Gwen,
Oro, I sort of take offense to your indicating that following the "rules" in the JW org is optional for all JWs and that if one would only stand up to the elders and oneself then they can pretty much live their life however they wanted without consequences in the JW org. That just isn't true, especially if you
Umm i think you are confusing me with Quandry. while agree to an extent with what Quandry says and means, any outward rebellion towards the elders or the society woudl in most circumstances bring down the iron fist of punishment upon the person.
Restrangled, you crack me up. Who do you think dropped that "little tidbit" that you speak of? Me! And its no secret. A good summary bio is available for all to read at my website.
As to the fact that my dad went inactive during the decade that corresponded to my teens, the only effect this really had was to undermne the few times when he did try to tell me somethng about going to the meetings, etc. because I would always retort that he was supposed to be my example and that if he didn't go then neither did I have to which would leave him with no response.
But i don't think it would have affected the general liberality my parents extended to me from when I was a small child. In part, they had 6 other children older than me, and I think by the time they got to me they had learned a lot. My siblings did not have the same freedoms that I had, though even they did to some extent get to do things like orchestra and some limited sports.
when my dad was an elder he was in bowling leagues, etc, so I think it was just his own views and personality and that wouldn't have changed how he treated me, if he had been an elder during the 1980s.
The other part of the story is that I always used pretty good judgment, a few run ins with the cops aside, and my parents let me make choices because they recognized that my maturity in those areas and trusted me.
The fundamental problem with the typical JW upbringing, the one that the Society teaches, is that it doesn't allow the child to gradually accept and act upon trust. Instead Children are tightly controlled until when, as is often the case, they do have an opportunity that they haven't had before and without a history of good decision making, they often make poor choices. (Very much like the "beautiful girl" story related in this thread.) Anyway, this getting away from the topic of the thread.