by Crumpet 52 Replies latest jw experiences
So I am going on a blind first date this weekend.......
Don't mention how lovely their red-tipped cane is, but; do pet their seeing-eye dog.
But, seriously folks.....(badda-bing)
Take a good hard look at the person and let your inner alarm bell tell you what's what.
If I don't respond to somebody in the first 9 seconds I know I'm just smelling flowers and watching clouds go by.
If I don't respond to somebody in the first 9 seconds I know I'm just smelling flowers and watching clouds go by.
how do you mean respond though? 9 secs is pretty short - I have taken disling to people in that time and then ended up being best friends for life...maybe judgement isnt sound!
Trust your instincts. Sometimes they may be wrong, but only sometimes. And besides, better to be wrong on a first date than two years down the road. Be completely, completely honest, with yourself and with your date.
Don't be overly worried about hurting feelings. Don't be mean, but if you just don't like the person and they do like you, better to bow out early and save you both frustration.
If you just want to get laid, be up front about that as well. Very important. If they can handle it, great. If not, too bad, so sad. Reserve the right to cut it off at any time, no reason necessary.
And most importantly, keep a list, mentally or otherwise, of the characteristics you're looking for ultimately. If the person does not match at least most of them, remind yourself that they're just not for you. And, again, be honest with them about that as well. Learn to say, if you don't know how to already, "You're a great person. I like you a lot. But you are simply not the person for me." And don't back down.
Personal experience with this has yielded phenomenal results!
Personal experience with this has yielded phenomenal results!
Brilliant advice daystar. I have already told her that I want us to be honest and frank and mostly we have been. I do need to reiterate perhaps that I am not looking for anything serious at this stage though.
I do need to reiterate perhaps that I am not looking for anything serious at this stage though.
Good idea. And when she falls for you anyway, as she inevitably will, don't back down. It will do no one any good for you to pretend.
If I don't respond to somebody in the first 9 seconds I know I'm just smelling flowers and watching clouds go by.how do you mean respond though? 9 secs is pretty short - I have taken disling to people in that time and then ended up being best friends for life...maybe judgement isnt sound!
Well, okay Crumpet; if you insist on being fair and accurate about this!
First impressions are highly over-rated. That is why I don't even bother dating anymore. You really have to be around somebody a long, long time to penetrate (forgive the male word-choice) their true persona. For one thing, we are on our best behavior around prospective strangers; even when we don't consciously intend to put on a facade.
Investing a lot of time in somebody only to discover they aren't a comfortable fit (forgive the male word-choice) is disappointing for both parties.
Humans carry a lot of baggage around with them which is a burden to themselves. We don't feel like clunking down all those trunks and valises filled with recriminations in an unwieldy pile on a first, second or even third outing. So, we shine our brightest side first and hope to blind the poor soul with our bedazzling better part before the skitter of little rat's feet brings the darkling nature out of the shadows into full view.
I, for one, have finally gotten over needing to make a good impression. This means I don't make one! I put my shadowy side out FIRST and if they survive that encounter (and only then) being to unveil the wonderful part of me which is sensitive, caring, intelligent and modestly fluffy.
Reverse psychology, you see.
But, you'll never take anything I say here as sincere. Yet, I am!
Did I mention I'm a lesbian? I'm male, but, I'd make a good lesbian! I had a wonderful and intimate relationship with a semi-lesbian girlfriend who taught me extraordinary skills. I may write a book. Or, better still--not write a book.
Oh dear, the tea kettle is summoning me.....where ever did I put those lace doilies!
Take her flowers! What woman doesn't like flowers?
do not fart....and definitely not in their face first date...leave that to the third date....do not discuss your stamp collection...philately will get you nowhere....
I know of people who ended up being married after first meeting on a blind date. Apparently friends knew character of both of them and thought they were a good match. There is no one golden rule there at all, but yeah go for it just look after yourself. My only advice is, go to martial arts training before just in case ;)
