the R word (page 2)

mrsjones5

My brother still rides in a short bus. Now my son rides a short bus

Love the short bus!

BlackSwan of Memphis

I agree with you. Somebody I care about very much is the "R" word or, "Developmently Disabled". My mother never forgave an uncle who made fun of this person. So, I should be more sensitive than most. Sometimes we hear things uttered around us and then we let it slip out even if there is no real malice intended on our part.
I realize we live in a crass world where people make fun of things that aren't funny. You daily hear jokes about fat people, etc. I am not attacking any particular poster, but sometimes people pick up bad habits. The problem is that our world is being politically corrected to death. So, this just adds one more oops to the list.

thank you thank you thank you for getting it.

When someone you care about is that, you see how much it hurts them. When someone you care about is that kid on the short bus and their short bus is used to make fun of people....it crushes them.

The world is very crass and yes it is easy to pick up bad habits. Damn I have em.

I guess that is just why I finally just had to say something.

I do not use the word retard.
Not because I think it is wrong or offensive but because I dont want to look like an ignorant fool.

It IS offensive. Yes you would look like an ignorant fool. But if that's the Only reason, and you aren't seeing that to some kid with cp and mild delays coming from a "cool" (not meant to be rude, being serious here) guy like you, how that could really hurt him......then dude.....you aren't the guy I thought you were.

IP_SEC

BsoM

Even a child like that can and should be taught that there are ignorant fools in the world. That is one of the most important developments in a personality that ever comes. Sadly some people never get it. Shielding from the real world benifits no one.

BlackSwan of Memphis

Parli: Yeah, yeah I know I thought of that too. I suppose I don't "get it". Cracker. Crackers come in different colors...but the point is there and thankx for getting it.

Hm I guess I missed the other threads (well some of them anyway) where that word was used but I know I used it recently (can't remember if I used it about myself or...I need to look at that post again).
Yeah I can see why you would be sensitive about that word, I have a younger brother Daivd (he's 37 now) who is mentally and physically handicapped. David was in a swimming pool accident when he was almost 5 years old. He drowned but was saved only to have brain damage which affects his speech, left him unable to walk, and with the mind of a child. Growing up my sister Suzie, my brother Wes, and I were very protective of David. Didn't like the way people would stare at him, can't control that but we would stare back and usually make some remake about how rude that person was.
But for some reason I'm not that sensitive about the word retard, though I rarely use it. Now if someone dared to use that word to describe my child (who has autistic tendencies and sensory issues which can manifest into some different behaviors) then I would have a problem.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't care if that word is used as long as it is not used as a put down towards anyone (self putdowns are different), I don't consider it to be on the same level as N or C or MF or even B. But I will respectfully try not to use that word in the future.
Josie

I am really sorry about your brother. But ya know, I am very happy he has YOU as a sister and siblings that care so much about him. Thanks for understanding.

((((( )))))) HUGS AND KISSES TO YOU (((((( )))))) Thank you for this topic.
I was just sitting here trying to figure out how to not be offensive while pointing out that I was offended.
I have never been worried about the PC way to say "retarded". Doesn't matter to me if you use that word or "developmentally delayed" or "mentally challenged".
As the mother of such a child I can tell you that the "spirit " in which the word is used matters more than the actual term.
I find it extremely hurtful to make fun of helpless people that can't defend themselves.
The fact that I've only recently discovered that the paradise is a lot of hooey hasn't helped. My son lived until he was 23. He never talked or walked without a walker. He ate food the consistency of baby food and wore diapers his whole life.
He was a happy, smiling, loving kid with an infectious laugh. And yes, he rode a short bus.

Ok now I'm just crying. I suppose you hit it, the spirit of the word. Don't use it in a bad way, please don't peeps. I am so sorry about the loss of the paradise. I know and I have spent many nights crying over that loss. Not just for my daughter, she is awesome. I have seen so much of it in the last 10 years that knowing there is no paradise for these kids to be "healed" is just hard.

My brother still rides in a short bus. Now my son rides a short bus
Love the short bus!

The short bus carries some very wonderful and amazing people.

Paralipomenon

I should mention that while I don't like people calling someone else "retarded" or a "retard" in the form of an insult, I do feel the word has a place in our society.

If someone is has a medical limitation on their intellect I have no issue using the term. There is no malice.

I take political correctness to a point, but I don't go looking for terms that will be acceptable to absolutely everyone. Retarded is an English word. It has a proper context, if I am using it within the proper context I and am requested to use a different term I would comply out of respect. If however someone demanded I not use the term, they would find me less amicable.

unique1

I am so confused. I really don't know what D word you are referring do. I don't see Damn as very insensitive. Is it Dumbass as in Red Foreman 70's show? Cause I didn't think that was offensive either.

BlackSwan of Memphis

I think Parli what you just said not only makes perfect sense but perhaps helps to shed light on the matter.

a) Yep, it is a medical condition. Mentally retarded, stunted growth.

b) When ya call someone a retard you are in essence taking something that is serious and causes much pain to others and making light of it.

I have no problem with it being used in a clinical sense. I don't like it, but it is what it is.

Ip:

You certainly are not wrong! Of course we need to teach our special kids that there are ignorant fools out there.

But that does not mean that we can't try to curb the use of the word does it?

That we can't say oh hey look this is really really not a cool way to call someone dumb or stupid. It's just mean.

Btw I owe you an apology, the way you responded I thought you were defending Your own use of it, I was mistaken and I am really sorry for coming at you that way, I misunderstood you. My apologies for that.

BlackSwan of Memphis

Unique: Ha it better not be damn or else I would be an even bigger hypocrite then I already am just being a breathing person.

dyke

(sorry)

eclipse

The short bus carries some very wonderful and amazing people.

Yes it does! They are the most sincere and genuine people you could ever know.

I have been around mentally-challenged kids all my life...and I admit I use the R word to describe things that I find stupid. NEVER once would I ever think to apply that word to a child or person who is challenged. And that word to me does not conjur up an image of a special needs person. I know that word is offensive, and I will try to never use it again, and I'm sure that many here would never use it to describe those special people either.

I am very touched by all of the above posts, you all got it dead on. We shouldn't make fun of one another using the terms ''short bus''...it is insensitive, I know it was NOT intended to be cruel or mean...it is just thoughtlessness.

Hugs to all of you who have siblings or children who are special....they love you oh so much, their love is pure and unconditional...and I'm so glad that they have you as their family...

(with tears in my eyes,)

-eclipse

BlackSwan of Memphis

oh heavens, eclipse I got the tears settled from the other posts and now they're going again.

the R word

Share this