Most Ex-JWs R Not Active in the Anti-JW Community. Maybe 1%? Any thoughts?

by Seeker4 70 Replies latest jw experiences

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  SnakesInTheTower

  I think that my initial reason for starting the fade was personal.... being kicked in the teeth by the local yokels one too many times caused me to "cocoon" myself, protect myself from any further abuse and insult. But as I have lurked here over the years, and especially since actively posting here in the last few months, I have seen a better reason to leave...all of the lies, flip-flops, date changes, date bumping, date adjusting, chronology fixes, and other miscellaneous nonsense propogated by the Borg. As much as I am pissed off by that, I doubt I would ever be an activist x-JW...and my participation in the antiJW community probably starts and stops here.

  choosing life: ...let me comment on a few things you said and observed....

  I think a large amount of the ones who leave were fringe witnesses

  I think that is an interesting comment, coming from you. You and I were definitely not fringe witnesses. We were both pioneers at one time....(I double checked your past thread to be sure you had revealed that part of your JW life..you did... a few days ago).

  A lot more had the religion forced on them as children. These people, unfortunately, often still believe in at least some of what the jws teach

  This is an interesting observation and very true...my middle brother keeps telling me that he still believes...I told him he cannot possibly believe, he was never baptized, and has not been to the KH in years, not even the memorial (I told him to quit going to the once a year JW version of Easter...its hypocritcal)....I also told him the JW beliefs have changed so much since he quit going back around 1988-90.

  Many on here are trying to keep their family relationships intact to a point

  That's where I am at...dont want to hurt mom anymore than I probably do. I think she realizes I am on the last breath with this religion organization. She is definitely a lot more lax about meetings now.

  I see a slow fading in the congregations around me and a weariness of many of those still in.

  and finally...I see the same of course in our area..but I see it on a wider scale because I have contacts in the JWs all around the country and it is the same story everywhere...a definite slowing down by the rank and file.

  As for me....I will just adjust my fade to not hurt my mom and my closest friends. If I ever leave completely it will probably coincide with a move... I likely wont DA or get DF....unless they do it in absentia...no I will just move and not report my new location for a card transfer...then continue with a new life....whether that happens or not?....

  SnakesInTheTower (of the "definitely not an activist" Sheep Class)
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  sammielee24

  My brother did a fade many many years ago and was slightly shunned by the rest of the family who are all zealnuts. He was never disfellowshipped therefore, never totally shunned - and by slightly, I mean that he was allowed to visit the family a few times a year but his wordly wives were frowned on and his non JW kids were not held in high regard. That means of course, even less contact than he might have had.

  He has never engaged in any exjw sites, nor has he investigated the society...but then again, at the age of 55, he just acknowledged that he still suffers from being a JW. The residual effects seem to lie bubbling inside him but he refused to deal with it - opting instead to go through 4 marriages in a quest for some peace and contentment. His exwives have all said how much the society screwed him up, so they saw it but couldn't help him. So in his case, non activity with exjw's is because of a) fear of being totally shunned by all his family and his contacts in the business world b) denial of those effects.

  He got upset at one of his wives when she began reading about astrology and meditation for example - he subconciously linked it to demonism even though he had been 'out' for 10 years at the time. Small things like that. He still won't do the research on all the lies because if he does I don't think he can deal with the tragedy it caused for him in his life - but at least now he admits his feelings and we can talk about it. sammieswife.
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  JK666

  Pain and being "shellshocked" keep people from reseaching. It took me almost 3 years after getting DF'ed to start looking at these sites. It liberated me from being an emotional hostage, but it took time to get here.

  Plus many others are not computer literate, coming from dubdumb.

  JK
• 

  steve2

  We all have just so many days, weeks and years to devote to fighting a never ending dogmatic/fundamentalist religion.

  Of course that is not the only or the main reason a lot of us use this JWD site. Whose fighting the JWs? Not me. The Watchtower loves to portray all ex-JWs who visit sites such as this one as fighting the truth. What a convenient assumption. A lot of ex-JWs here are simply sharing their experiences with others, and are trying to better understand their JW experience and use their knowledge and experience to support others. Doesn't sound like a fight to me!
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  BizzyBee

  Yeah, this is why it would be great to have an organized [paid] effort - it is too big for any one person to handle no matter how dedicated.

  There is definitely no one profile of the "ex-JW." When I was privileged to meet with Ray F and others 25-27 years ago at the 'Guntersville Summit,' I remember one brother saying, "We kept looking over our shoulder, thinking that others would be following right behind us - leaving the organization. We were so surprised that no one was there."

  It still surprises me how many people are just glad to be out - and do not look back. That is not for me. This sect has impacted my life in ways from which I will never fully recover. I will never be ambivalent about it. Would that I could.
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  blondie

  I wonder how many are active in community issues? political or otherwise?

  How many in the non-jw community are active in their community?

  I don't think this is indicative of any particular unique mindset with xjws, just people in general.

  Blondie
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  IP_SEC

  Hell, Im getting sick of xjw stuff myself.

  If not for friends I'da blown this joint along time ago

  Hey blondie, 'sup?
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  blondie

  Hard to have no friends when you do the review each week. As long as jws are in trying to get out and I can get the info, I will post it.

  Who would stay on any DB much if they did not form closer contacts. I post on other non-jw DBs and have formed attachments there and met one of the administrators.

  Blondie
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  jgnat

  seeker4 "So, you don't think I have to be afraid of Armageddon then?" He was only partly joking.

  Funny, just last night we missed the last five minutes of a favorite show when the picture broke up and the screen went blank. At the same time, a thunderstorm blew through outside. I got up, "Well that's it then, Armageddon's started. I'm off to bed." Hubby, for half a second, stared at me with owl eyes before he decided I was kidding. It's like an obsession now, for me to pick away at those silly beliefs.

  As for how do you motivate exited witnesses beyond the activist 1%? Like blondie said, you might be fighting human nature. You could start a "social epidemic", which is not as hard as it might seem. The ex-community may have to hit critical mass before that happens, though. I strongly recommend "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell to get some insight on this odd human behavior. http://www.gladwell.com/tippingpoint/
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  justhuman

  The reason is they just got tired with all this lunatic Wichtower staff. People they need to have peace on mind, so they feel that they had enough of this crap and just go on with their lifes.

  I believe most of us who still anti-JW active members community is because we are hurt so much by the WT society. If I could get my family out of there, I wouldn't care at all. I would not even mention WT in my life. In fact I'm doing it now. I'm just trying to get on with my life, pick up my pieces that are all over the place due to the Witchtower policy. Broken marriage, shuned by everyone.

  The only reason that I'm active anti JW is my 2 small children. I'm trying to help them, and brake the WT bonds that my ex-wife is possing upon those 2 innocent souls.