Well, if you want your in-laws to see the light, and you get df'd and that's what will help everyone out and that's what you want---then I hope it works. But my mom was a regular pioneer for 40 years and the elders removed her from pioneering because she attended my daughter's wedding to a "worldly" man. This disillusioned her and depressed her gratly but she left in Jah's hands and is still in.
Well, here comes a judicial committee
by drew sagan 61 Replies latest jw friends
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drew sagan
That totally sucks minimus!
I suppose that the most striking difference is that our in laws (as well as this elder I have been talking to) are 'no nonsense' kind of people who really don't like to put up with peoples crap. While there may be some submission on their part, I can't possibly image that kind of bland acceptance (although the possibility is there). -
minimus
My 80 year old mom went thru months of pain but she did finally settle.
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HappyDad
Drew,
Sorry to hear that all of this crap is happening to you and your wife. Do what you deem necessary for the best outcome. But one thing I will advise is the recording device. There are a lot of small and good ones on the market. If you have it all recorded and they tell your in-laws something other than the truth, then you have the in-laws listen to the actual words.
Wishing you luck,
HappyDad
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drew sagan
That is exactly what I was thinking HappyDad!
I want to thank you as well as a number of other people on this board for giving such good advice. There are three things I'm definetly going to do:
- ask for a written notice telling me why this meeting is being held and when
- tape the conversation
- take notes so that I can bring up any point later on
- be aware that they are looking for repentance, not compliance
such good advice. YOu guys are the best! -
bluesbreaker59
Sorry buddy, you are getting the axe dropped on you, I guarantee it, I wished I could tell you otherwise, but its true.
The old elders will start harping on the society and believing in the faithful slave, and how they are "just imperfect men", and then they'll start into a "humble submission" routine, tell you how you're wrong for even looking into such matters.
As far as the YMCA, they'll probably quote that old chestnut, about "Bodily training is good for a little, but scriptural training is much more beneficial", or something like that, and then advise you to study more, and perhaps take walks together as a family while discussing scriptures, or some such horse shit.
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dawg
Drew, Make a stand and get the hell out!
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Lady Liberty
Dear Drew,
What stinking hypocrites! At least you have one who sounds like he may have a more open mind. I would lovingly point out how hypocritical it would be to disfellowship you over your YMCA membership when the organization was members of the NGO for 10 YEARS!!! Regardless of their response, at least in their hearts they will see the hypocracy. They supposedly joined the UN to get a library pass (we all know that is a lie) and you only joined the YMCA to go swimming..now.. where is the difference?? Grrrrr.... Oh this kind of BS gets my blood boiling!! Hang in there and keep us posted.
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
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Frank75
Personally I think they are going to move to disfellowship without cause. I actually plan on offering to give up my membership to the YMCA if that is what they want, but I feel they will not care if this offer is made.
No doubt in my mind they will df you. There are story after story of people as amiable with the elders (even just one of them) who walked in just to be slaughtered. It is what turns them on, why they are in it. They believe they are keeping the congregation clean.
It is a cult and when you walk, talk or act different, you must be removed/neutralized!
Once done those elders get to be the center of the circuit body politic until the next raving apostate is dealt with by someone else.
Your buddy may think he is on a roll with this legalistic approach but faced with the other two on the JC or the involvement from the CO, DO or Service Desk, HE WILL CAVE!
They always do. Your death (dfing) may be helpful for loosening him from the dubs, now or down the road. Don't count on it though.
Indeed, record the meeting if at all possible. They will ask you if you are. Lie or better yet laugh and apologize for laughing but do not answer that question!
I recorded mine, even placing the recorder on a timer in the library and retrieving it later. (You don't have a key by chance do you?) What happens when you're not in the room is more telling than what is said in front of you.
Frank75
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flipper
Drew, Mr. Flipper here. I went to a jc appeal committee meeting about a month ago with my 22 yr old son as my witness defending me against false allegations of "circumstantial evidence" fornication from last August 2006. It took that long because I refused to meet with them at a first jc meeting due to the falsity of it. My son and I stood our ground and stuck to our positions of this being a vendetta brought about by ex-wife of 9 years ago who hates that my son left the org. too. Now she's out to get me. The elders were so intimidated by my son and I remaining calm and confident, quoting to them from their own elders manual which sat on my lap, they didn't know quite how to respond. They are used to people lowering their heads in alleged fear and respect for them, they don't know how to deal with your cool confident demeanor. I say try to put them off balance by being respectful but firm, not cowering in fear, but not raising your voice either. Stick to your convictions, stay balanced ,non emotional, don't say you "don't believe this is God's org." they asked me that and I said, "it's a personal thing I feel which I don't want to share, I'm confused , I don't know".The elders brought me back in and said," we don't know what decision to make. We'll have to think on it awhile. We'll let you know in two weeks. That was over a month ago.Drew if you confuse them and give them things saying you'll sue their ass like I did for slander and abuse,they have to consult the society to rely on them for an answer. Who knows, but at least you will not have played their game, not let them control you.Good luck to you my friend