Nosferatu's School of Dating - Lesson 2.1 - The Approach

by Nosferatu 40 Replies latest social relationships

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Now that you've done your practice on starting conversations with strangers, it's time to actually approach women.

    First of all, let's cover what NOT to do when approaching a woman:

    1) NEVER approach a woman from behind. You will startle her. If she gets negative feelings from you from the get go, things will not go well.

    2) DO NOT get your friend to approach her for you. Women like men who can confidently approach them and begin a conversation. If you get a friend to approach her, your friend will have a better chance of getting a date with her.

    3) DO NOT write her a note to let her know you exist. It's impersonal and highschool-ish.

    4) DO NOT compliment her on her physical appearance to get her interested. Women get complimented often from other men. You want to be different and original.

    5) DO NOT use a common pickup line to get her attention. Common pick up lines portray a lack of creativity, a lack of originality, and desperation.

    Approach Anxiety

    You will most likely get a heavy dose of approach anxiety when you see a woman you'd like to approach. This is what will kill your success if you don't overcome it. One of the "tricks" that is promoted in the seduction community is the three second rule. After you see a woman, you count to three, and then start walking toward her. If you've been practicing approaching and conversing with strangers, your approach anxiety should be a bit easier to overcome. Focus on getting your legs to move in the direction of the woman instead of what you're going to say. It's here where the observation skills you've practiced will be useful. Remember, you'll be more upset if you fail to approach than if you approach and get rejected.

    Approach the woman from the front, and begin with your natural opener. Keep the conversation pleasant, light-hearted, and even fun. If you find yourself running out of things to say, just excuse yourself and take a small break Say something like, "Well, I have to go back to babysitting my friends, but I'll chat with you in a little bit". After a few minutes, you may approach the woman again and continue conversing with her.

    The actual seduction does NOT happen on the initial approach. It begins once you build up some good rapport between the two of you. I hope to get more into building rapport in the next lesson, followed by the number close.

    Note that this is what you use for places where people are pretty much stationary such as a bar, or even a store where the woman is working. I suggest practicing this before doing cold approaches at places like grocery stores where women are not going to remain for long periods of time. Once you get better at approaching women, then feel free to see how quickly you can get a phone number from a woman in public.

    Women in groups

    Many times, you will not encounter a woman who is by herself at the bar. They usually go to the bar in herds consisting of other women, and sometimes men. When you encounter women in groups, there is a good chance you will encounter a cockblocker. A cockblocker is someone who will prevent you from successfully meeting, building rapport, and number closing a woman. Female cockblockers are more difficult to bypass than male ones. Men will usually just try to insult you while the women will physically take your target elsewhere.

    The best way to get into the group of people where your target is located is to approach the least attractive person(s) in the group, and work your way up. The least attractive people are the ones who will be the most likely to cockblock you, so you need to make friends with them first before going for your target.

    Continue to move up in the group ladder in order of attractiveness. For example, you begin talking to the men, then the women you find unattractive, and then your target. DO NOT try to number close all of the women in the group. Choose one woman per group.

    When working your group, try to ignore your target until you've made "friends" with the rest of the group. If she tries to get your attention, call her on it. For example, say "Wow, don't you just want to be the center of attention!" or "Hey, wait your turn!". Treat her like she's the LEAST desireable in the group until you're done working the rest of the group. This is where neg-hits come in handy, but I'll get into those later since they're not completely necessary and are easy to screw up.

    NOTE: If your target happens to be the girfriend of someone else in the group, excuse yourself from the group and find another target elsewhere. If you want to find out if she's taken, just ask the person you're talking to "So how does everybody know each other?" (Yes, I took that one from Mystery).

    After you've disarmed the potential cockblockers in the group by making them your friends, create a bit of rapport with your target. At this point, you don't even need much rapport with her since she's been wanting your attention for the entire time you've been talking to her friends. To get things under way, take her out of the group to dance with her, to play pool with her, to smoke with her, or to just chat with her.

    When taking your target away from her group of friends, don't be afraid to be a tad aggressive with her. If she hesitates to leave the group, grab her hand, give her arm a slight tug, and say "Come on, have some fun!" If she still hesitates, tell her with a half smile that she's no fun. Give her a couple of minutes to change her mind. If she doesn't, then it's likely she's not interested and it's time to find another target, possibly even someone else in the group.

    This is perhaps the most difficult part of picking up women. It takes confidence, bravery, social skills, and many other things to pick up a woman in real life. Again, I emphasize that practice makes perfect. Once you get this routine down to the last detail, it becomes almost natural.

    Now that we've got the routine down, we need to focus on the content of the conversation. Make way for building rapport!

  • skyking
    skyking

    The same tactics work on the cows I have in the field. I beleive the Bull must of took lesson 2.1. Most defenitly works for him. We have lot of calves running around.

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    When taking your target away from her group of friends, don't be afraid to be a tad aggressive with her. If she hesitates to leave the group, grab her hand, give her arm a slight tug, and say "Come on, have some fun!"

    WTF???

    Yes, women just love having their arms grabbed and pulled on by creepy strangers in a bar. I believe thats why BOUNCERS exist. I believe many of these techniques are used by these guys LOL :

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu
    Yes, women just love having their arms grabbed and pulled on by creepy strangers in a bar.

