Do You Feel Like You Were "Screwed Over" By A Judicial Committee?

by minimus 50 Replies latest jw friends

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  Gopher

  Years later after not being able to talk to her JW family, she "repented" and falsely admitted to her sin and got reinstated.

  This is a big reason I'd never go back to get reinstated. I'd have to "repent" about some things that never even happened. I'm just not up to that!

  My loyal-to-the-WTS-parents, however, told me that they have met the elders from my last congregation and believe they are trustworthy. In essence, they have chosen to trust some elders who live 1800 miles away from them over their own son. And then they blame me for the breakup in our family!! Watchtower teachings have turned their hearts to stone.
• 

  minimus

  It is sad to see families needlessly broken apart.

  Remember, elders are told by "Mother" that it's better to be keeping the congregation clean and disfellowship than risk keeping a "wicked man" in their midst.
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  Tuesday

  I dunno the whole thing makes me somewhat annoyed. I'm just going to say "I'd rather have a repentant sinner in my midst than an unrepentant liar". It seems you can get away with anything in the org if you lie enough.
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  LongHairGal

  Wow, these experiences are interesting. It is interesting to see how if they didn't see you cry...they would feel you are not repentant enough. Really? Who the hell do these f&ck heads think they are??? Some asshole is going to presume to judge me??? Sounds like they are on a giant ego trip that they have no right to be on.

  I would never give anybody the satisfaction of attending a JC.

  LHG
• 

  Gopher

  Elders are told by "Mother" that it's better to be keeping the congregation clean and disfellowship than risk keeping a "wicked man" in their midst.

  I heard at a circuit assembly that elders weresupposed to err on the side of mercy. (I guess if they feel like it, they will !)

  It seems you can get away with anything in the org if you lie enough.

  Keeping a clean "appearance" or image is the main thing, don't you know?

  It is interesting to see how if they didn't see you cry...they would feel you are not repentant enough

  That is just one factor. There are people (like ButtLight above) who went into the JC thinking that honesty and humility would win over their committee. However, there are elders' human emotions involved, as well as whether you or your family are in the right group in the congregation, how often you attend meetings, how many hours counted in the ministry, etc. The claim that "holy spirit" helps guide the elders is patently false, needless to say.

  I would never give anybody the satisfaction of attending a JC.

  If I had a chance to do it over, I wouldn't go in front of the JC. I would have just handed them a letter of disassociation, or just waited for their phone call saying I was out of there. But at the time, I (a lifelong JW still) was in the clutches of the organization, thinking that somehow God worked through them and so I had to go give some kind of answer. However, midway through that last meeting with those elders when it was clear that the truth of the situation was not the main deciding factor in my case, I saw that the whole thing was a farce.
• 

  lawrence

  At the final J.C., for my heresy;

  I brought vaseline and rubbers.

  A copy of a DA letter to the Crooks,

  Stopped the magazines and books.
• 

  zeroday

  I was screwed..........I was very repentant....cried my eyes out, confessed my fornication on my own.....and still got df'd. On top of that,

  I have a cousin that was an elder for 20 years. He was very mental and verbal abusive to his wife and 3 kids. After 30 years of marriage she had enough and divorced him. Neither had a scriptual grounds for remarriage. He seduced a single sister and ended up in bed with her. They rushed to the Elders crying, had a JC and they were both publicly reproved and by the way you two might as well get married.
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  NotaNess

  Tuesday replied...." It seems you can get away with anything in the org if you lie enough."

  Amen to that.
• 

  DanTheMan

  I was screwed..........I was very repentant....cried my eyes out, confessed my fornication on my own.....and still got df'd. On top of that, all three members of my jc, were related! And one of them was df'd years before that for sleeping with my Mother!!!! Jerks.

  Different congregations, different elders, different current emphasis in the literature on keeping the congregation clean vs. having mercy, the gender of the sinner, etc. all can affect the outcome of a JC. My case was pretty similar to Buttlight. I fornicated. I confessed it. But I wasn't even all that repentant about it. What happened with me? Private reproof, which is to disfellowshipping as a night in the drunk tank is to death by electrocution. Why was I privately reproved instead of DF'd? Because I'm a guy probably, and the elders liked me, and there had been some recent emphasis in the literature on "having mercy". What bullshit.
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  Numinous

  In my case, the decision depended on how many people knew about it. "It" being a relationship, not sexual, with a worldly man. My elder husband had a relationship with a sister who was married, he says that it never got sexual, and he was deleted AKA "stepped down" but not reproved in any way. At that point the question was how many people knew about it...I was so disgusted, I asked if they were afraid of losing a good speaker...so when, two and a half years after we were divorced, I found a gem in the giant mud-hole of men that I was surrounded by, this same question came up. Because I had a lot of friends and had a big mouth, my Dfing was on the grounds of a principle. The principle of one flesh, and the fact that if everyone knew that I had a worldly man that I talked to on a regular basis it would "spread like gangrene" to the younger ones I knew. Word to the wise: Don't be polite and answer the door, the phone, or any certified mail that comes your way.