In Memorandum (page 2)

fullofdoubtnow

(((((((((((Richie)))))))))))

I don't pretend to understand what you are going through, but I admire you for the way you are facing up to the situation.

Take care

Linda

I understand. You are mourning what you never had. When you "bury" the loss, a funny thing happens. You can grow and heal. It worked for me, and now I enjoy a mildly platonic relationship with MY "mom".

....Your spare Canadian mama.

love2Bworldly

Wow Richie--words from the heart. I sympathize with you, although my mom was not a JW--she was mentally ill and neglected me, and my dad was extremely abusive to me and my siblings. It's a rough road when you don't grow up with your emotional needs being met, but you sound like a strong person who has a good sense of self-esteem. Do what I did and don't let the cycle repeat with the next generation, my goal has been to be the best mom I can be to my 3 kids--to tell them how great they are and how much I love them.

Do Not Call

I really feel for you Richie.

The bit you wrote about missing the bond, but it was based on false pretences - that's exactly how I feel with my mum. Although I'm much older than you, it still hurts like hell.

I have read many of your posts in the past and you've always impressed me with your courage and maturity through everything. Your mum is missing out on a wonderful son.

I wish you all the very best as you try to come to terms with this unnecessary situation that this cruel religion has caused.

Love and hugs,
DNC XXXXXX
((((Richie))))

Nosferatu

Richie, it is really good to see you working through this, even though there's a shitload of pain there. I know what it's like when you try to be the best son that you can, and you get knocked down and shit all over. Hell, you even try to learn how to enjoy being shit all over out of respect and love for them.

The scars will never go away. However, they will forever remind you of what kind of person she was, and how much that shit hurt. I still have moments like the one you're having.

But there comes a time where you get back up, brush the shit off, and you keep on going.

I'll tell you something, it's been almost four months since I last spoke to my mother, and it's been a real peaceful four months. She chose to cut me off because I confronted her about putting my son in danger. She'd rather cut me off than admit that she was wrong, and that's perfectly fine by me.

As time goes on, you'll begin to realize how much you're unlike your parents - especially your mother. It helps when you have nothing in common with her, because then there's no common bond. Without a common bond, a relationship is pretty useless.

There's going to be a lot of ups and downs throughout your life when it comes to your parents. I've experienced a lot of anger at times, and a lot of sadness. I'm physically paying for my parents' neglect to take me to the hospital when I was injured. The changing weather reminds me of that, and it is a major reason why I probably won't have any more children - I'm having trouble keeping up with the one I have now because of my physical problems which probably could have been prevented with a trip to the hospital.

Don't worry about what your future wife and kids are gonna think or say. Accept it as part of your life and your past because a lot of it was out of your control. You no longer need your mother's approval or support for anything you do in your life.

zack

Hey Richie,

I've seen you at assemblies and conventions and recently at Target. Always i wanted to say hello. Buy this religion is like living in Stalin's

Russia--- who can you trust? Anyway, all the best to you man. Truely. I grew up in this and swallowed the hook 'cause fear was stronger

than love--- the fear of getting the shit beat out of you by those wonderful ladies, my mom, grandma, and aunt, ----for not wanting to go to a meeting. I'm glad you're out while you're young.

Take care.

Zack-------

tall penguin

(((Richie)))

Thank you for giving words to such deep pain. I can relate.

tall penguin

Honesty

I'm going to maintain a relationship with my father, and consider it an unfortunate circumstance that you are his wife.

((((((((((RR)))))))))

That is why the relationship I have with my 10 year-old son flourishes despite his 'spiritually mature' JW mother who never fails to remind him how apostate I've become since I left Jehovah..

RichieRich

Thank you all for your comments here and via asides in PMs.

Everything seems really dramatic, but thats something I've been wanting to get off of my chest for sometime. It was just emotional trying to compose it into an intelligent stream of words.

I'm fine, and moving forward continues to be my focus with things.

Zack and Jgnat, you have PMs.

avishai

Man, that got me choked up. ((((((Big manly hugs)))))

In Memorandum