Who cares if it's a double standard! If a white person calls me the n-word, it's going to be perceived differently than if a black person calls me the same thing. Just like a Spanish person might take offense if someone other than a Spanish person called him "homes." I wonder if people really don't understand that or if some are being intentionally obtuse for the sake of furthering their arguments.
What I don't understand is why white people whine about the double standard all the time. It's not navigating a minefield. Just don't say it, and get on with your lives. I don't whine because white people would be offended if I call them rednecks, while Foxworthy has made a career out of it. I just don't say it, and it doesn't bother me one way or the other.