by OnTheWayOut 67 Replies latest jw friends
WOW.
Guys and gals, don't totally hijack my thread, but
DO NOT CALL is a long time reader, first time poster.
(Okay, this is the second post.) Welcome DNC, thanks for
your input. You are welcome to the active JWD. Please
start your own thread or answer questions here on mine from
other posters. Or just hang out, whatever is comfortable, but
WELCOME.
Onthewayout, do you have a plan should elders show up to your house uninvited? I do like your idea to keep meetings on neutral ground.
(Sorry about the hyjack, I will make this my last question.)
Jay, don't make it your last question. Thanks for your help.
do you have a plan should elders show up to your house uninvited?
I would answer the door. I would say that I will be glad to listen to them
another time at the K.H. If they ask, can we come in, I will just say NO.
I think the average JW thinks he can be DF'ed for being uncooperative with
the elders. Many of us have learned that uncooperative is fine. I will even
be pleasant with them, so it should be no big problem to just say NO.
Thanks for sharing your story OTWO...
Also, in the course of our conversation, I told the wife:
"Don't just answer questions with Witness cliche'. Think about your answers.
You answered one question with 'Education with a purpose.'
You answered another with 'The light gets brighter...'
Give questions some real thought and answer from your thinking."
I was talking about mind-control cults, so she knew she had to
show me that she could answer without a WTS answer.
Why did you need so badly to get a master's degree- against WT policy?...You're not pioneering....
Your wife has a college degree and isn't pioneering. I can just see her posting here with us in the next year or so.
She's a thinker, but seems to cling to the Jdubs for social reasons.
Expanding her social circle to include non witness friends will be a very important factor in helping her feel more at ease and break away from the religion.
YC
Also, in the course of our conversation, I told the wife:
"Don't just answer questions with Witness cliche'. Think about your answers.
I liked this... I'm going to use it with my husband if I get a chance.
Your fade is going very well.. I think it's great that you can talk to your wife about WT issues as much as you do. For me at this point, the WT and the fact that I'm completely inactive now, is like the elephant in the room. Can't discuss it - It's still such a sore point that both of us are afraid that the relationship we destroyed when I faded, and have now patched up, would crumble again if we did.
Keep that communication going.
GGG
My ex-husband got me to think like you are getting your wife to think. (He's an ex because he abused me, so this is not to suggest that your experience will turn out like mine.) I believe she is a resonable person and will in time follow you out. I hope the best with you two.
He asked me questions like, "Why do they not accept people if they can only afford dress pants and a shirt and not a suit? Why do they insist that you dress just like them and not accept you when you follow the principles of dressing modestly and respectfully?"
"Explain to me from the scriptures how Jesus could be the archangel. Is that the only conclusion you could come to by reading those scriptures?"
"When I was in the Baptist church, people were so much more loving and accepting. I was truely happy. Now that I have become a Jehovah's Witness, I find the people to be cold and they stay in cliques and exclude people like me who did not grow up here. I am a lot more unhappy."
I do not know how you could use these questions. I hope you could adapt them to your circustances or they will inspire you to some non-threatening questions of your own.
What is sad is the ones who where smart enough to not get baptized get rewarded with fellowship.......
The poor kids who got baptized at 15 (to keep everyone happy)..........are screwed....if they ever leave.
IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!
Thanks to more posters for your help and comments.
new boy, you are the first to comment on that portion. The others were
discussing the marriage and the fade. I wondered what people thought of
my wife's family situation. A DF'ed sister that only my wife shuns.
A father who left her mother, both of them go to the K.H. but were never
baptized. How's this going to affect her?
