Can You See Yourself With Someone Nearly 20 Years Your Junior?

by The wanderer 62 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I have had a 15 year age difference and he was younger. It was great and he was most definitely what I needed at the time. Eventually we both matured and it ended.

    I had just come out of the WTS. Emotionally I was probably a good match for him age-wise. I had a lot of growing up to do. He helped me enormously to do that growing up. That emotion growth went a lot faster for me than it did him. And eventually we were no longer a match and grew apart.

    He was my life-line when I needed one the most. I think he is the one that I measure all others by. He was and still is the love of my life. And that is a scary thought.

  • The wanderer
    The wanderer

    Dear LadyLee:

    I see the good and bad out of that kind of situation.
    And, that is where I am at this point. True, there
    will be good times and bad in all relationships re-
    gardless.

    However, I do not want to place myself in a situation
    in which she will get hurt or myself even.

    Thank you LadyLee for your perspective.

    Respectfully,

    The Wanderer

  • found-my-way
    found-my-way

    Wanderer,

    If you were 50, I could see how you would feel so much older,

    but 40 isn't OLD!

    yes, 21 is very young, but she will mature in time...

    maybe you can say, look me up in 5, 8, 10years, and if you still feel the same about me, let's date then?

    just a thought....

    I just hate to see someone lose someone that they could have a wonderful time with just because of an age difference... if everything else is there, maybe give it a shot?

    or are you afraid to because you think she might change her mind in a few months just when you have fallen head over heels for her, and she breaks your heart?

    edited to add: sorry Wanderer, I posted this before seeing your post above mine...

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    My husband is 18 years older than I am and we've been together for 16 years, married for 14 of those years. It's never been a problem for either of us. I was 29 when we met and newly xjw...so was probably as immature as a 21 year old... But, it's all good.

    lisa

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Rich:

    Twenty one seems a bit young for somebody who is 40. IF she were 31 I would say go for it.

    Ten years age difference is the limit for me.

    LHG

  • The wanderer
    The wanderer

    Dear Found My Way:

    I guess in part it is because her father is
    nearly my age and I wonder how that scenario
    would play out if she brought me home.

    Another part of me feels insecure with our
    age differences because individuals will
    mistake her for being my daughter and
    vice-versa.

    So, in summary it is my own uncomfortable-
    ness with the situation.

    She is kind and sweet and I love a woman
    that is kind and sweet, but male intuition
    tells me to back off.

    Thank you though.

    Respectfully,

    The Wanderer

  • The wanderer
    The wanderer

    Dear LGH:

    If she were 31 I would have married her already.

    Your friend,

    Richard

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Wanderer..Good Morning from the Great White North!.....I would definitly go out with someone 20yrs my junior..I`m very picky about who I will date.I met a nice lady who was smart,beautiful and was very interested in me..I had the same concerns as most people and put off taking her out.I needed to think about it..I waited too long..Now shes with someone else and they`re going to have a baby.....I wish them well,he`s a nice guy..But..This just isn`t going to work out..I doubt they`ll be together in 2yrs.....Don`t let age throw you off.If the lady is smart and mature,you could be walking away from your own happyness..Give it shot.If it dosen`t work out,so be it.If it does work out,you could have a wonderfull life together.....Don`t throw an opportunity to be happy away..I promise,you will regret it later...OUTLAW

  • The wanderer
    The wanderer

    Hello Outlaw:

    I see your point as well, but you
    have to admit it is a tough decision.

    Respectfully,

    The Wanderer

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Wanderer..Yes,it is a tough decision..When I met her,I was finacialy wiped out..I wanted to rebuild my life before I was going to let anyone into it..2yrs later I`m back on top..And..She`s gone.....I still see her at social functions and we are great friends..It could have been more...OUTLAW

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