that it takes a strong person to overcome that.

  Not everyone does overcome it. My nephew snuck into a locked cabinet, loaded a pistol and killed himself rather than own up to his parents that he was gay. After all he saw first hand what the religion and the family does to gays. He has seen my older brother and myself lambasted all his lifetime. He knew that we were doubly cursed by the family and the religion, and, he believed, by god.

  If in fact this person is struggling with his/her sexuality, its very common to go through a very homophobic phase as you vehemently deny who you are. You have to feel sorry for him/her. And sorry for a world where this type of struggle ends so often with a person's last breath.

  Stick around, Hambeak, most on this board are loving accepting people. And the ones that aren't, well I'm glad when they speak up so I know who they are. The ones that scare me are the ones that think they are accepting, but every time they see you bring up questions as to what causes homosexuality, or who's the man, or etc.

  Bless you for trying to help.

  Sherry
• 

  Sparkplug

  Busy Bee~Just imagine for a moment that you are gay~ Think of all the threads we have on things such as who is hot and who is not. Sexuality, and children, dating and all of the sort of things a gay person would not always be so happy about being permeated with everyday. There are all kinds of exJW's and that is just the point. I am a mother and single and my threads head in that direction. Thus moms and single moms may get help from things posted on my threads. Some are fathers and some are not. Each gravitates towards what kind of exjw you may be. And like it or not There are a lot of EJ JW's that are gay.

  Imagine how freaking hard it was for them growing up a witness. All the comments they heard. All the repressed sexuality. From the stage everything was putting them down. Hell people cracked jokes from the stage at gay people and oh boy they really were going to die at Armageddon. So being gay has a lot to do with being an exjw. There is a huge group of people that have so much healing to do and have experiences that some of us never will have to go through.

  Heck some of us straight ones meet and fall in love here. We have had sex with others and some have children together here. There is nothing wrong with gay people mingling just the same as straight do in this respect also. Not that that is what Hambeak does, but really, where can a person raised as we were get a good person. Usually I notice most ex jw's would like someone nice for life. That is hard to find. Now imagine you are in the Gay dating world. Geez that has to be hell to find a loyal partner.

  So perhaps I think if you take all the pain we have most gay people that are exjw's have gone through it all and then they have another whole set of things to heal from. Sadly enough it is thinking like yours that they also have to heal from. Be it redhead, mother father, widow, orphan, daughter, single, straight, bi, gay or whatever. .....WE ALL are exJWs and it all is relevant.
• 

  SixofNine

  I gave him my phone # in a pm because he was haveing problems and maybe I could give him some advice. I feel sorry for him as he is very unhappy. I think he has closeted feelings that are tearing him apart. Just lets give him some compassion.

  m'OK, but I just think he should know that...
• 

  Confession

  Hey, is that Ponch?
• 

  Sparkplug

  He called back and said he won't post again if this is a queer loveing forum.

  Damn. I was hoping he would stay around and learn something. Gain some friends and find some love.

  ~~~~walking away kicking rocks~~~

  a friend like Sparky tore that person to pieces and settled the matter before I even knew what was happening!

  I think it is pent up sexual frustrations. I am now convinced I am a gay man... I just love men! (you all know I am joking right) ((just so we don't start that mess again))
• 

  SixofNine

  Ponch? Are you kidding? That dude barely has even a hint of love handles.