I think a lot of us don't want to unduly influence those on their own particular path. An opinion, a supportive post, an empathetic ear, and some advice from our personal perspective is fine, but activism is serious business. Then you're messing with people on a much deeper level and I'm not sure that's always a good thing. Put the info out there, talk and debate some, but let people find their own way in the end without pressure from an organized group. JMO for what it's worth.
Most Ex-JWs R Not Active in the Anti-JW Community. Maybe 1%? Any thoughts?
by Seeker4 70 Replies latest jw experiences
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Marcel
i think thats just because most ppl dont think much about "the truth". they leave because they want to do things which are forbidden in the group or are disappointed by things happened in the local congregation - some of them still believe its the "truth". thats all. not very much leave because of false doctrines other signs without having a "sin" in first place. thats how i view in imho. and its not unlogical. you HAVE to quit thinking when joining the JWs... no wonder that most of'em dont start after leaving.
thats no insult, its a way of life. sometimes i wish i could stop argueing with myself. its senseless most of the time. -
pratt1
Most of those that I know that have faded or are even DFed, still believe deep down inside that the dubs have the "truth".
Hence most do not participate in any anti JW webs sites, books or communities.
They are afraid of being labeled an "apostate" or as some have said, Sinning against the Holy Spirit", the Unforgivable sin.
Most however will tell you that they have moved on with their lives, but in reality, they really haven't. They have not and do not plan for a future. The are not saving money for retirement, they have not and are not putting money away for their children's college fund. They have not sought higher education to get better paying jobs.
Most are stuck in limbo, like they are just going through the motions until the end comes.
I say they are still hooked.
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willyloman
I've often pondered this, too. I look around at my family and several ex-dubs I know and none of them spend as much - or even any - time on this forum, even though I've given them the address and told them how helpful it's been for me in my transition. One occasionally visits and will mention a thread they saw. Another often asks "what's new on the forum" and wants to hear any interesting "news" about what's going on in dubdom.
Beyond that, there is zero interest. They have all "moved on" and seem content to forget it ever happened. Me, I find it hard to forget the events that shaped my entire adult life so I stay connected on the forum. But I am starting to understand the lack of interest. I can visualize a day when I will just fade from the forum and not look back. I have little activism left in me and am less interested in what "news" arrives from the JW front. I think this is because I now practice tolerance and respect for other people's beliefs. This new outlook suits me very well and puts me at peace.
I feel sorry for people stuck in the dub world, but realize many of them are there by choice and would not leave if you handed them the key, traveling money and a free pass. Others are held captive by family or business ties and would be gone in a hearbeat, but they are prisoners who cannot fathom being - in Bob Dylan's immortal words - on their own, with no direction home.
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journey-on
"like a complete unknown...like a rolling stone."
I LOVED THAT SONG! And it's so apropos to your words, Willyloman.
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Seeker4
Marcel,
These comments of yours pissed me off, at first: "i think thats just because most ppl dont think much about "the truth". they leave because they want to do things which are forbidden in the group or are disappointed by things happened in the local congregation - some of them still believe its the "truth". thats all. not very much leave because of false doctrines other signs without having a "sin" in first place."
It pissed me off because that's sort of the JW line on things - people leave 'cause they want to do things that are forbidden, usually involving sex! But, I have to admit, to a great degree what you wrote is true. What I hate about the JW take on this is that they see these as the only reasons people leave, and I know that there are a ton of us on here who have left for reasons of logic, science and reason - not just because we wanted a freer sex life!
Willyloman - I understand your post perfectly. I share many of your feelings. Well put.
S4
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Seeker4
Oops! Double post. Sorry.
S4
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Highlander
My preference would be to move on and become an Ex-X-JW. In reality I don't see that as a possiblity as the vast majority of my family are all j-dubs and always will be. The cult runs deep into my family for 5 generations. Those, like me, that are viewed as apostate are cut off from the majority. I just don't see that trend ever changing among my family.
When the time is right, I will become more involved in the anti-jw movement. First of all it's my style to do that. I've always hated bullies, and I put the j-dubs and the organization into that category. When in High School, I always stood up to bullies. Now, as an adult, I've found a new bully that needs an ass-kicking.
The reason I haven't stepped up my anti-jw activity is because it would completely tear my family apart. Right now I'm only partially shunned, meaning that my family limits their association with me, yet remains in contact. My dad has for the most part, put this family back together. Granted, he did do it through use of 'force', by telling my mom that if everyone shuns me, then he will divorce her and move out here to california. If I were to undermine what my dad has done, then I believe it would put an enormous amount of guilt on him as he would blame himself for failing to keep the family together as one unit. I'm just not willing to do that to my dad. For all he has done for myself and the family, it would be disrespectful for me to 'throw him under the bus'.
That being said, I do take part in passive anti-witnessing. Through my business I am meeting with customers at their homes or businesses and often times there are witnesses in the area.. I use the j-dubs presence to start an anti-jw conversation with my customer. I keep it brief, but in summary I inform my customer of the realities of being a j-dub, such as shunning, blood doctrine, information control, breaking apart of families, etc.
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Arthur
It is amazing to me how many ex-JWs live in my area alone. And, I am only talking about the ones who are of the "apostate" type, not merely ones who are DFd. I also noticed that a huge percentage really do not have any contact with other ex-JWs. Just in my life; I have five ex-Witness friends who do not participate in any ex-JW internet activity at all. There are a couple of them that I wish they would participate here. They're very intelligent, they have some excellent observations, and I believe could provide some great input on the forum.
I have found that for some reason, many ex-JWs just aren't interested in talking about their former JW life. A few are devout church-goers, and are immersed in those activities. Others are immersed in their jobs, boyfriends / girlfriends, or social lives, and aren't much interested in ex-JW discussions.
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steve2
Most of those that I know that have faded or are even DFed, still believe deep down inside that the dubs have the "truth".
pratt1, I agree. Among those who leave, there seems to be a hierarchy of sinfulness: It's okay to commit sins of the flesh and get booted out, because at least you haven't spoken out against "Jehovah's people".
Those who have been labelled "apostates" by the elders are considered to be the very worst people possible. Hence, I'd say a significant proportion od those who leave (and who don't intend returning) remain deluded about the Watchtower having the truth. They're as much enslaved to it mentally as they were when they were active JWs.