Hi Terry,
I wasn’t going to open this topic up but I’m so glad I did. I tend to get pretty emotional and reading these stories touched me. I know that Mouthy is a Christian but wasn’t sure if there were too many that still believed.
Terry, you mentioned that you didn’t meet your dad till you were 25. I never had a close relationship with my dad. He passed away a few years ago. The sad thing is, I don’t miss him. How can you miss someone you never had. I think there is a connection here. For a long time I didn’t feel loved by God; that for a while I gave up on Him. What I realized that it wasn’t God who had forsaken me, it was my dad that had. He was never able to show me that he loved me. Is there a possibility that the same can be true for you? Being a man you might feel that you shouldn’t have these emotions; I don’t know.
I also feel that there is a connection with wavering faith and the Organization that you left. From the horror stories I have read on these forums and from the experiences through my mother I can understand why one would think that God is just a mean, hateful entity. I don’t feel that God is like that at all. God is love.
I used to think that He was just an impersonal God that didn’t really care about anyone. But how could that be. An impersonal God can’t create beings with feelings.
The church I go to now is far from perfect. The church I went to prior to that was imperfect. But they teach the really important things....like the Love of God. No church can save me; only faith in Jesus.
With the Org it seems that time is spent in doing things: reading, going door to door, going to meeting after meeting, and putting the fear in you. What about just experiencing. Be Still and Know that I am God (Psalms 46:10)
You may not feel it but that doesn’t mean that God isn’t there for you; that He doesn’t love you, because He loves us all. I don’t always feel it. Sometimes I do feel that He pulls away just enough so you pursue him, reach out to him.
I personally don’t think that God reveals Himself to us on a regular basis. I’ve experienced His presence a few times in my life and it was unmistakable. The first time I realized that God loved methis amazing feeling came over me that I can’t describe but I know it was real. The next time I was going through a really difficult time for a few days and felt totally abandoned, but then heard him speaking (in my thoughts-no voices) I’m still here; I never left you. I love Hebrews 13:5 Because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
I do believe that all people are sinful; that’s our nature. But in "worldly" terms I feel that most people are descent and caring. We hurt others because we are hurting ourselves.
People, friends, family are wonderful but when you’re all alone you still have God to talk to. Some times these people aren’t there for you but He is always there. For me it’s a quiet presence, not fireworks.
Like Mouthy said, we need to focus on what we do have. In North America, and Europe too, we have so much to be thankful for, and we all need to remind ourselves of that sometimes. I think when there’s an abundance we sometimes forget about God. People from our church go to Africa on a regular basis to help the people there and when they come back they are always in awe. The people they help have almost nothing but have a faith that puts ours to shame.