    You seemed to have missed the parts about conversation and rapport. This isn't about going up to a woman you don't know and pulling her out of her chair. This is about leading a woman into your world.

    It's funny how many women have given this "creepy stranger" the time of day. Why do you think that is?

  • J-ex-W
    J-ex-W

    The best way to get into the group of people where your target is located is to approach the least attractive person(s) in the group, and work your way up. The least attractive people are the ones who will be the most likely to cockblock you, so you need to make friends with them first before going for your target.

    Continue to move up in the group ladder in order of attractiveness. For example, you begin talking to the men, then the women you find unattractive, and then your target. DO NOT try to number close all of the women in the group. Choose one woman per group.

    LOL --Oh, your advice is SO horrible ! ! ...And yet, I can't NOT READ!!! >> LOL >> stomping my feet, shaking my head in absolute hoot-howling disbelief!!!

    I don't have time to really respond right now, but I am going to HAVE to come back to this one!!

    Oh, Nosferatu...you entertain me so well!

    Female cockblockers are more difficult to bypass than male ones. Men will usually just try to insult you while the women will physically take your target elsewhere.

    This one is so true. I have a story for this one....

    Treat her like she's the LEAST desireable in the group until you're done working the rest of the group. This is where neg-hits come in handy, but I'll get into those later since they're not completely necessary and are easy to screw up.
    When taking your target away from her group of friends, don't be afraid to be a tad aggressive with her. If she hesitates to leave the group, grab her hand, give her arm a slight tug, and say "Come on, have some fun!" If she still hesitates, tell her with a half smile that she's no fun.

    Okay, now you're just crossing some serious lines here. You're not teaching guys to pick a girl up--you're teaching guys to PUT HER DOWN.

    BIG MISTAKE!!! This is alpha-dog-establishing-dominance behavior, not relationship-building behavior. Game playing to the damaging hilt. If all you want is a one-night stand and you don't care how you affect the other person, then sure...this advice works. Guys-----I HOPE you don't want that!!! Nosferatu, this part ceases to be entertaining...and is, instead, darkly enlightening.... Not a fun time anymore.

    When taking your target away from her group of friends, don't be afraid to be a tad aggressive with her.

    I hope this is inadvertently stated a little more strongly than intended. Otherwise, see the comment above.

    Yeah, I'm going to have to come back to this one.

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep
    Continue to move up in the group ladder in order of attractiveness.....

    .......if you're the only available guy. Otherwise, she may be lead to believe you want any of those women and not her, in particular.

    When you encounter women in groups, there is a good chance you will encounter a cockblocker.

    So true!

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu
    BIG MISTAKE!!! This is alpha-dog-establishing-dominance behavior, not relationship-building behavior.

    I'm aware that none of this has anything to do with creating a long-lasting, happy relationship. It never has, nor will it until the two people spend a significant amount of time together. I keep trying to tell you this, but you seem to believe that the relationship should start even before any phone numbers are exchanged. Would you prefer that I suggest the man ask the woman how many children she wants before he's asked her out?

    Again, a relationship cannot exist if the couple hasn't been on more than a few dates. The first date cannot exist unless phone numbers are exchanged. Phone numbers cannot be exchanged if she's not interested in him. She cannot be interested in him unless he talks to her.

    The relationship isn't the common denominator, and it never will be. Attraction is the common denominator for long term relationships, short term relationships, fuck buddies, and one night stands. None of those can exist without attraction.

    Please keep in mind that I'm happily married, and I have successfully tried and tested everything I write. I'm a long way off from talking about happy, long-lasting relationships. The guy following along with my posts hasn't even got his first phone number yet! He doesn't even know how to flirt!

    I hope this is inadvertently stated a little more strongly than intended.

    I'm not talking about ripping her arm off, I'm talking about using body language to communicate and going for what you want. The men who are reading this are likely afraid of going as far as to brush confetti out of her hair, nevermind "leading" her to the dance floor by taking her hand.

    If you're offended by that, just wait until we get to the part about asking for her number! Or even worse, the first date!

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    For you guys reading this keep in mind: This approach may work on a certain target (young party girls in a club) but will not work on other women. For me personally, gentle teasing is ok, but putdowns are not a way to build rapport with me. If a strange man is trying to lead me away from the group by manhandling me, I'm not going to go.

  • Xena
    Xena
    When taking your target away from her group of friends, don't be afraid to be a tad aggressive with her. If she hesitates to leave the group, grab her hand, give her arm a slight tug, and say "Come on, have some fun!" If she still hesitates, tell her with a half smile that she's no fun. Give her a couple of minutes to change her mind. If she doesn't, then it's likely she's not interested and it's time to find another target, possibly even someone else in the group.

    uuuummmm NO

    Women travel together for a reason, protection. In a world where your drink can be spiked with a date rape drug in the time it takes to turn your head being aggressive with a woman in that way is just asking to be labeled as potential trouble by the woman and all her friends.

    And calling a woman a "target" Geez need help getting off all fours and walking upright into the 21st century???

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    god you're uptight, Xena. sheesh, have some fun; you're drinking like a beached fish to lower your inhibitions anyway, think how low your inhibitions will go with a roofie. And if you don't wanna be a target, tape up your matching bullseyes ferchrisake.

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