Most Ex-JWs R Not Active in the Anti-JW Community. Maybe 1%? Any thoughts?

by Seeker4 70 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Seeker4

  Yesterday I called a family on the West Coast that were in my congregation 18 years ago. Between parents, kids and marriage partners, there were six of them who had been Witnesses. They have all faded, and have had nothing to do with the Witnesses for at least 15 year or more.

  Yet, none of them is in any way active even in looking at the ex-JW sites online. They are unaware of any of the teaching changes like the 1914-generation. They simply got tired of all the pressure and used a move to simply stop attending meetings and fade away.

  When I think about all the ex-JWs I know fairly well, I come up with dozens, even hundreds of names. The majority are young people who just left once they got old enough, but I can think of probably 50 who were very active, some had been elders or MS. Out of all these folks, I know of only two or three who are active on any ex-JW boards. Out of my own personal experience I would say that of those who leave, maybe 1% get involved the way many of us have.

  Now for me, it may just be my personality. The ex-brother I talked with yesterday said that I had been "an elder's elder" as a JW. It seems to be in my nature to be an activist, to try to make a difference, to fight for what I see as right. I was a gungho elder, and now I tend to be a gungho skeptic and rationalist.

  But can you imagine the impact if even 20 or 30 percent of ex-JWs became more vocal?

  Any thoughts on this? Do you think as the ex-JW community becomes more vocal, we'll draw more in? What about you newbies? How come you're here? I know some of you have been out a long time. Are you thinking of being more active in the ex-JW arena?

  S4
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  Cellist

  I think you're right. We know alot of inactive, da'd and df'd JWs in our area and none of them are even remotely interested in what the WTS is up to right now. They're just busy enjoying the life they weren't able to enjoy before. I don't know if I would wish anything different for them.
  
  Cellist
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  Dragonlady76

  I agree with you, many that leave or fade away do not seek out others, there are several possible reasons for this, first I think many like myself, wanted to forget their past, and did not want reminders of their painful past, so we avoided anything JW related. The second part is a fear of being labeled an "apostate" this is still a very powerful and effective word the dubs use to scare the hell out of you, because of this many will avoid looking up any information related the society, not to mention that many have no idea that they were being deliberately mislead by the society. Finally many do not want to be found for fear of being shunned or df'd or to avoid loosing what little bit of family they may have left.
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  Narkissos

  I think the Internet has changed a lot of things. Probably more people now are leaving the WT through the xJW "community" and so the figures are changing. Those who left 20 years ago mostly did it alone and went on their way, gladly leaving anything JW-related behind them.

  When I left in 1986, I got in touch with Ray Franz, read CoC, but it quickly appeared we were not on the same page on many things. So I moved on, and only a few years ago had the curiosity to check xJW sites such as this one.
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  Narkissos
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  slimboyfat

  My father in law was a special pioneer and presiding overseer, well thought of and a friend of a current GB member.

  He became a skeptic and drifted in the 1980s. He worked out 607 BCE was wrong himself, and lots of other inconsistencies in the reasoning about evolution and the inspiration of the Bible. Now he is not even remotely interested in what the Witnesses are up to. I suggested he read Ray Franz's books at least, but he is not interested.

  Slim
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  WLG

  Any thoughts on this? Do you think as the ex-JW community becomes more vocal, we'll draw more in? What about you newbies? How come you're here? I know some of you have been out a long time. Are you thinking of being more active in the ex-JW arena?

  I'm here just to keep up. I feel that the org took enough of my life and it's easy to give them more by sacrificing even more time and energy to ani-org activity. Most of the time I just want to forget it.
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  Seeker4

  Interesting replies. Slimboyfat, your's is one of those experiences that I wonder about. Someone like that is like myself - the WTS was so central to my life, I can't really just drop it and go on without thinking about it again.

  How many of these folks that leave do you feel still think that maybe the WTS has some form of "the truth," or is still an OK organization?

  Even the ex-brother that I talked with yesterday, when I explained a few things to him, asked: "So, you don't think I have to be afraid of Armageddon then?" He was only partly joking. I assured him that the thing the Witnesses had been most consistent with was being wrong about pretty much everything, especially dates.

  S4
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  changeling

  I agree that it would be helpful to other faders and ex JW's in general to be part of a community such as this one. It would help re-inforce their desicion to leave, lest they have any doubts.

  I have a sister in law who has not been active for over 5 years and still carries a burden of guilt because on some level she believes JW"s have the truth and she was unable to live up to their standards. Up until recently (when a member of this board spoke to her), I thought I had made some headway in easing her fears. I was mistaken, she still belives. If only she came to a forum as this one, she could be trully free of the ties that bind her. But, as they say, "you can lead a horse to water...".

  changeling
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  OnTheWayOut

  Many people just want to move on with their lives. You know the JW's are just a small facet of
  the culture today. It's easy to get away from such an isolationist group. You can't really blame
  the inactive/disfellowshipped/disassociated that want nothing to do with JW or anti-JW stuff.

  Speaking for myself, if someone managed to really organize the anti-JW movement, I would be
  happy to contribute, but otherwise I plan to get over my bitterness with JW's and slowly fade
  away, while also just keeping tabs with things about JW's and anti-JW's. That means I will be
  barely involved unless something brings me in. At first, I said if I were successfully DF'ed, I would
  become a vocal anti-JW. That could still happen, but I sincerely think I would prefer to just
  find peace after a short time. Now if my wife or mother died as a result of JW doctrine, I might
  be able to keep the fire burning longer.

  imagine the impact if even 20 or 30 percent of ex-JWs became more vocal

  That would serve to keep virtually every potential recruit away from JW's, and it would hinder
  the so-called 'weak' JW's. Many young ones would leave. But overall, I don't think it would
  be a big factor. The GB would use the vocal group to prove that Satan is against them, and
  faithful rank-and-file would be tighter than ever. Still, the tight group would be smaller.